Monday, April 20, 2009

Good Times?

Good Times.Any time you meet a payment. - Good Times.Any time you need a friend. - Good Times.Any time you’re out from under.Not getting hassled, not getting hustled.Keepin’ your head above water, Making a wave when you can.Temporary lay offs. - Good Times.Easy credit rip offs. - Good Times.Scratchin’ and surviving. - Good Times.Hangin in a chow line - Good Times.Ain’t we lucky we got ‘em - Good Times.
Mmmmmm Just lookin' out of the window.Watchin' the asphalt grow.Thinkin' how it all looks hand-me-down.Good Times, yeah, yeah Good TimesKeepin' your head above waterMakin' a wave when you canTemporary lay offs. - Good Times.Easy credit rip offs. - Good Times.Ain't we lucky we got 'em - Good Times.

I have a good friend whose goal is always getting out of survival mode. I could tell from her intonation that she felt strongly about the goal so I never really said anything against it. When it comes to other grown folks and if it has nothing directly to do with me… If you like it I love it. But I never really understood why she was trying to make her way out of the survival realm. Surviving is the goal isn’t it? Emphatically Now Cipher. It isn’t. Survival is somewhere between maintaining and deteriorating. The goal should be elevation.

Deterioration <-> Maintenance <-> Elevation

Okay if the goal is elevation…. Why didn’t I get the memo? Why are so many people cool with just existing? My guess is 4-14:1-36. Hell, I was (sorta still am) one of those people. Just wanted to make sure I had a few luxuries and my bills were paid. Long as that was in place, I was good. But that’s an empty way to live. And that’s not a good times no matter how it’s sung. I want to elevate. But I have to figure how to come out from under the yoke of just getting by. I’m not trying to go in the opposite direction either.
And why did the colored people call that series "Good Times"? I mean yeah they were a cohesive family that looked out for each other but isn't that what families are supposed to do? I mean even gangs do that. Living in the projects. Daddy can't get or keep a reliable job. Oldest son is a bafoon and has an obvious learning disability. He never dates a functional girl either. Daughter jumps from boyfriend to boyfriend. Daddy dies right when things are supposed to be getting better for them. Mother never works and abandons family for a new man. Abused little girl. Everyone is chronically underemployed, except neighbor who shouldn't be living in the pjs in the 1st place. Hell, the daughter marries a professional athlete who loses everything until the last episode. Now he has to live in the projects with what's left of the family. I guess you fall on hard times if you even so much as join this jinxed family. No wonder mother ran for the hills. And these are Good times? I'll pass.

How can one elevate? Well from the way I see it, Maintenance has to be in place 1st. Meaning you have to already be comfortable to add on. A beautiful example of this is, there was an older woman I used to know. When her children finished their 2nd year of college she bought them brand new cars and put it in their names. When they graduated from college she bought them whatever homes they wanted. Not lock stock and barrel, but she paid the down payment, closing costs and the first 6 months of mortgage for them. She has 5 daughters. All of them are uber-successful. I have to ask… Is it because they didn’t have to reinvent the wheel? They didn’t have to begin their lives from square 1. The hopped a couple of spaces ahead of the rest of the folks in the American dream. They had cars and homes. Now what? They were free to focus on their careers and what made them feel satisfied.

On the flip side, I know folks who got put out on their 18th birthdays. Had to turn in the keys to their parent’s homes. Some of them weren’t even finished with high school. All of the kids I know knew, it was coming. Wasn’t like their parents just sprung it on them. All their parents said the same thing… “Go out and make your way in the world.” I am happy to report that not all of them landed in flop houses (a lot of them did though); but a lot of them aren’t elevating either. All of them had to reinvent the basics for themselves. They focused so much on survival that they have a hard time just enjoying life for life’s sake. They remind me of depression survivors.

Where do I fall? Comfortably in the middle. I have a fabulous education that my parents paid for me. But they left me out to dangle a lot. When I finished school I was kind of tossed to the wolves. I ain’t mad at them for that. I got a lot more than most folks. And I didn’t have to go to school while working full time with a God and seeds to care for.

I see my particular path to elevation, is to carve out time in my schedule to do the Serenity-elevating activities and really do the work to put my long term goals in effect. Ideas that have been conceived in my mental need to be born into this reality and have life. You really cannot just work and pay bills day in and day out. Maybe you can if your work is your dream reality. But mine ain’t. Another option is to find work that is fulfilling, yet pays my bills! There is always a fly in the ointment. I’m a share something with y’all, but don’t tell anyone….. My dream is to open a holistic center. Hindsight tells me that I should become a chiropractor rather than a dentist because it would have been easy to put a holistic center under a chiropractic umbrella. I really don’t want to go to chiropractic school at this point in my life. I neither have the time, energy, patience or the money at this point in my life. But how does a dentist translate into a holistic practitioner. Plus I got bills… BIG ones.

If y’all got lottery numbers, a rich philanthropic relative or Oprah’s phone number… Hooks a sistah up!


PS: Where did John Amos get all them volur track suits from? Who knew 35 years later, the ladies would be wearing them?

Sunday, April 19, 2009

My Ownself: The Frugal Fashionista

A friend of mine bet me that I could not refrain from shopping for clothes for 1 year. Want more information, check out her myspace page. I started in September 2008. I have not violated the challenge at all... And it ain't been easy! I shop. I could do it for a living. The God just recently called my closet a department store. I'm gonna assume he was playing with me. But not shopping retail does not mean that I cannot acquire new clothes. I just have to be creative about it.

Yesterday I got bitten by the Spring bug. You know the feeling.... All the fashion magazines are showing the new trends. All the lovely shoes and purses (which btw can be purchased)... the sundresses.... maxidresses..... scarves..... glasses.... What was I writing about? Oh yeah. sorry about that. I went to lennox Mall. Yeah baby! Though not for the reasons you think. I sew. I wanted to be inspired. Can you think of better inspiration than Neiman's, Norstrom's and Bloomie's?

Afterward, I went to GoodWill. I was looking for items I could take apart and reuse. It's cheaper than going to the fabric stores. You can use the buttons and zippers from the clothes too. I sew from eye to hand rather than from a pattern. I will buy clothes to use for the reference. I had a list of the articles I was expecting to find. I found an ass of designer clothes. DAMN. DKNY, Moschino, J.Crew and a lot of other designer labels. And I was in a hood GoodWill.

I am not a GoodWill virgin. Damn near everything in my home is resurrected. I ain't shamed. but my body is different. When I walk out of my house, it is my goal to be one of the best dressed people in any cipher I enter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm beaughoisie. Don't hate. But maybe the time has come to re-think the "Mall" policy. By the time spring fever has run its course, I will be looking foward to buying more sweaters and boots. My challenge will be complete. So I will be free to return to my beloved malls and share my hard earned money. After all, it's good for the economy. Maybe..... Maybe not. We shall see.


Friday, April 17, 2009

The Interorientation

I’m looking for a job. I am being faced with a conflict of interest….. Money or happiness/satisfaction?

Money is nice. Real nice. You cannot make it in this world without it. And since I exist in this world solo, I see the need to make plenty of it. But is it worth sacrificing my happiness and peace of mind?

On the flip side, would I be willing to sacrifice my standard of living (and it’s pretty damn comfortable) just for my ideals. I mean will my ideals pay my bills and buy me new shoes and purses?

I’m torn…. And I just thought I’d share.


Thursday, April 16, 2009

Serenity's Guide to Style...

I know I said I was done with this topic, but clearly it is still weighing on my mind. Every Earth does ¾ differently. That is strictly between that Earth and her God. And since this is a self styled Nation and we all got our own thing going on, I have decided to share what my “3/4” is. I’m certain my God will add on.

First I want to define what it means to me and why I observe it. (1) I am Earth; therefore, I imitate the planet. As the planet is covered ¾ with water, so I shall cover my planet (body) ¾ with clothing. (2) Modesty. (3) ¾ is a display of how I divide my Understanding by this Culture. Meaning how I display this Culture is based on my Understanding. Onto my personal rules…..

There are rules that I have that I have always had. I keep the goodies covered. Though some of the goodies aggressively show themselves no matter what I do so I give them their space.
Nothing tight. Tight is in the eye of the beholder. This eye says that if the clothes make you feel like a sausage then they are too tight. I call that sausage-ism. If you constantly have to pull up or down anything guess what? Too tight. But if you can comfortable exist in your clothing all day long, then that’s peace.

This is completely a Serenity thing… I don’t wear pants for the most part. I don’t think I have the body for pants, and I don’t like how men looked at me when I had them on. When I do wear them it’s because I’m working out or outside, so I’m a leave this one alone.

No skirts above the knee. There are plenty of reasons why this is a Serenity Rule. First of all…. I don’t like my knees. Secondly, its not age appropriate for me. I’m looking 40 in the nose! And thirdly, if a skirt is at or above you knees, when you sit or bend down it will really hike up and give the people a show.

Most of my skirts are long with varying levels of “form-fittedness”. But again nothing that makes me uncomfortable or ashamed. If I should wear a skirt that is closer to the knee, but will accommodate me bending or sitting, then I will wear a sleeve length that comes to at least mid upper arm and a headwrap.

I consider tall boots as a leg covering and add it to my calculation.

I have no problem with sleeveless tops. But I will wear a long skirt with them and a headwrap.

I know that we are not required to wear headwraps as long as everything else is covered ¾. But I have gotten comfortable with the wrap and will probably have one on for the next minute. And frankly, I don’t see me coming out of it unless my hair starts to complain. When my locs get a little longer, I may allow them to creep out of the wrap.

I will admit to wearing a lot more closer-to-the-knee-skirts in the winter. That’s because the sleeves go down to the wrist and there are always tall boots.

I consider ¾ as the starting point and not the entire goal. For example as I write this, I have an ankle length full skirt, a turtleneck, tall boats, a jacket and a headwrap. Only my face and hands are exposed. I’m probably closer to 7/8 than ¾. And that’s okay with me.

This is a pet peeve of mine…. Undergarments should not be seen from the outside of your clothes. If you are dark and wear a white bra (and vice versa), folks can see that through a lot of tops. STOP THAT! They make bras in various colors. And if you can’t find one that won’t show through you clothes, then wear a camisole. That is what they are there for. And never underestimate the value of a slip. I know this is me getting old. I used to couldn’t stand or understand slips. But everybody does not need to know what the shape of my leg looks like.

No chemicals in the hair. I had already given up the perms, but as I get older, the desire to color my hair is becoming stronger. Coloring, for the most part, is chemicals. Henna seems like a good option because it’s natural, but it doesn’t come in the shade I want (Jet Black) and stylists don’t really know how to apply it correctly. Non-Nation folks be like, “Why even bother? You wear a headwrap!” But that is that simple thinking that folks do. I don’t do this for others. I take care of myself for me! When I look in the mirror I NEED to be satisfied with what I see.

The last thing I’m a discuss is the saddest and most missed…. No Makeup. **sniff** I’m a leave this alone. I still ain’t strong enough to talk about giving up this one. It’s still tender…..

This is a question I have….. Why is it there are no rules for the Gods? Why I gotta see their drawers when they not my God? Why do they wear these intensely baggy clothing looking like they playing dress up in their Father’s clothes? Or these intensely tight pants that squeeze the jewels and allow no air up and through? How are you going to build a Nation if your swimmers are defective?

I am not advocating restrictive rules and dogma. One of the things I love about this Nation is the way we are each allowed to manifest the lessons for ourselves. I’m just one Earth sharing how she doeseth her thang.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Negro Project

I really do not like the colored people. Their women especially. But that’s me. This particular woman has always been heralded as some type of savior of women. She has been hailed as giving woman freedom of choice for their bodies. And as usual we accepted the okey doke on face value. We should not have. Her real goal was to exterminate Original people by secretly sterilizing

The “best part” this lesson for me will be…. Suspect Everyone!


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

What is Sexy?

I have no idea why I keep blogging on this topic. I suppose it has been more of a subconscious issue than I had given it credit for. But I have to ask. What is Sexy?

The dictionary defines sexy as sexually attractive or stimulating. Hmmm…. That’s vague. My mother says that sexy is putting all your physical assets on display. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. (My mother is a proper, prudent, librarian, sorority (AKA) church lady with clearly, a freaky side) Another person has said that sexy is internal. It’s how stimulating you feel inside. Some folks are like sexy is as sexy does. I guess those are the Gumpians.

A friend of mine showed me a spoof video she had of Middle Eastern Girls Gone Wild. It had women in the full hijab, dancing and wilding out by pulling down their head coverings (not off, down), lifting up their sleeves, and showing their ankles. Had me cracking up. But clearly women who adhere to the hijab style, have a sexiness that is apparent to themselves and the people who appreciate it.

Music videos are famous for showing women in various and sundry levels of undressedness. Now I don’t advocate this as a level of sexiness that women should aspire to or that men should expect, but it does follow the dictionary definition of sexiness. What of it? Should not people do what makes their quality of life acceptable for them?

I never really dressed overtly ‘sexy’. At least according to my own personal definition. I never liked the attention that I received from the male species when my goodies were put on display. My mother said that I just needed to develop thicker skin. I was famous for my baggy boys style. My mother said that it was wrong for me to hide and that I should embrace my God-given attributes. She said that I was giving it power over me and as long as I hid, I’ have something to hide. I get what she was trying to do. At the time it was really hard. But that was then, I’m grown now… and can fight! But I still as an adult never liked sexual attention from men. For real. I’d prefer a man to be attracted to me because I’m smart, funny, witty, any other reason rather than that I have big titties, a fat ass and look like I’d be good at whatever. Nope. SMH. But of course someone is accusing me of sexual, visual enticement. I have come to learn that you cannot and should not satisfy others. Others can’t be satisfied. But you can be. So make that the goal and screw everyone else.

I see how men look at women with their goodies hanging out. IMO both parties are at fault. And I certainly do not advocate the concept that women should amend their behavior in order to control a man’s behavior. Parties should control their own behavior. But there is a disturbing trend now a days. It has become the rule and not the exception to show way more skin than to not show it. I see more cleavage these days then I ever did than when I was younger. Women don’t even try to find appropriate under garments any longer. They just slap themselves in whatever they want to wear; doesn’t matter if it fits, and go on their merry way. Men are no better with their either too tight or too loose outfits. And who gave the impression that throwback jerseys are cute? People with modesty are frowned upon as weirdos. Indeed. I have a friend who has a problem with my self imposed modesty. She thinks it’s a sign of poor self esteem. Ah… no…. It’s about me keeping the goodies for my God. I do not want to be every man’s sexual fantasy.

Yet I feel incredibly sexy. And since I feel it, I am it. That’s my logic. I’m certain them half naked women feel sexy also and this is not to take anything away from them, I suppose I’m saying in a convoluted way that sexiness is an internal vibe for me. It is that which makes me feel confident and alluring. And I’m done.