Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Great Melting Pot


The place... Newark, NJ. The year.... 1997. The locaction.... The Priory (a Restaurant) during lunch. I was planning my wedding to my 1st husband, a friend (at the time) whom I was having lunch with was curious about some of the plans for the wedding. I, an Original woman from the wilderness of North America, was planning to have (and did) a "Broom Jumping Ceremony" at the wedding that was separate from the church service. I wanted it separate so that it could stand on it's own merrit. She, a muslim woman originally from Egypt, commented, why would you want to remember something to sad and tragic like slavery?

Fast forward to this morning. Yesterday, while doing the Knowledge to Solstice traditions, (I am really curious why the apocalyspe of 2012 is scheduled near the winter solstice) I came across a celebration called Junkanoo/John Canoe/John Kuner. A white person asked me what I was reading so intently and I told him. Explained what I had learned in the 24 hours since finding out about it, and he shook his head and informed me that Black people will never get ahead if we keep holding on to the past. Really? I asked him to explain. When I took his head I wanted him/devil to know why.

This... person... said that we as a race needed to get over slavery. It was long gone and no Blacke person is currently affected by it. Long gone? I asked. My great great grand mother was born a slave. Is that long gone? He said. Impossible (I know why he found that hard to believe... And so do you). I shook my head. He asked when my mother was born (nosy mf'er ain't he?) I told him he seemed confused. He asked my age, I told him and added that both my grand parents were born at the turn of the 20th century. Emmancipation came in 1865 So yes that fits. He had to pull out his phone to verify. That's one argument down the drain.

Since he got all in my Kool-Aid I asked him a few questions about himself. His peops hail from Ireland. So I was like y'all don't celebrate St. Patrick's day right? He looked like I had just slapped the taste out of his mouth. And said YES YES the celebrate and celebrate big. I asked why, since they no longer reside in Ireland and I suspected and later confirmed that he never set foot in Ireland. So.......? He admitted defeat and ask we parted company I suggested that he get some potatoes.

Black folks in this country have very little in the way of our OWN traditions. Partly our fault, partly him/devil. We weren't allowed ot keep our native African traditions while enslaved. We came up with new ones... like jumping the broom. When segreation was allegedly repealed, Black folks stove hard to do like the white man rather than the other way around. In that process we lost a lot of our identity. I just want to get mine back. For me and mine.

Also Black people have this shame regarding slavery. What do WE have to be ashamed about? Did we go to a country and force people against their wills to board a ship, leave their native country to never return? Did Black people strip themselves of their clothes and dignity and willingly become chattel to serve him/devil? Did we willingly separate from our families by agreeing to be sold off to different planatations? Did Black women ask to be raped and miscengenated? Did we asked to be whipped and brutalized? Did we ask to live in shacky houses and eat the white man's cast offs? Did we do anything wrong? EMPHATICALLY NO! I'm proud that I come from a stock of survivors and inovators.

What I think white people don't like is that we have and do things they can't. They could try to broom jump at their weddings but would look ridiculous. They can never say the n-word and convince folks they meant it in love. It's not believable when they "catch" the Holy Ghost in their churches. They can't rap either (Screw Eminem!). So what they do is demonize what they cannot do. I ain't mad at them for trying. 35:40. They doing everything to remain relevant to Original people. But for devils relevance is synonymous to colonization and in this present hisrtory or koran, that ain't going to happen.

It is important that we retain as much of the history and traditions that came through slavery as possible. Contrary to popular opinion, we aren't African. Haven't been in a long time. Africans will tell you that we aren't African. I don't even call or consider myself and African-American. I'm an American, Damnit. Like it or not. Slavery is what we have. And yes, it is painful for some to remember how we were mistreated by the devil, but is equally important to keep that in mind so that we don't fall for the okie doke a second time.

You feel me?


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

What will you do with your Light?

Peace Y'all.

Today, the Wisdom Knowledge day, marks the Winter solstice. For some the winter solstice is a spooky event. I did the knowledge to a few, of many celebrations that are held near this time of year and they all held a similar thread. Folks were afraid that if they didn't 'do' something to mark the solstice, the sun would not return.

Now in 2010, we know that the winter solstice marks the shortest appearance of the sun in a given rotation. It's not even the same day all over the planet. In Australia it's in June. But as the 14:40 says the 85% are hard headed (easily led in the wrong direction hard to be led in the right direction) and the 9:40 says that the 85% won't let the 5% teach them, so they observe these spooky holidays this time of year.

In defense of the solstice, it is an actually astrological event. Due to the Earth's elliptical orbit and her 23.5* tilt, this date marks the date when the Sun shines the least on the particular hemisphere (it's different from north to south).

So many builds can come from that concept. I could say that it represents how women can be fearful that men won't return when they go out to buy a pack of cigarettes. To make sure that they always return they are willing to put up with any type of behavior just to have a chance at some light. I could build that way, but I won't.

I could say that the 23* degree tilt coincides with the God degree of the 1-10. Saying that the Sun works the 23* on the planet, the same way the God works his Queen and Seeds. I won't say that either.

I could say in relationships there is a constant waning and waxing of situations and emotions. There are warm currents and there are cold currents. And just as the Sun sheds his light heavy in certain parts of the Earth at certain times and less at others, The Sun never stops shining and will always come full circle and do it again. The easiest way to renew a circular history is with 1 step. It just keeps coming doesn't it?

I recognize that people like to party. It's innate. They look for any reason to get down. I also realize that most of the world has bought into the okie doke. So they tie foolishness in with their partying. I guess people don't realize that you can party when you want. You don't need a special occasion to build with the people you love. But I do recognize that life can get a little boring without something to look forward too.

Allah's 5% Nation of Gods and Earth does not recognize a higher power than the Black man. And Unless your bornday is December 25th then folks in your cipher probably won't be having any major celebrations.

My cee on it is.... The solstices and equinoxes are legitimate/provable holidays/observance/whatever, that can remind all of us of the special relationship between the Sun and the Earth. That The Earth is the only planet in the solar system that we know of that can support life and does. That we need the Sun for sustenance and the Sun needs us to born his understanding. It ain't nothing but love here.

I will strive to be nice to the God this evening. And allow him to shower me with his... ahem... light and return to him my warmth. It ain't easy. I can be obstinate. Luckily there isn't any football on this evening, but damn if basketball ain't all consuming. We shall see.




I don't have children. Folks tell me that I should not have opinions on child raising because of that fact. If you feel that way, move on to the next blog. This one is loaded with my opinion.

When I was in high school, an after school part time job. Not because I needed to contribute to the family's finances but because everyone had a one and I wanted to be able to obtain my own stuff without asking my parents. If you have to ask for something then they get to censor it or give you their opinion. My parent's weren't rich either. Daddy got rich after we got grown and he didn't live with us. Mommie was a teacher. We did alright. I despise people who feel like children OUGHT to contribute financially to the household. Is that why you had them?

Now I'm not saying that I didn't have responsibilities. I had chores. I never received an allowance... EVER. And I had to pay rent. $10/week. That was more for gas than for rent. I got off work at 9:30-10ish and she didn't like me catching the bus home. Said it wasn't safe. And it wasn't. Whenever I would have troubles at work, Mommie would give me guidance, but she'd also remind me, that I was working because I wanted too and not because I had too. She was right then too.

I had a friend who I was cool with before KOS that used to call me lazy and spoiled. She was raised in the projects on assistance. I'm assuming that has clouded her world view. Also I met her in church am I'm certain that she thought that she could talk to me like that since I was a good Christian and shit. She couldn't. I powerfully hurt her feelings and slept very well that night. The nerve.... Calling me lazy and spoiled while I worked 3 jobs to pay for my wedding (1 full 2 part time).

Her reasoning behind that, was that I was living at home and not paying my mother rent. I didn't see that that was her business. But the outrage in her demeanor led me to question her while she cried after I went off on her. She said that I owed it to my mother to contribute to the household. Yeah, I was grown. And I had lived on my own for 6 years before moving back in with her. But, I was working toward a goal and she was in agreement with said goal. This was her gift to me. And my mother ain't broke and does not need me to give her my gold. Hell, because of investments, social security and pension, today she makes more retired than I make working. And I ain't mad at that.

Old girl then regaled me with a tale of a 15 year old chick that went straight to a beauty salon after school and worked there braiding heads Tuesday-Friday and all day on Saturday. She took in under the table work on Sundays and Mondays. Basically she worked non-stop. All this to help her mother pay the mortgage. WTF? If I needed my adolescent children to help me pay a mortgage, perhaps I don't need a mortgage. Maybe rent is sufficient. I bet at 15 that same chick is told when to come home, who she can see and cannot see and a bunch of different rules that someone who is chipping in on a mortgage usually doesn't have to abide by.

At 15, she should be focused on school and extra curricular activities. You cannot convince me with all that work she did, that she was proficient in her schoolwork or had the appropriate social life. When did she find time to learn basic yet important lessons that if not properly learned will cause an ass of grief in the long run? Maybe she is still stunted and that was 12 years ago.

I also remember friends who at age 18, whether they were done with high school or not, their parents would put them out the house. That shit is crazy. I can see if you are 18 years old acting a fool, but good children just tossed out like trash and told to make their way in the world? That's some bullshit right there! I really can't see why a parent would do this. But I know plenty of parents that did and children this happened to.

I used to work with this woman who had 1 child. A daughter. And she had a calendar where she was marking off the days until she could legally kick this chick out of the house. I initially thought the daughter was a problem child. But she said no. Good grades, obedient, no boys. I was like then why do you want her out of the house? She said because she will be 18 and that's all the legal responsibility she had to her. I saw this same lady decades later. Her husband had returned tot he essence and she was elderly living in an old folks home with my grandmother. You know, the come and go type. She recognized me 1st. And after some hugs and hellos (she had always been really nice to me, but she could have been checking off the days until I went back to college) I asked her about her daughter. She said she rarely hears from the child. She seemed hurt. I don't know why. This is what she wanted.

My mother IS and has ALWAYS been crazy, but I also know she'd give me a kidney if she didn't have diabetes or my brother didn't need it 1st. Yeah, me and her don't speak like mothers and daughter can, but if she needs me, she knows I'm there. And I suppose vice versa, unless I'm in jail. She'd leave me to rot in a holding cell. She might not have been the most affectionate of parents and might not have done all the things I may have wanted, but she raised/parented me. Might have been a little rough (I still don't think it's cool to punch a little girl in the chest when she is crying and tell her to man up), but I am standing on my own square when I have seen, less topple others. And if I needed to crash at her pad today, she'd let me. Oh, she would talk much trash to my face and behind my back. She would annoy the bejesus out of me, but at the end of the day, I wouldn't be homeless.

Childhood should be a time for learning, but also for fun and self-realization. I think it's terrible for parents to impose things on their children that isn't necessarily beneficial for them. Like the Michael Jackson song, Starting Something says, "If you can't feed your baby(yeah yeah), then don't have a baby (yeah yeah). And don't think maybe (yeah yeah), if you can't feed your baby (yeah yeah)...."


Monday, December 20, 2010


Peace Y'all,

The previous post got me thinking.... A lot of people have issues with my blogs. I have been accused of writing about people in my blogs. I have been blogging for over 7 years and I really don't know what people expect. It's not the blogging that they have issues with, they all assume I'm talking about them. Well.... So what?

Folks who blog, blog about issues and people in their lives. I'm not shooting from the hip here. I follow and read a lot of other blogs. I see pictures of people's homes, hobbies, children, friends, spouses, food, etc. And y'all know a bit about me too. Y'all know I'm righteous, female, vegetarian, in a relationship with an anemic bear, have an evil boss and co-worker, I sew, cook, my mother is crazy, and so on... Bloggers ALWAYS drag those in their ciphers into the genre. I'm not posting pics of other people or calling specific names. I respect folks. But I do not live in a bubble. And I suspect even if I did, the bubble would bitch.

But it also calls more interesting details into play. Like I previously said, I have been blogging for years, months and days. Why is it only recently folks have issues? I suspect because said folks are new to my cipher. Ironically, these same people lives revolve around the same internet that I move in. I remember a blog I wrote on MySpace sometime ago where I referenced an interaction between me and a friend. I might have put more of her business in the street than she would have cared for, but I didn't call her name. Said friend subscribes to my blog and instantly recognized herself in it. She called me and we talked for a minute. Not a bad conversation but an informative one. We are still friends. And it wasn't a bad blog, nor was it about me judging her for anything. It was about how I felt in a given situation that she just happened to be in as well.

My question is this... Why do people even think they have the right to question me on blog content? I can write what I want. I can see if I misquote a degree or make a typo, that people would make knowledge born. People do. But if you don't like my blogs, don't read them, post your objections or contact me personally if you know me. I didn't realize that this common sense logic would not be obvious to people. Especially Original people.

Blogs are slices of people's lives. My suggestion to those not wanting to ever appear in one, is to stop making friends. And since you cannot control anyone but yourself, end the friendships that you have and become an agoraphobe.

So go on people. Blog about me. I encourage you too! Send me an email to let me know about it. And i will show you how civilized people get down.!


House Earth Update!

Peace Y'all,

Well I just completed my week of House-Earthing and I must say, I was successful at my endeavor. How I define success, is that my house is clean to my satisfaction, and I'm not resentful.

I must admit, I didn't do all the prescribed chores on the prescribed days. i suspected that might happen and allowed myself some looseness. But I made up for it. And last night found me dusting after the rally so that I pronounce my home "clean". So what. It's done ain't it? It also freed me up to participate in my hobbies without guilt. I think by and large that is the best part.

And what I've learned from this little ongoing experiment is also applicable to the folks that constantly accuse me of writing about them in my blogs...


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

50's House Earth

Peace from the Regular East!

12 years ago, when I was a newlywed, My late husband and I agreed that which ever of us cooked (he could cook, but was VERY messy) the other would clean up after. Now as with any agreement, you know that there will be mitigating factors that could render that agreement null and void. I picked up a part time job that had me out of the house from 6 am to nearly 12am. He just had his regular 9-5. I saw that as a mitigating factor. Unfortunately, my husband didn't.

I came home from work at midnight one morning, and was informed that there were dishes in the sink to wash. I looked to verify. It was true. But I neither had the strength or inclination to wash them. He didn't even cook anything for me. But he was like, a deal is a deal. Emphatically Now Cipher! I just slept and did wardrobe changes there. I didn't have to even go in the kitchen. I made enough gold to eat out at will. And since he was being so stank, I stopped buying groceries. I figured if he ran out of food he would stop messing up the kitchen. Also, since he was so fastidious about so many things, I assumed he would get tired of the filth and clean up HIS OWN mess. I watched him go from eating off plates, to bowls, to saucers to tea cups to napkins. He stood his ground and so did I.

I didn't have to work the second job on Fridays and got home around 6-ish. Except this particular Friday I had a meeting at the church. When I got to the house around 9-ish, there were no parking spaces available. That was indicative of someone having company since most of my neighbors had driveways. When I looked up to where our apartment window was, I saw that it was US that had company. I got to the top of the stairs (we rented the 2nd floor in a BIG assed house) and realized that every single one of my in-laws was in my house. I looked at the door to the kitchen and could see the light on. Dread washed over me. At that moment, my mother-in-law emerged through said door and smiled at me and waved me over. She whispered in my ear, "I took care of that little problem in your kitchen." The horror! I was speechless but tried to come up with some bullshit that she was going to accept. I knew telling her that her son was responsible was not going to fly. Even though we were cool, her son was the apple of her eye and could do no wrong. She then gave me a bit of advice that I use to this day.....

"Honey, I know you young people have to work these days, but IF YOU DO A LITTLE BIT EACH DAY, IT ALL GETS DONE."

I love a clean house and generally keep one. The way that used to work for me was to block off unused rooms and cook very little. The only rooms that got used regularly were my bathroom, bedroom and to a small degree kitchen and den. I could clean the kitchen when I was done with it and swifter the floor. Seriously, I had empty rooms! So for me to clean the house and have it sparkling didn't take that much of an effort and could be done quickly one morning of a weekend. Well.... I now live with a bear. And this bear lives all over the house. I can't get it together like I used to. Now I cook... REAL MEALS.. every night when I get home from work. And the washing machine is on every few days when it used to be on twice a month. I have fallen way behind in my duty to keep my home. I need a plan....

I'm a avid blog reader. And I have noticed a trend with the blogs I frequent. The 50's housewife experiments. This interest is probably peaked from Mad Men, no doubt. Plus I do a lot of vintage blogs. MM makes that time seem idyllic for white people. What that is, is these women will treat there husbands and their homes like wives would have done in the 50's. Yes, all of the blogs that I have read where these women have done this were white, so I'm thinking that white women in the 50's had different lives from Black women in the 50's. But I feel the premise is the same, and I will do this for a minute and make the essential changes but try to keep the essence of the challenge. Y'all know I like a challenge.

What I have been able to gather about the lifestyle of a 50's housewife from blogs, articles, TV and old people is that back in the 50's a woman did EVERY-DAMN-THING in the house. A man went to work and that's it. He put in an 8 hour day and for that he was rewarded with dinner, a martini, a clean home and dutiful children named Kitty, Wally and The Beaver. He might have to do a weekly yard bid, but other than that a man's life was gravy.

My mother tells me about my grandmother. How she never worked. But she was able to get that laundry hung before the sun rose for 4 people every Monday. She didn't have a washing machine so she was out in the dead of morning, firing up a big pot, washing clothes by hand, with the soap she made herself (I wonder when she found time to do that since she never worked?), and getting them hung. Then going back in the house to make breakfast and lunches for her family before she went out to tend the hogs on the hog farm that my grandfather kept. Hogs was a side gig for my grandfather Who only looked after them when there was a problem or during selling or slaughtering time. The day to day care came from MaMa. Then she tended a 'garden' that was the size of the plot that my house sits on, and had lunch and dinner ready for folks when they got home from the field and school. Every meal they ate she grew, cooked and possibly helped kill, and the house was always clean and perfect. But she never worked.

One of the 50's housewife strategies was to develop a routine for chores. I recognize that I will not get it all done in a day. So that works out well for me. I used a common routine from the 50's of how them housewives got down. Here is the tentative list. I will tweak it until it works for me.
Sunday........ Dust
Monday........ Litter
Tuesday....... Vacuum
Wednesday... Bathrooms
Thursday...... Grocery shopping and meal planning for the week
Friday.......... Laundry
Saturday...... Mop, change sheets
Everyday...... Pick up, cook, tend the plants, wind the clock, trash

Monthly Chores (I do this 1/month)
Sweep the stairs
Change the Litter
Clean The Refrigerator
Polish the silver

Change the filter in the furnaces (depending on usage)
Wash windows
Changed external bedding
Change batteries in smoke detectors
Redecorate according to season

I started this challenge on Monday. So I'm only 3 days into things. I recognize that I am not being the ideal 50's housewife because I'm working. Bad Serenity! So I can't meet the God with a martini and dinner at the door. I also don't cook him breakfast of make his lunch. I'm a Black 50's housewife. Machete improvise. I do make my own lunch, though. I did litter on Monday, and vacuumed last night. I picked up all over the house and cooked a meal from scratch. We are vegetarians and I made smothered chick-un seitan (60 minutes on the stove alone!) mashed potatoes (from scratch) and calaloo. I cheated with the calaloo and made that from a can. But I had to have veggies on the plate. All of it was vegan. I still struggle back and forth with the vegan-vegetarian thing. I want to get us in the habit of taking our meals together at the table. The bear is resisting. (Help me out folks by sending the encouraging comment for that one!) I cheated a bit and started my laundry. That was more out of necessity than just trying to be contrary. I will put the laundry away on Friday. By next Monday I should have a shiny clean and perfect house, at least on the inside. (I can see I'm going to hate Wednesdays) The Bear can do the outside.

I made the apron in the picture maybe 6 years ago? I must have always had a little 50's housewife in me. I am going to stay mindful of the challenge by wearing the apron when I'm getting my housewife on. Maybe the 1st thing I need to do is iron it?

Wish me luck!


Friday, December 10, 2010



I hate my job.

It's true. It is beneath my abilities. I have a crazy coworker. And my male boss is going through menopause.

I should leave.

I know this, but I have not been able to find anything else. And I have grown woman bills. I Just can't walk out. So I close my mouth, do what is outlined in my job description and get the hell out of here as soon as possible. It's a shame too. I have been working here for 6 years.

The boss is always looking for some reason to engage me. I normally I smile and nod and do the politically correct banter. I wanted to make a tidbit of knowledge born for him; that if he wanted to fire me, I wouldn't be angry. All I want is my letter of separation so that I won't have to wait on my unemployment. If I was unemployed I could get some health insurance through medicaid and food stamps. I wouldn't just linger on it. I'm too fancy for that.

Anywhoo.... We had a bit of a falling out. I took everything that was personal and took it home. My desk looks like it did on the 1st day I started working here. No proof that anyone works here. It looks like the spare server desk. I was so angered yesterday that while he was yelling at me... for being defensive while being yelled at... I had to recite degrees in my head to keep from punching him in the nose (such an easy target). When I got to the Knowledge degree of the 1-14, I paused. Yeah there a lot of degrees in front of that one. Bitch-assed mother fucker.

Why isn't the devil settled on the best part of the planet Earth?
Well what is my best part? My best part are my mental faculties, personality and such. Yeah I look good and got some good parts, but I am so much more and better than that. One of the things that pisses my devil boss off is, he can only control what I do while I'm here to some degree. He did get mad when I went 3/4ths, but that was 3 years ago and legally he can't do anything to me for renouncing Christianity for something else. This ain't no religious job. He has no control over my thoughts. Many times he has stated that he wants me to feel a certain way. Does that sound as ridiculous to anyone other than me? I do my job, I am polite, often friendly and I go home. For that I am paid. Case closed. You don't have the right to ask me to feel anything. As long as I do what I'm paid for, my feelings are my own.

So this is what I got from 120....

Because the Earth belongs to the Original man...
Yes it does. My feelings are shared with the God. No one else has no business expecting any parts of that. And knowing the devil is weak and wicked.... Yes and yes. There wouldn't be any peace among them.... And there isn't. This Earth hates that devil and if he was about to get get hit by a car, I wouldn't clear my throat. Now here is the part that caught my attention.... So he put them on the worst part... I would say that the worst part is that superficial fakeness that is given to people I either don't know or don't like. Pretty much my ass is available for you to kiss if I neither know or like you. So that's what the devil/boss gets. Superficial adherence to the job description that we have agreed upon when I started working here. That's it no more, no less. And the best part he preserved ever since he made it.... That's for my cipher peeps not his punk ass. The best part is in Arabia at the Holy city of Mecca.... I always see that to mean that which is in the core of me. Arabia is a country at the root. And Mecca is a city within said country. So that core of me at the root... my mental, my emotions, that which makes me other than a robot is that part I keep for my loved ones. THE COLORED MAN OR CAUCASIAN MAN IS THE DEVIL.... And don't you forget that! Arabia is in the far east... East in a lot of cultures and systems represents the direction of the mind. And is bordered by the Indian Ocean... A body of water (emotions) that experiences the warmest currents (pleasant feelings) of all the big oceans. On the South side... South is the direction of passion. And for some reason my degree has South and East capitalized. So I put more emphasis on the significance of the directions.

I would prefer for the God to keep me from the devil by earning all the gold we need. But I recognize the world doesn't work like that now a days. I am accustomed to a certain standard of living and I am over-educated. I have had the opportunity to be a 'stay at home wife' and I prefer to have a reason to leave the house. So I don't mind working. I just don't like that I am trapped in this situation.

Sigh.... So you know what I do in my spare time? So if you know of something in the metro Atlanta area... And I cannot make any less than 50K, (Like I said, I got a doctorate and grown woman bills) hit an Earth up!


Thursday, December 9, 2010



I was reading a post on my righteous brother blog ( the joys of customer service in the Black community. I feel like I gotta add on.

I'm not sure if this is some bullshit perpetuated on our people by our people or what? But I get real pissed when I do the right thing and the Black people in the cipher try to explain away their foolishness.

I live in a house. The household garbage comes on Mondays and Thursdays. The yard debris is taken on Tuesdays. The recycling on Wednesdays. Why is it when ever I have yard debris, I have to call them jokers to tell them it's out there? Even with that, they may or may not come when requested. That makes no damn sense to me. If I call and say that there is yard waste out there you come and get it. This morning, after 2 calls, I spoke with yet another person. She said that the reason they miss my house is because I put my debris in cans rather than bags. I have a copy of the paperwork in my wallet. yes I carry it around because I get bullshit like this all the damn time about my recycling. I read to her the passage that said that I could put my leaf debris in a can. She said that the cans had to be less than 40lbs. I said they are... and they are leaves in the cans not bricks. It ain't never going to be 40lbs. Also I pointed out that we leave the lids off so that people can see that it's leaves. These lazy asses mother jumpers just ain't coming through. I only have 2 cans and I'm not buying any more. I bought those cans to satisfy yard and household debris. Which means can't put my trash out because the cans are full. I shouldn't be forced to purchase paper bags for leaf collection. It is environmentally irresponsible (and probably not kosher) to buy bag after bag to dispose of leaves. I listened to her argument, pointed out the passage where it says I can use cans and suggested that her department do their jobs. She hung up, but I had her number. I just called back and placed a complaint against the entire department that chick in particular AND I faxed a copy over and put yet another copy in the mail.

I went to get my nails done on Tuesday. If you get your nails done long term, you know that them nail techs are always wanting you to spend your money on a new set. Which is way more expensive than a fill. I have had the pleasure of harassment from techs after just 2 weeks from a new set. I have been getting my nails done REGULARLY since 1993. I know myself to be the best knower of when I need a new set. Normally the techs do what you ask them to. But Tuesday I rolled up on a tech that was aggressively insisting that I get a new set. I told him not at this present time. Probably later. He got so angry, he raised up on me like he was going to fight me. I laughed, reached for the knife and stun gun. I was going to enjoy that shit. I'm stressed anyway and am looking for a way to release it. What? Unfortunately this chick got between us and said that he was refusing me service since I wasn't going to acquiesce to their recommendations. I left. But guess what? There is a nail solon on every corner. Sometimes 2. I went to the next salon, got my nails did, and went back tot he 1st salon. He saw me and said, "You came back for a full set?" I showed him my freshly done nails, smiled and gave him the finger from each hand. Then I left again. I never said a word.

Last time I paid my property taxes in person, I was a little miffed. I pay a LOT in taxes. I really can't see why. I know people with bigger houses on bigger lots that pay less. Also, a big chunk of property taxes go towards the public schools. I don't have any children. So I'm paying for.....? If I was old I would get a discount. If I had children in private school I would get a voucher. But me with no children, I have to pay. Anywho... I was in there bitching, but I was also in there writing a check. The CSR said to me, "It's your turn. Somebody paid for your education." Really? she gets to speak to me like this? I politely informed her that (a) I wasn't from GA so my education wasn't her business and (b) somebody did pay for my education. My mother! I went to private school ALL of my life. Then I got into her face and asked her for her response. She had nothing.

None of these offenses were perpetrated my devils. That gets a special post. But these are Original people doing there own people wrong. Y'all are SUPPOSED to pick up the trash, I was PAYING to get my nails done, I wasn't asking for anything for free. And I had paid the taxes. Don't get in my face after the fact! I bet if I was a shedevil, folks would be on better behavior and not make me have to deal with your bullshit. Bit I don't suffer in silence. Your ways and actions are dirty, I'm going to make knowledge born.


Wednesday, December 8, 2010

This Present History or Koran

Peace People,

I was building with this dude who came into the office today. He and I have history. Not romantic, but platonic. Last year he was a vegetarian for 3 months. You have to start somewhere. But he is a single man and it was hard for him to maintain, being a single and working all the time. Now he is back on his meat grind complete with the swine. He asked me how I managed to maintain so long and I had to laugh. If all I was a vegetarian then maybe I could see me having difficulty. I thought I should blog about it.

But then... Which blog to post it? The healthy blog? The righteous blog? The sewing blog? The socially responsible blog? All my blogs have different readers. So..... I'll hit y'all all up!

This is Serenity.... At this present history or Koran.

(1) I am a decade long vegetarian. I go in and out with veganism and raw food. I really don't think for me raw food is sustainable for long term consumption. I think it's better in the summer months than in the cooler ones. For one reason, I can't eat cold food in cold weather and vice versa. The way around that is in heated environments. I think I would like to be more raw and vegan, but cheese is a tricky dicky temptation. We shall see

(2) I don't wear pants. I stopped wearing pants 5 years ago. I felt like my feminine energy was being suppressed. I force myself to be more lady like by wearing skirts and dresses. And by George, it works. I am very lady like now. It has affected the way I walk and sit. That has in turn affected my mannerisms which in turn has affected my speech

(3) I rarely buy clothes new. I completed a year-long shopping fast, now I turn to the thrift store or better yet, my sewing machine for new clothes needs.

(4) I don't take medicine unless I see no other way, like I'd die without it. that extends to most vitamins. I rather get the nutrients through food or teas.

(5) I do most of my shopping for food at health food stores, farmers markets and specialty stores. Other stuff I need, I get from cheapo stores like Big lot or Maxway

(6) I recycle, re-use, and repurpose. So that means I don't buy plastic that I cannot reuse over and over and over and over.... I'm trying to do my part to save the planet. Not because I think the planet is incapable of saving herself, but people need to live in harmony with their surroundings and acknowledge that we have a responsibility to be good stewards of nature.

(7) I like to ball and have a balling cee on things. I can be that fabulous fly assed hippy Earth.

(8) No children. And I'm okay with that. If they come fine, if they don't that's fine too.

(9) I do yoga. Not as much as I'd like to because it's cold and I hate leaving the house when it's cold, but I'm going to get back there.

(10) I try not to wear anything but natural fibers. Everything else irritates my eczema. Unfortunately I have never seen a cotton bra. And I draw the line at making or thrifting lingerie. That gets store bought.

(11) I study all forms of spirituality. I really have a true affection for Hoodoo/Rootwork/Conjure. Since I'm righteous and don't fear retribution of a mystery god, I will do stuff just for fun. It's a hobby, I have been at if for years, months and days. You scared?

(12) My hair is loced. It took a minute for me to like it , but now I'm hooked and recommend it. Since I always wear a headwrap, I don't style it. I still love it though

(13) I really go all out with the 3/4ths thing. I rarely leave the house with out my head wrapped. If I do, it's by accident. Some chicks have asked to see my hair..... Why? Doesn't matter to me if your righteous or not, if your male or female.... I just don't show it. Eventually, my hair might be too long to keep from being wrapped fully. Wait on that day.

(14) I have a real bad temper. The dangerous part in that, is people think I'm a punk bitch. SMH. They usually try me and get more than they bargained for. I have no boundaries when fighting. I have been trying to reign it in since my father died. Daddy would never leave his baby girl to rot in jail. My mother, on the other hand, would.

(15) I used to smoke and drink. Not anymore. I stopped smoking because my father died from lung cancer. I stopped drinking because I didn't want to be drunk again. And I don't see the purpose of drinking if your not going to get your head smashed.

(16) I really get annoyed with people who say "I could be a vegetarian" or "I could be righteous." If you could be, and don't, clearly you can't. Stop claiming it.

(17) I'm a big girl and I'm not ashamed or apologetic. I'm big, Yes. But I bet I look better than the average thin chick on ANY given day.

(18) I suppose I'm conceited too. I don't care.

(19) I got this thing for vintage. Vintage clothes. Vintage recipes. Vintage activities. i have NO idea where this interest comes from and I'm just as shocked as folks around me.

(20) I won't buy a foreign car. New or old. I just can't bring myself to do it. I have had 4 cars in my adult life (1 in my adolescent life) and all of them were American made cars. It's just how I get down. And I have never had the drama folks put on American cars. Ain't like people who drive foreign cars never have problems with them. You have to car for them properly.

(21) I love my Nation so much! But I'm not a revolutionary. My cee on this Nation is it's a personal journey for each individual. I don't have to put myself out there and force folks to my side of the street. But I allow myself to be just visible enough for people to build with me if they choose. But I ain't running out to save the world.

I am a completely different person than I was 10 years ago. I expect to be a completely different person in 10 years so I'll be in the constant state of build and destroy. I'm actually looking forward to the new developments.


Friday, December 3, 2010


Peace Family

I subscribe to butt load of blogs. Nation, cooking, sewing, life and such. And one of my subscriptions posted a build on the new movie "Colored Girls..." by Tyler Perry. I saw the Original play, read the book and was on the fence about the movie. Tyler Perry has this Christian edge to his movies that I don't like. He's a big time now and doesn't need the ground support that I gave him when he was just getting started.

I suspected that this Original blog author was going clown the movie as Black men tend to do. But he didn't. I was shocked... pleasantly shocked. He said that women would leave this movie with a feeling of supportive sisterhood. Meaning that the movie reinforces the reliance of Black women on other Black women. But this is what he said that threw me. He said, and I'm paraphrasing, that this type of feeling would not lead to the reconciliation between Black men and the Black women.

I know there is a genre out there that makes Black men look bad. Movies and books like The Color Purple and Push/Precious shows Black men at there absolute worse. I have built with Black men why they take such issue with said movies and they say it is because they show them in such a poor light and it's usually at the hands of women that this is done. They feel betrayed by us. Some of the story should be kept hidden so the look good to the rest of the world. That's a load of crap. I see that as "hit dog will holler" syndrome. Black women are portrayed as whores, sluts and money grubbing bitches according to the Hip Hop industry. Women holler all day long for them to stop and they don't. Stop using the argument that only the good stories need to get out there.

I am an advocate that Black men and women need to come together. But it's not women preventing this. And it's not slavery either. I have noticed first in the Christian community now in the so-called conscious community, that when reconciliation is called for, all the sacrifices are asked of the women. Western Black women need to re-check their attitudes. Western Black women need to learn how to be submissive. Western Black women need to open up to polygamous relationships. Why is it all the sacrifices have to be made by the women?

Let me make a bit of knowledge born.... Western Black women still have options. And we know this. We have been holding things down for generations. You offer us nothing in exchange for these sacrifices. We are the most attractive women on this continent. We will still be in relationships and still make Original babies regardless to whether or not western Black men decide to partner with us permanently. So that so-called compromise is not going to work. With those being the only options, I have to ask if you even want it to work?

I'm not sure, but I don't think it's Black women that stopping the reconciliation. I don't think it's Black men either. I think we don't know what we want. We aren't clear of what makes a good functional relationship. We have bought too deeply in the American dream of lust, romance, affection and happily ever after. Those are fairy tales. In my mind, I compare this to the civil rights movement. Folks fought and died for the right to do the things white people did thinking that that would make them happy. It didn't. It wasn't and still isn't right and natural for us. The same principle is applicable to relationships.

I see nothing wrong with arranged marriages. Those folks don't go into the contract (and that's all it is) with the expectation of a fairy tale. They recognize that marriage/relationships are one of mutual respect and they aren't easy. I have been married and as much as I loved my late husband I had a plan to kill him and hide the body. But we had made a commitment that we would stay together. And we did. I now have that same type of commitment with the God. It ain't always easy. It ain't always gonna be easy, but we have agreed to be celestial.

So bring it to a forum, a round table discussion and underground movement. I'll be there taping it and putting it on YouTube.


PS: Here is the link to the Original Post....

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Me? A Racist?


I have been accused of being racist. That's funny. Me, and Original woman, living in the Wilderness of North America has been accused of being racist. Actually, that makes me a double minority!

What I find interesting is that people from all over the globe look down on American Black folks like they are the scum of the Earth. If we aren't athletes or rappers then we must all be stealing, drug using, prostituting, project living, uneducated drains on society. But I am a racist.

I'm told that perception is my race's own fault. That that's how we get down. Really? Do you know all of us? That logic implies that white people commit no crime. White people never do anything wrong? Y'all know that there are more white people on welfare than minorities. If it was just us, the government would cut it off. There are more Black men in college than in prison. Statistics can be skewed to support the view of the whoever paid for it. My Culture degree in the 1:10 says that there are 103 million white people in this country verses the Understanding degrees 19 million. That's about 5:1 white to Black. I'm thinking for Black people to commit the level of atrocities that we are blamed for, ALL of us need to be out there working hard at debauchery 24/7. But I am a racist.

I am cool and have been cool with many white people through out my life. I have had some to even save my life. But at the end of the day, I am reminded BY THEM that they are white and I am not. I had a dear friend who I used to go to school with. She and I spoke every day. I used to go to her home and share social equality with her family. That was not easy for me. She resided in a lily white area of Jersey and I had constant unwanted police escorts to and from her home. When I invited her to my wedding, she didn't come to the ceremony. She just giggled and asked if I really thought she would come to Paterson? But I am a racist.

A white man stood in the middle of the highway to protect me and my car from getting hit. Then made a power move to get me to let him come home with me at 2 am. Really? This man was a stranger, a kind stranger, but still a stranger yet and still. The police had to force him to leave me alone. But I am a racist.

As a professor I was insulted by a a student who thought that all Black people had no taste. And that I had to have had a ghetto wedding. When faced with the proof of the opulence of my special day, this child retreated by saying, "Well since I wasn't there, I can't be sure that it actually happened." Really? I would fake a video and pictures so that a white child with less education, less grooming could be impressed? But I am a racist.

I once went out with a group of white friends to a party. This was their party. They contracted with the location. They made the arrange met for food and alcohol. I was an invited guest. There were other white people there. As a matter of fact, most of the people there where white people. There were 3 Black people there. We always count and make eye contact when we are in small numbers like that. I do it just to make sure I have an alibi. Because according to white people, all Black people look alike. Those white people tore the place UP! UP! When the party was over, and the venue was a shambles. Who do you think got stopped on the way to the car? There were white people stumbling and falling on the ground, but the police came to our 3 cars and gave us breathalyzer tests. The owner of the spot ran over to us... and I will give him the benefit of the doubt... after all the police were near us.... and asked us who was going to pay for the damages. I politely answered, "The people who you contracted with." But I am a racist.

I'm racist because I prefer the company of people who are like me and know me and my predilections? I am racist because when I joke to a group of my peers, I'd prefer to not have to explain why it was funny? I am racist because my Nation calls white people devils? I am racist because I enjoy and maintain cultural mores? But when white people do the same thing they aren't racist? Then that tells me that white folks are the ones making those rules. And since I have my own rules, I'm not falling victim to other peoples. So... I cannot be racist.

I am pro-Serenity. I am pro-Precise. I am pro-Trinity. I am pro-NGE. I am pro-family. I am pro-self reliance. I am pro-personal safety And if you have a problem with that, that is your problem. You deal with it.


Monday, November 29, 2010



My 29:40 asks why was Yacub so successful in all his undertakings? that is a question that haunts me. I used to be very successful in anything I put my hand to, but now a days it seems I have had the opposite reaction.

One can ask why is Serenity so UN-successful in all her undertakings? I am going to put it on laziness. And loss of focus. But that's going to change.

Instead of being a jack of all trades and master of none I have decided to narrow my focus on things. Yes that will make me less open to things, but the things on my plate will gain a new level of clarity. Once I decide on what to keep and what to disregard I'm going to go hard at the keepers.

You may not notice the new levels of Serenity, especially if you don't know me personally. But trust this. I'm about to go all out. hold on if you can!


Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving


This holiday and the drama that surrounds it is really irritating my stomach. For some strange reason, I find myself surrounded by a lot of non-traditional people. Jews, Muslims, and so-called conscious people. I am thinking people only think they know what kind of holiday Thanksgiving is. Let me shed some clarity...

Thanksgiving is an American holiday. Not a religious holiday. There are a lot people who are ex patriots from other places. They come here and make this their home. But then refuse to celebrate Thanksgiving because they see it as a religious holiday. It isn't. It is a celebration re-enacting the party they had in 1621. Those Pilgrims came here and would have died had not the Native Americans intervened. That's what the holiday is about. Case Closed.

Now Christians, as usual, put their stank on it. They put their stank on everything here and no one challenges them. But anyone with eyes can see that it is a commemoration of an event near the founding of this country for white people. That does not make it a religious holiday. There is no St. Thanksgiving. There is no baby turkey in a manger. There is no resurrection of pumpkin pie. It's a day with food and football. Thanksgiving is ONLY offensive to Native Americans.

Now... Should you not choose to celebrate it, that's fine. Far be it for me to tell you how to handle your business. But actively and vocally choosing to pass on the day means that you are either Anti-American or a Native American. And the NA's are the ones who brought the turkey to the party. Maybe you have good reason to boycott. But don't give the excuse that it isn't your religion. That's a load of bull.

Enjoy the day off or the time and a half.


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

1 + 2 = Friendship?

Peace Good People,

Lately, it's been floating through the atmosphere, the appropriate relationship between men and women. Floating through the atmosphere for all intents and purposes of this writing refers to synchronicity. But I have read more than a few blogs and news articles citing that men and women cannot an should not be platonic friends. I beg to differ.

I am a woman who feels more comfortable in the presence a men. I was raised in a household where there was more testosterone than estrogen. And I am the baby. My brother and uncles used to have to take me on their rounds because my mother worked a lot. And since I am significant younger than the men in my home, they allowed themselves male freedoms around me, thinking that I was too young to understand. I might have been too young to understand, bit not too young to forget. I learned a lot about male mannerisms from the early men in my life and I even managed to internalize lots of it. Now I am told by several people that I have a 'male' response to a lot of stimuli.' I can see that.

Also I notice that when I am surrounded by women, I tend to get annoyed. I recognize women like to sort and analyze feelings, thongs said and unsaid. But I don't. I like to bottom line things so we can move on. I'm not saying that I don't have girly-like tendencies. Precise can bear witness to that fact. But I don't share social equality with any girly-girls. As a matter of fact, most of my female friends are like myself.

Precise often says that men and women can't be friends because eventually the man wants to have sex with the woman and that fouls things up. That's why different culture limit the interactions between men and women. For the woman's safety. The God has no sisters and was socialized in a home with a father (male) a brother (male) and the only lone lady in the house.... Mama. He has also reported that he has never had a long term friendship with a woman that he never had sex with. I can see that.

The issue as I see it is the question of boundaries. Everybody has them male and female. And everyone has to maintain said boundaries, male and female.

I have a dear female friend who is a huge slut. Since she can't fuck me I don't see the problem with being her friend. Folks that know me, know that I'm not a ho. So I don't fall victim to that "ho by association" thing. But do you think I will allow her to come near my man? HELL NO! I never went out on any of the blind dates she ever tried to set me up with either. I never judged he for her whoreishness. She is a grown woman who is cognizant of what she is doing. She loves the Divine I Cee King and I ain't mad at her for it. Boundary = Can't come near my man.

I have a female cousin and also a sister in law who is notoriously bad with money. They have sob stories that will bring tears to you eyes. But they never pay you back. Sometimes they pay you back with a bad check that bounces. I have witnessed both of them stealing and/or shoplifting. They have the money sickness. Yet still I love them. But I won't give either one of them chicks a quarter. Nor will I give it to their babies because they have been trained to beg. Boundary = Lend no money

Yet another of my female friends is a champion on home maintenance. She works 2 jobs, has 5 babies, a husband, and cooks for indigent people in her neighborhood. her home is immaculate with all these people in her home. She is a resource and inspiration for me. But she whines. I can only speak with her in snatches. Boundary = whiner!

Now I'm a do me. My friends no that once I consider them friends I will go all out for them, not including their specific boundary. Seriously, I have lent money, baby sat ill mannered children for weeks at a time, taken and picked folks up from the airport at ridiculous hours of morning. I will do what they need, but.... I won't be shitted on. Dis me one time and your over. I have not a problem saying goodbye to folks and keeping it moving. One of my friends actually had to beg to get back in my good graces, and they weren't all that good. But I was touched by the intensity of how much she wanted to maintain our friendship. Be frigging honest with your intentions. And don't you EVER let me catch you speaking out the other side of you mouth to someone. That won't work out for you at all.

So if I have boundaries with my women friends, why would it be so hard to maintain boundaries with my male friends? Okay, if I know that you would be amenable to tapping my ass, then we won't get into those situations. Doesn't bother me that men imagine themselves screwing me. It's natural. I imagine myself with most men's money and possessions. And I expect a man that I am in the company to protect me... regardless of whom or what. Is that bad? Like I said, it's natural. I have a 20+ year friend that I'm certain would screw me if given an inkling. I have berated him so much in that arena that we can sleep in the bed together and nothing happens. I don't tempt fate by sleeping undressed, though.... BOUNDARIES.

I really believe that women love gay men and seek their friendships because it is a way for them to engage in a friendship with men without worrying about anything. It is the perfect arrangement is it not? I don't want the men they want and if my man wants a gay man he is not the one for me. And most gay men can really fight. Especially if they haven't begun hormones. How is that for protection. Yes, perfection. Bu the polar opposite doesn't work. For some reason, in my observation, straight Original men don't like homosexuality in any incarnation. If a woman is gay, she's not going to have a crap load of male friends. I wonder why this is? A man's reaction to a gay woman is to rape her. That I don't get.

Women who have male friends are not potential whores. And to the men... I know this will be hard for you to accept... but all women don't want you. There are women that look at you AND your possessions and feel nothing. Men with female friends are not all gay. I bear witness that platonic friendships are possible and function between men and women. You just have to maintain your boundaries.


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Faith and Ignorance


This morning on my commute to work, I got into a religious conversation with this dude I carpool with. He knows I'm a 5%er and I know he is a minister. (No the kind that has a church, but the kind that serves under another) He and I have found an easy comfort with tolerance for each others lifestyles. He is impressed with the amount of Bible and my 1 of Christianity. I have always maintained that when I was savage, I was a very knowledgeable savage. I try not to let the conversation go too far in either direction. Well this morning it did.

When I was a Christian, I attended church like crazy, but I also attended Christian and Catholic schools. Anyone who has ever attended either KNOWS the the primary goals of said institutions is to turn out good Christians. There was intense indoctrination... I mean classes regarding the tenets of faith. I have often wondered how could any one be a good Christian without all the intense focus.

I had a Religion teacher in the 10th grade, Fr Bradley, who told me it was ok for me to have doubts. He said those doubts would lead me to do my own research and that would always bring me back to God. He was right. Teehee. See? Devils can speak the truth. I had another teacher confirm that sin is anything that goes against your conscience. Can you imagine how freeing those particular bits of advice were? It has always allowed me the freedom to not be afraid to explore and experiment.

Anywho... Me and the friend got to talking about the virgin birth and the resurrection. And I told him that I never bought into those two beliefs. To me they seemed like a ploy to make the Christian God look better than any of the other Gods that were being worshiped at the time. I was more impressed that Jesus took an ass-whipping for folks he didn't know, who might have not been born yet all while being the Son of god. He could, theoretically, at anytime gotten up and bounced. I wish folks would read their Bibles with some objectivity they would see that Jesus never came to bring salvation to the gentiles. He came to reform the Jews. He didn't care one way or the other whether gentiles caught his words. Yeah, he shared social equality with them, but who exclusively builds within their own group?

Jews have never disputed the existence of "other" gods. They just claim that their god is the best. The early Christian movement was not about converting the gentiles to Christianity. Christianity is not even a term they used. The disciples that walked with our righteous brother in the physical, had no intention of starting a NEW religion. There was nothing wrong with there old one. In fact there were insisting that gentiles who wanted to get on board covert to Judaism. It was Paul who argued against that rule. Paul knew that grown gentile men would have a problem with being circumcised... and they should. Paul and Peter actually argued about this. And Peter won... briefly. Peter was left in charge of the official movement (making him the 1st pope) until he was martyred. This didn't stop Paul. He started his own churches (epistles). And eventually these gentiles out numbered the Jews and BOOM you have Christianity.

My carpooler could not dispute any of this. I was pulling out scripture out of my ass. It kind of felt good to show and prove this with his own Bible. He countered me with something I could not fight..... Faith. The substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen. Faith trumps proof every time. Because faith doesn't need anything for it to be real for the people that have it. He said that he doesn't allow himself to believe anything that goes against what he has already set in his mind. He said I allowed outside things to interfere with my faith and that's why I lost it. He prays for me daily. I had nothing.

I had nothing because there was nothing to be said. This is a grown assed 50 something year old man, that would probably kick my ass rather than to look at his Bible in a critical way. Yes, I showed him in his own Bible where I based my information on, but he was unwilling to accept it. And why? Because he believes that faith is it's own reward. WOW... this is why Christianity is the big money maker it is now a days. It's sells NOTHING to the masses and in turn the masses reward it with 10% sometimes more of their salary.

I suppose I shall wait to see if we will still carpool. I must say I am disappointed. Disappointed because nothing this grown man will ever say to me will hold any water since I bear witness that he needs no proof to lay his life down for something. I would be a 10%er if I used that to my advantage.


Monday, November 22, 2010

Babies Only

I'm pissed people.

Not at any particular person. Just in general. Let me go on to explain....

I live in this world. For the most part I have lived in this world solo. I don't have any children, a bad and inconsistent relationship with my family and a lot of close relatives are dead. It seems that after a certain point in life, holidays are no longer be about an individual but about babies. That's stupid. Not everyone has babies, or even wants them. But if you don't have babies, things like holidays and many social organizations find you usless. That is, unless you want to labor for other people's babies.

I recognize that 'it takes a village to raise a child.' But that statement alone implies that people serve different roles... And should. Yes you have the teacher that recognizes your potential and takes steps to further you along your journey. But that same teach does not have to provide food clothing and shelter for you. Yes there may be a special extended relative that teaches you hsi trade. But he isn't responsible for paying your way through college. Maybe there was someone form the block that looked out for you and kept you from getting beat up. That same person is not expected to leave you money in their will. BOUNDARIES PEOPLE!

I am not anti-children. Seriously. I love children. But my love for a child is not like a parent's love for their child and it shouldn't be. My Nation is big on the babies. Babies are the greatest! And I ain't mad. I'm willing to put in the work in to leave a legacy for the babies. But does that mean I want to inundated with other people's children? No. I'm not ashamed to say that. And I say No for many reasons. The bottom line is I don't want to. Nor should I want to. Being a "mother of civilization" is not the same as being a "mother to a civilization." Example... I own a house. I don't see people who don't live in houses coming over to the rest to aid me in the maintenance, or pay any of the bills. No one has ever asked. The only people who assist in the maintenance of my home are the people who live there or have a vested interest.

Years ago my co-worker lost his wife. He has 2 children. I was very supportive of him when his wife died. But those children aren't mine. I don't owe them anything.He makes way more money than I do. And those children receive SS from his deceased wife and their 2 homes were paid off with the accidental death insurance. I would be a damn fool to come out of pocket for his children. His daughter went as far to tell me what she wanted me to purchase for her for Christmas. I politely explained to her that I wasn't getting her anything. Yeah, she was angry, but she got over it.

Another co-worker of mine daughter graduated from high school a few years ago. Now I'm sure y'all are not unfamiliar with having a co-worker that takes very little for you to break the law and do them harm? This co-worker is that type of chick. She posted her daughter's graduation invitation on the bulletin board. It hurts me to say hi and bye to this chick, why would I buy her daughter a graduation present? This woman actually got angry with me. I heard her 18 year old daughter expaining that I was under no responsibility to purchase her a gift.... And a small child shall lead them.

Now the holidays are rolling around. Ok. And this year I don't have to spend them solo. Cool. But lets be real,these holidays as are most holidays all about children. Oh, they say it's about family, but do the knowledge, who are the ones that benefit from all the activity? Who gets new clothes, new toys and who are the ones have all the fun? The children. Who does all the work paying for it, cooking food and hustling to get everything together? Now I don't want you think I'm mad about that. I loved the holidays when I was a child. I appreciate the effortthe old people put in to make them memorable. And as an adult, I'm glad that I made the holidays relevant for my parents. But as an adult, with no children, and no desire to spend my gold on other people's children, I find holidays useless.

Also I wonder why does it take something to prompt people into doing something nice for people or visiting their families? If I wanted to see my mother and eat with her, I could do that anytime. I don't have to wait for a special occasion. If I want to get the God a gift, I could do that any time as well. I don't have to wait for something special. If I had children, why would I wait until the end of the year to lavish gifts on them? What's wrong with March or August?

The God and I were having a conversation about exactly what we were going to celebrate not just for the impending days but for the days to come. What were we going to pass on to the babies that doesn't seem like a mockery of our culture. We don't celebrate Christmas, Ramadan or Chanukah. Our babies will have to get over the fact that their savage contemporaries are going to have a free for all and they aren't. But that doesn't mean they will be left wanting for stuff. They will get it. Just not for no reason.

We are considering celebrating, instead of observing Kwanzaa. If we do, we will personalize it, but keep it similar enough for folks to recognize it. Instead of using the Swahili terms for the principles, we will use English, since that's what we speak. The principles will be discussed in context to that day's Supreme Mathematics. We will change the last principle, since we don't do 'faith.' We won't be dressing in African garb. Since I already have the stuff, I will put that up and burn the candles. Maybe I can convince the 7 to paint a Universal on the kinara I already have. We will have a meal every night together and exhange small gifts. We'll see how we like it. B.U.T. as I browze the internet what do I find? A whole bunch of activities for children and very little for adults.

I see why this time of year people tend to commit suicide. If you are alone and do not wish to be, this time of year is UNPLEASANT. Take it from me. I've run through that desert.

I remember after my 1st husband died, the church that we attended was having all these family activities. Simply because I was a solo individual meant that I could not participate in these events. I was okay with that, but the church was trying hard to keep me distracted. I didn't ask for that. They said I could work the events rather than enjoy them. Really? That church went as far to exclude me from several of their events. Seeing me alone was bringing them down. Then I was told that I had to marry any old man (seriously, it was any old single penis possessor) because it was 'unsafe' having a single woman around. Do I need to tell you that that was not the church I was attending when I let Christianity go? I may have been a savage Christian, but I wasn't a fool.

People need to stop behaving like everyone has this internal responsibility to give their all for children that aren't theirs.


Friday, November 19, 2010



Within our Nation we always have issues that never really go away. The question of Earths. Mecca. The mythology of the the Father. And how should we interact with the devil. I suppose the reason these issues never really go away is because as time changes the perspective on these issues change. Women are way more liberated and have more options than we did in the late 60's early 70's. As the date of the father's assassination gets further and further away, there won't be folks to bare witness that he actually existed and can give real life testimony to how he did in the physical. And white people.... It is more common now a days for Original people to have shared regular social equality with devils so the perspective is different than when T.H.E.M. authored the degree.

But I ain't the one. I don't trust devils and I do not wish to share my social equality with them. I get enough of them jokers when I am outside of the kingdom. That is something good I learned from my mother. Never to trust the devil. She never willingly invited them into our home. NEVER. But sometimes they would invite themselves. Should that happen, Mommie wasn't overtly blunt and said, "Get the hell out", but they got the message and bounced. She didn't play that and neither do I. My late husband lost his job, not because he did a poor job, but because he bragged on our possessions and lifestyle. Them devils he worked with as much as joked with him when they let him go to the tune of, "Well what are you going to do now?" We had just bought a house!

The Born degree of the 1:14 implies that the devil can be rehabilitated. Hmmm... Rehabilitate is an interesting word. Oxford describes it as restoring effectiveness of normal life by training after illness or imprisonment; or restore privileges or reputation or proper condition. Essentially one that has fallen off (devil) can get restored. And buy falling off, I mean they are as debased as can be imaginable. And there is all kinds of proof that the devil is nasty. All of the rules in the Torah and all the restrictive rules of Islam. And lets not forget they have more WBC's than Original people.The premise behind rehabilitation could lead you to say since they fell off once, what's stopping them from falling off again?

I suppose the devil can labor 35-50 years to TRY to do like the Original man. That way he can come amongst us and we won't kill him as quickly. I think folks misunderstand this degree. WE need to take charge of the process of adjusting these devils so that they can share our social equality. Not just take their words on face value that they are 'cool' with Original people. Devils need to show and prove that they are cleaned up and intend to stay cleaned up before we get all cookie crunch with them.

Later on in the degree it state should they f up the relationship with us, their heads should be taken off by sword. Their heads, not their hands or feet. Not their genitals. Their heads. You know why. Because should someone sever your head from your body, you won't survive that. It is a definitive way to end a relationship. There is no re-attachment or resuscitation. It's over and done with.

I am a self confessed executioner. Should someone piss me off, they are gone. Never to return. I can close a door like no one else. I've have been told that it's the nature of a Scorpio. Oh well. Gone is gone, dead is dead, ex is ex. No backsies. I might relent with my physical fam, but not really. I have relatives that KNOW they can't borrow money or stay in my house.

What kills me is how quickly we allow the devil within our interior and let them in on the secrets. But when they are shown and proven to have revealed the secret, they get off with a light slap. Then the wronged parties remark, "Well they are the devil. Can't be mad with them for being true to their nature." Yes you can! In particularly the ones who you have allowed to come close to the fire. Those jokers need their heads cut off.


Thursday, November 18, 2010


Peace Family...

The Holidays are almost upon us. I always have issues on the holidays. They never go right for me. Part of the reason is because I have a severely dysfunctional family. Maybe all families are dysfunctional and I just don't know it. I always seem to spend the holidays with my own people. And frankly, I'm comparing them to the people I see on TV.

There was one Thanksgiving, not too long ago, where in just that one day, I found out that (1) my brother had an illegitamite child, (2) my baby cousin (aged 25) had been in jail, (3) my cousin and her husband were swingers and (4) my father MAY have raped my mother which caused me to be conceived. DAMN. I had the WTF look on my face the whole day. I couldn't take it. I bounced early and drove 4 hours home. My mother was offended because I was supposed to stay with her for the weekend. But I was afraid of what else I was to learn about my people. And I can always tell when my mother has purchased me an expensive gift. She gives me her entire ass to kiss; which I won't, then she takes her gift back. Yeah... the holidays aren't good to me.

This year's holiday will be the 1st spent with the God. I mean we were together last Christmas, but it doesn't really count because no one came but us. And we don't even celebrate Christmas. We went for better homes and gardens. My mother had run all the people away and my religious relatives aren't speaking to me since I let go of Jesus. One of the reasons why folks don't like sharing holiday social equality with my mother is because she is too bossy. She wants to eat dinner at 12, and folks out and her house cleaned up by 4. She doesn't allow folks to take plates, and if you bring people, they better make decent contributions or she will talk hashly about and to them. A good thing about my mother is she takes no shorts and she will give it to you raw. The bad thing is she no longer edits, and you can't stop her.

So those are my experiences, thus far. The thing is I don't know how I as a righteous person feel about Thanksgiving. I know it is not an Original holiday. There aren't any that I can think of off the top of my head that are outside our Nation. And even Nation days aren't celebrated like holidays. I like the getting together of my people, I like the food, and I LOVE that it's a paid holiday. I deserve it, and I ain't giving the money back. But I am not a pilgrim nor am I Native American. I'm not decended from either. So I have no vested interest in the holiday other than getting paid. I can cook food and eat anytime I choose. The God is descended from Native Americans, but he has no real interest or animosity in the holiday either. People have actually said to me that they didn't know that we observed the holiday.


My mother is coming to town. She was invited to spend the holiday with my god-sister. We weren't. But now we are. ***sigh*** SMH.... I'm thinking in the future, the holidays will be a big NO. But the cool part about the holidays is Both Thanksgiving and Christmas fall near the last Sunday of the month. I always strive to have a big dinner after a rally. Big enough to invite folks if we are so inclined. It's a way to celebrate who and what we are. And you just feel good after being amongst the righteous people. That should be celebrated with food! Especially since we don't have any other vices like alcohol and smoking. Here in Allah's Garden, there isn't always food on site at the rallies. I get the fors and I also get the againsts. When there is food we share in it and when there isn't we come home and fill up there.

So hopefully in the future when we have a family, they don't feel so left out of the holiday festivites (not that I will care). We will build with the families and keep it respectful, yet we will always be honest about the science behind things.

So tell me non-Christians and such.... How are y'all planning to negotiate the holidays?


Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Thank you for Letting Me be Myself


I had a relatively long conversation with a patient in the office today. He wrote a book about the Negro national Anthem, Lift Every Voice and Sing. It wasn't a pretty book praising James Weldon Johnson. It was actually an expose on the song.

Many Black people hold this song near and dear. Not all Black people. I have seen those who can't sing it without the words and I know others Black people who were ignorant to the fact that there was even a Black National Anthem. So I realize that there are folks out there who this may not be their cup of tea. But to be perfectly honest there are Americans across the racial lines who don't know the National anthem or think that it is America the Beautiful. SMH.

Anyway.... His book is a criticism of the BNA. Hmmm... I have read only excerpts of the book but I am impressed that a 49 year old Black man feels confident enough to criticize one of the long held Black-isms for our people. He's reported that the Black people who have read the book are angry about his viewpoint. I don't think that's fair. Is he not entitled to say and say publicly how he feels? Maybe criticism is the wrong term. Maybe 'question' is better. He opinion is that it is not just a song for Black people, but that it is a song for all people. He says by calling it the BNA, it separates us from white people. The author (has a PhD and is a college professor for music) has researched the song for the last 20 years and he has found no evidence (or hasn't been able to show and prove) that this song was only intended to be used for Black people. That has pissed off a lot of people.

This being election time, I have been doing the knowledge to different adds that are geared to the Black community. I have gotten phone calls from the "Rapping Rev." Jesse Jackson calling the martyrs names to convince me to vote. And pictures of President Obama's back and saying that we have to catch it. Really? That's how you talk to Black people. Let me share something with you. Not all of us respond to that type of stimulation. We aren't by default all ghetto. No more in fact than all white people aren't by default trailer trash. And we aren't all Democrats.

One more example before I get to the next level of my build. Essence magazine can close its doors for all I care. i used to subscribe to that magazine but I stopped years ago. The reason was because it tries to be a jack-of-all-trade and a master-of-none. Black magazines try to hit everything. Essence cannot decide if it's a beauty, fashion, financial, cooking, relationship, job, or interior decorating. It's okay to have more than 1 magazine. Ebony used to fall victim to the same problem. But they have rectified that. Ebony is actually a good magazine again.

I believe the issue that links all these examples together is the same. Black people are one dimensional. White people do this to us, but MORE importantly we do this to ourselves. I grow tired when I hear Black folKs say to other Black folks, "Black people don't do ----" Most of the time that comment is made in jest, but if you hear something enough you start to believe it.

Not all Black people are Democrats, and we don't have to be. Not all Black people are Christians, and we don't have to be. Not all Black people eat chicken and watermelon, and we don't have to. Not all Black people listen to R&B, Hip Hop and gospel. There is more to us than just our skin. We are a race of individuals not just one big stereotype.

Part of the problem is we don't allow and accept that Black folks can do what white people do. We are not free to express ourselves in a way that may offend other Black people. That's crazy. That right there, offends me! Black people who speak against long held Black-isms get ostracized. I hear things like, we should keep those things that could cause embarrassment in our own communities. Please! We can't keep our own businesses in our own communities, but anything else we are supposed to keep quiet about. Really? We don't have to try to behave better than white folks. We don't have to prove to white folks that we can have what they have. And we don't have to emulate them either.

I'm not advocating that we forget our history. I really don't understand why people make the leap from "we need to let go of the long standing habits that don't serve us" to "I say we wipe the slate clean and for get past atrocities." No. I am not saying that. What I am saying is we are more diverse than we give ourselves credit for. And we need to stop criticizing each other for their opinions and predilections.


PS: The Lyrics....
Lift every voice and sing, till earth and Heaven ring,
Ring with the harmonies of liberty;
Let our rejoicing rise, high as the listening skies,
Let it resound loud as the rolling sea.
Sing a song full of the faith that the dark past has taught us,
Sing a song full of the hope that the present has brought us;
Facing the rising sun of our new day begun,
Let us march on till victory is won.

Stony the road we trod, bitter the chastening rod,
Felt in the days when hope unborn had died;
Yet with a steady beat, have not our weary feet,
Come to the place for which our fathers sighed?
We have come over a way that with tears has been watered,
We have come, treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered;
Out from the gloomy past, till now we stand at last
Where the white gleam of our bright star is cast.

God of our weary years, God of our silent tears,
Thou Who hast brought us thus far on the way;
Thou Who hast by Thy might, led us into the light,
Keep us forever in the path, we pray.
Lest our feet stray from the places, our God, where we met Thee.
Lest our hearts, drunk with the wine of the world, we forget Thee.
Shadowed beneath Thy hand, may we forever stand,
True to our God, true to our native land.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

A PSA --- For the Mens...

Peace Family!

I was building or having a conversation with a God who shall remain nameless..... And I realize that some of y'all men are clueless to the hows and whys the ladies get down. Especially you men that grew up without sisters. Well, my duty as a civilized person is to make knowldege born so I'm a hip y'all men up on a few things. Can't tell you everything. I will get exiled from the sisterhood. But I will share a few jewels.

These are necessary for better homes and gardens. Women's shoes are not like mens shoes. Men shoes fall into dress shoes, boots/work shoes and gym shoes. That's it. Since all the heels are essentially the same size (unless you are Prince), the only variation is the color. Women's shoes come in multiple necessary categories. Flats, pumps, heels, boots/sandals and sneakers. I count 5 categories for which you need several colors. Flats are for social activities. A lot of women can do this in heels, but eventually you need to come down off that high. Pumps are for work. Flats and stiletto heels are usually inappropriate in the corporate environments. Boots are for cool weather as sandals are for warm. Plus there are boots for dresses and boots for pants. They are NOT the same. Sneakers are for exercise and the stilettos are for y'all menfolk. You MUST have all these in black and then add on all the other colors. That easily takes you to starting around 20-30 pairs of shoes for starters.

These are must haves, not luxuries. Case closed. And then there are different shoe wardrobes for summer vs winter. Let me give you the benefit of my Culture Cipher years... If your feet hurt, your screwed. There is no way to avoid the discomfort and said discomfort will cause personality distortions. Corns and bunions are real! Hammertime! Don't buy cheap shoes. I recognize that you may need a quick payless pair for a single event. But don't continue to keep wearing bad for your feet shoes. Your feet pretty much stay the same size once your completely grown and are done having children. So acquiring and caring for good shoes is a wise investment.

I realize men don't understand this because they don't carry purses. Let me explain one simple thing, that I'm not sure men understand. Women don't throw away purses. There is no need to. They don't really wear out because you are constanty swapping them out. I think I may have lost 3 bags to wear. They were woven bags and I really didn't expect them to hold up. Because purses don't get discarded (though we might give some away and they do get stolen), we tend to accumulate. In high school, I had 1 purse. I wasn't into them back then. In college I received my 1st designer bags. In grad school I started my true acquisition which has continued to this day. I have gotten to the point where I have bags for whatever I need to do. I have nearly 75 bags. But that is over a 25 year period. That's just 3 a year and I'm including special occasion bags and wristlets. There are shoulder bags, clutches, totes, handbags and many more types. We need them all. There is no such thing as a the single black bag that can be worn with everything and at all times. The bag I wear to work that holds all my stuff, my lunch and my shoes is not the same bag that I will carry to the opera or even on the weekends. So the get 1 bag and that's it philosphy I hear from y'all must cease. Just like with all articles of clothing there are bags that you carry in the summer and bags you carry in the winter. And again it is a must have and not a luxury. More that a few times, men will ask if I have something in my purse that they can't carry in their pockets or hand me their wallets to carry in my bag.

there was a time when I was satisfied with 1 pair of earrings, 1 necklace, 1 ring and 1 bracelet. I was 6. Now a days, I expect more. There are gold days, and silver days, there are colorful days and pearl occasions. Seriously, don't expect me to wear the same pair of earring (or whatever) for the rest of my life. That sounds crazy because it is crazy.

I've been tongue and cheek here but really I'm very serious. There are aspect to being a woman that we hold very near and dear to our hearts. Men often look at how we do and act like we are being excessive when we aren't. I have noticed that men don't consider that women have different needs from them. Food, clothing, shelter and medical attention; that's all anybody needs. Nope. I NEED to have certain acoutremonts. If I don't get them, I won't be happy. If Mommy isn't happy, no one is happy. And I don't go into hock with my collections. Nope. My advice to ypunger women when they are just starting out and they don't have true bills yet, is to purchase the really good stuff. Good purses, good jewellry, Good coats, things that last. Eventually, life kicks in and you can't always afford the niceties. This way you can look moneyed even when your busted. It was a piece of advice I took, and it has served me well.

The whole idea of practical gifting is ridiculous. I could see a pracrical gift if I was not just broke, but assed out too. No job, no home, no friends, no car, nothing. Then anything is assistence. But a vacuum cleaner is not a gift. You would buy a vacuum cleaner whenever you needed one. Just because one breaks near my bornday, don't think I will be happy with a replacement as a gift. If you insist, then I want a brand new Kirby... with ALL the attachements. They finance.


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

When the 11:14 Bites you in the Ass

Peace Family.

“Have you not heard that your word is bond regardless of whom or what?”

This portion of the 11:14 gets quoted by every G and E I know when they get mad at
folks for bailing last minute. It’s not peculiar to citizens of Allah’ s 5% NGE, lots of people have this rule. My parents impressed upon me the importance of keeping my word in very different ways.

My father implicitly always did what he said he would do. At least to me. He told me that all a man had was his word. And if I couldn’t keep my word, then I shouldn’t give it. I would tease him and say, “ I’ m not a man.” I knew what he meant. He also said that no one would ever take you serious if you got the reputation for being flaky. He did what he said he was gonna do. Not always the way you expect but always done. My mother and brother hated that I could get things from my Daddy. That was because I trusted him to keep his word and I gave him time to consider my request. They would ask for somethingat the last minute and demand he act. Oh he would act, all right. Just not in their favor. If there was a time frame on the request, they would nag the hell out of him and expect him to bless them without any information. I have seen him ache, because he wanted to grant their requests but they forced him to say no, and he couldn’ t go back on his word. When I wanted something, I would approach him in a business-like fashion and present my desire with corroborating information. Then I would insist he think about it. Give him time to do the Knowledge. Should he allow time to lapse or forget about me, he would always
give me what I asked for by default.

Mommie on the other hand, would promise all manner of stuff. And renege every time.
She would then laugh in your face and call her friends and tell them how she got over on you. The occasion (of many) I always remember is as follows… She promised me a trip to Childworld on a Wednesday if I would do something for her. I don’ t even remember what the something was. All I remember is I got cheated. It wasn’ t something I had to do. If it had been, she would have just forced me to do it. Had she forced me to do it, I would have purposefully fucked it up and then she would have been publicly embarrassed. I can take a rote ass-whipping. She promised that we could go to Childworld on Wednesdayand I could stay in there and play with the toys for 1 hour. I did what she asked. When Wednesday came, I got ready for my hour. She smiled and said, “I didn’t say which Wednesday.” I asked every week for the next 2 months until she said she never had any intention of every taking me to Childworld. She kept that promise. Loaning her money means you won’ t get it back no matter what she says. I’ m not trying to slam my mother. I’ m just saying you cannot believe what she tells you. I have seen her make promises she had no intention of keeping and spread malicious gossip she knows isn’t true. And she doesn’t care.

So where do I fall in the 11:14 degree? Close to the 100% but not quite. I am NOT my
mother. I don’ t tell lies and I abhor gossip. I always try to keep my word exactly. That’s not so easy to do. I manage 90% of the time. But that 10% just kills me. It’ s like belief and face value. We say we don’ t deal in “ belief” but we do to a point. Expectations equal belief. You expect to get paid on pay day. You don’ t know that will happen. You expect the bus to arrive at a certain time. You don’ t know, but you still go out there and wait.

When someone tells you something, we know that we are supposed to double check the
information, but often times we don’ t. You’ re lost and you ask a stranger for directions and he gives it to you. Are you going to ask 2 more strangers or are you going to followthe directions? So we do, in fact, don’ t always do what we say.

I remember in grad school, a friend of mine asked me to help her move. I hate moving.
Seriously. But she was a good friend and needed my assistance. I said I would do it.
2 days later a different friend of mine acquired tickets to see at the time, The ArtistFormerly Known as Prince. They would have been free to me. But it was the same dayand same time I promised old girl I was going to help her move. I couldn’ t go. I didn’t even tell her, because I knew she would let me off the hook. She needed me and I didn’t want to manipulate her like that. She played a simulcast of the concert the entire time I was helping her. I wept.

Last month, my co-worker asked me to come in early on a day I could have come in
anytime because she wanted to get there early. I agreed and did what she asked. She
came in late and never called to tell me her plans changed. She said since I was coming in she didn’ t see the need to call. What she didn’ t know was another friend asked me if he could take me to breakfast to pay me back for always driving him around. I said no, because I had to meet the coworker. I also left the door open, which I don’t usually do when the office isn’t open to the public. I have to explain to everyone who comes in that we aren’ t open for business. Folks get testy. I normally don’t have to deal with walk ins like that, simply because I keep the door locked. So this woman changing her plans and not telling me royally screwed up my day. All she said was “ I didn’ t know.” I’ ve noticed I have since, stopped listening to her complaints about life. Somehow, I now suspect her problems come from her inability to keep her word.

Not keeping your word is so easy to do. There are so many ways to screw it up. Every
time you sign a credit card receipt you promise to pay the bill. Every utility you get you agree to pay the bill on time! Every student loan promissory note you sign, you agree to pay it back. Every time you give an opinion on something, you are expected to tell the truth. Your Earth spends 2 days cooking a special meal for you and it’ s nasty. What do you say? Are you going to be brutally honest or are you going to let it slide? What about promptness? Are you ever late for appointments, work or rallies? Ever left anyone hanging? Claimed someone you shouldn’ t have on your taxes. Told someone you moved somewhere later than you actually did? Not paid back someone you owe money too exactly how you promised you would? Cheated on a diet? Not prepared a meal you said you would? Not finished a project that you promised to? The degree says regardless of whom or what.

I know. It’ s a hard call. And these small things take their toll. I struggle with it every day. Folks want to force you into a corner. And I get why. People (me included) are uncomfortable with indecisiveness. When I need to know something, I can push. And folks aren’ t the most honest regarding their intentions. But this ain’ t about other folks. It’ s about me. That’ s what y’ all should be thinking. “ It’ s about me” meaning you and how true you are to your word.

So those of y’ all that are reading this... If I say I will do something, I will. If I don’t,check the hospitals, prisons and morgues. Because something humongous has happened. If I say I’ m not doing something, don’ t look for me to do it; even if I want to later. If I said I didn’ t do it, I didn’ t do it. If I refuse to answer, I probably did it. I need for people in my cipher to know they can trust me. I’ m a decent person. And I expect the same from people around me.

“Yes. My word is bond, and my bond is life. And I will give my life before my word
shall fail.”