Thursday, April 30, 2015

Who are the 5% on the poor part of the planet Earth?


I went to the gas station this morning and I got $15 worth of gas. I always prepay inside the store. I had a previous situation where I was on a road trip and paying at the pump tapped my debit card out in the middle of my trip. They were holding $100 every time I stopped to get gas. It was a 15 hour road trip! Luckily I had another credit card and some cash plus I was only really a serious full tank from home; that allowed me to make it home. Otherwise I would have had to wait at the gas station until 2 am when the charges were released. I always go inside now.

This morning I asked for $15, paid $15 and got a prepaid amount of $18 worth of gas. I went back inside to pay the other $3. It's not like I could unpump it. Why did I do that? Because it was the right thing to do. I didn't know the chick who I bought the gas from. I wasn't scared that someone would arrest me because I bounced with $3 of their gas. I didn't fear retribution from the mystery god, nor did I do it to build up a credit of good karma somewhere.

The man offered me free coffee, I declined. I had already purchased coffee. It freaked him out that I didn't need an incentive or a reward.

I say all this to say, that I am a civilized person. I m not so civilized that I'm a punk. There is a time and place for everything under the sun. If I needed to steal for some reason.... and it would have to be a helluva reason.... I would. If I needed to lie, I would. But I don't need to steal $3 worth of gas. And thankfully my life is such that I have no reason to commit crimes.

Folks like to think that folks won't do right without threats. And those people earn my pity because they are telling on themselves. That's what they need to do right. They also earn my avoidance because I no longer trust them.

Folks don't need religion to be good people. Everyone is calling Muslims dangerous right now because of Isis. But Christians have committed atrocities in their own god's name. Look at the colonization of North and South America. All indigenous people with the slavemaster's tongue in their mouths, worshiping the slavemaster's god. Jews are committing them right now, but folks act like that's okay. They went over there stole the land from the occupants who lived there for generations and that's cool? Al because they owned it a milenia ago? Not that it makes an ounce of difference, but can they even prove that they are descended from the same people who lived there so long ago? I guess since the Muslims are doing their shit currently, they are the ones earning all the angst.

But what of us non-religious people? We can't be trusted because folks don't know what we are thinking. I have come to learn that when folks cannot instantly categorize you, they get uncomfortable. That feeling of discomfort then leads to hostility. I wrap my head so folks instantly think I'm a Muslim, but I might have a long skirt on with a sleeveless shirt... or a knee length skirt with long-3/4 sleeve top. Now what am I? I cover my head everyday, but... I may not cover all of it. Some might dangle out. What am I now? Folks assume I smoke ganja because I have dreads. Nope. Never touched the stuff or any drug in my life. The God wears a crown, but our crowns have a tassel. Who is he now? When some pseudo-enlightened person greets us with a Muslim greeting and we say, “Peace” they are confused. And by the end of the event they are ready to fight us. What did we do wrong? We didn't satisfy their expectations.

Goods and Earth go on being the good people we are. Someday.... folks will get it.


Monday, April 20, 2015

The "Lord's" Day.....


I left the Xian church when I went under NGE instruction. Where as I don't ever regret that decision, there are some things that I miss about the church. I miss all the extra things you “learn” being in that particular environment. It's like how you learn and do things in college other than the scholastic things. I miss the fellowship of the saints. I had some... what I thought... were good friends. I REALLY miss singing in the choir. NGE has nothing to replace that. But most of all I miss how my Sunday and therefore my week, was organized.

Back in the day, Sundays were “Holy Days.” My grandmother didn't cook, iron, ride in the car, shop, or anything that looked like work on Sundays didn't allow us to on Sundays either. So that meant Everything was done the night before so that we could spend the day basking and considering the mystery god's holiness. My mother wasn't quite that strict with Sundays. But there was an Understanding that the primary thing that Sundays were for was for the church and family. So.... That meant a big breakfast and a big Sunday dinner. My mother would fry chicken or salmon croquettes on Sunday mornings and finish off my hair. She washed and pressed my hair the night before. But her curling iron still went in stove fire. We would be in church from Sunday school until the morning service was over. No matter how long it took. If we didn't eat at the church, then there was big dinner at home unless we went out. And... we had to dress for Sunday dinner.

Homework had to be completed prior to Sunday. The biggest way to get in trouble was to be caught doing homework on a Sunday. In her defense, you did have 2 other days where it could have been done. Sunday was a day where if we weren't doing something church related, I could do fun/social things like go to the movies or bike riding or skating, etc. Saturday was dedicated to Sunday prep; cleaning the house, homework, laundry, etc. If I wanted to be social, then all my chores had to be done 1st.

When I slipped into adulthood, I realized that my mother had organized the weekend right and exact. There was no telling how long you could end up in church. As I got older and more involved in church auxiliaries, I would find myself in church until 8pm or later. After all that, there is no time to get ready for the rest of the week that financed church activities. And after I got married..... YEESH! If I wasn't in church all day on Sunday, I was at a family member's home. Sundays were always a day of full downtime.

But nowadays.... I find myself on “grind” all weekend. Seriously. I need Monday and Tuesday at work to relax and take it down a notch. All 3 days of my weekend are pure work. Friday I can clean the house without the 7 interrupting since he's at work. Saturdays find me running my errands and Sundays find me doing any leftover housework, shopping and cooking for the week. And the 7 chills for 2 days. To be honest... and I know he reads this... I get a perverse pleasure from watching him do yard work. He only needs to consider the yard 2x/month from April-October, where I'm cleaning that dustbox every damn weekend and the kitchen every day. But.... he does have more pressure to get his part right. We have shitty neighbors who call the law on us about the yard and house.

One of those 3 days of my weekend, I need to truly decompress. I'm thinking since I start my work week on Mondays, it will fall back on Sundays. Big breakfast, big dinner and nothing that isn't pleasurable in between. That way I'll start my work week relaxed. But that means I'll either need to pump up Fridays and Saturdays or just decrease the amount of activities I do on the weekends.

A cause for pause....


Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Some Folks DO Wait.....


I saw this on Google+.

I don't disagree with the sentiment. I disagree with posting it. If you are posting... you aren't doing anything.

I read this on “Field Negro's” blog:
"People of color] are expected to educate white people as to our humanity. Women are expected to
educate men. Lesbians and gay men are expected to educate the heterosexual world. The oppressors
maintain their position and evade their responsibility for their own actions.' —Audre Lorde "

It falls in line with the same sentiment. You cannot say that you want improvements in life and then beg your oppressor to do it for you.

If you want a Black wall street... to stop police brutality... to improve our children's education... or any of the other things that Black people have been demanding since I can remember... then we are going to have to stop waiting on external validation and assistance to make that happen. him/devil ain't gonna aid us (11:40). Posting on the inter webs ain't gonna help either. Think about all the information that you have watched on social media since Trayvon Martin.... Has any of it worked? Do you know why? It's unfocused and has no true goal. The only goal I see, it to let the police and other devils know we are sick of their shit. They know... They don't care.

We have to throw off the shackle of slavery in order to make that a reality. And many of us don't realize we are still enslaved. That's one of the 1st devils I took off my planet.

I have often said that if the revelation actually comes, the majority of Black people won't be ready. We are used to him/devil taking care of us in some aspect. I'm not just talking about folks on assistance. That's way too obvious. We work for them. Many of us trust their services better than our services. We swallow anything they tell us. We emulate everything they do. We change the way we behave in front of them. For many of us he has never stopped being “massa.”

A few years ago I spent a year striving to only patronize OUR business. It was easier said than done. That's when I realized we don't have anything of our own. No grocery stores.... but plenty of soul food restaurants. I couldn't find 1 gas station. Not many banks. Maybe 1. And all my utility money went to the him devil. We ain't ready.

What we need to do is GET READY. Getting ready isn't just about stock piling resources like them white folks in the mountains. It's learning useful skills that our people once had, but traded for the trinket of living like them. Not with them... like them. We need to break that dependent mindset and instead posting what we need on the internet, manifesting it. Do you think during the times we had Black Wall Streets that it was bankrolled by the devil??? Nope. Our people showed some solidarity and made it happen. And they didn't ask for help. Also did you wonder what happened to the Black Wall Streets? Why did they stop? Race riots. Everyplace where Black people where doing well without the devil, a race riot occurred. So they know... If this is something we want, we need to have a plan for when they come for us... again. Tired of the way our schools teach our children? Well... are you teaching them anything at home or are you solely relying on these schools? When I was a child, my mother taught me Black History year round including the summers (which then I resented, but now appreciate) at home as a supplement.

Positive change will not happen for the lazy. They haven't earned it.


Monday, April 6, 2015

My Name is W.F. Muhammad


I had an interaction this weekend that brought to mind memories.... I was telling a “friend” that I had made a kelly green lace skirt. (I cannot stop looking at because it is so pretty!!!!) She asked me if I lined it. Of course I lined it. I work in a dentist office and not a strip club. She asked what color the lining was. That's a weird question. I still don't understand her motivation for asking. But I said, “brown.” She asked, “Why did you choose brown?” I said, “Because I'm brown.” She then told me.... that I should have lined it in beige and that my skirt would look dirty. Woooooooow!!!!!!That's a level of self hate I'm not used to. But maybe I should be.

I don't wear white bras. At this junction, I don't even own white bras anymore. Ever since I started buying my own bras, I have made the conscious choice to purchase bras that couldn't be detected under my clothes. I'm dark skinned. So I own mostly black, but some navy, some emerald green, etc. but all dark. When I know that I ma purchasing bras and will have to try them on, I wear a white shirt just to make sure you can't see it. My mother and I were bra shopping and she wanted to buy some for me. My boobs are not ordinary, so I have to shop at specialty stores. At this particular store on this particular day, they only had white bras in my size. I didn't want them. My mother says, “But they fit.” I said, “I don't wear white bras.” She said, “Everyone wears white bras.” I said, “I don't.” Even the dark skinned sales lady said that she preferred the darker colors. My mother refused to understand. But I refused to bras. And that reminded me of.....

When I got married, I had a bra made. (yes you can to that). I had a black bra made. When I brought it home, my mother bitched because I had it made in black and not white. I countered that you would be able to see a white bra though my dress. And she said not if I wore a slip. That interaction brought back to mind this one....

I used to usher. On the 1st Sunday all the ushers wore their “usher whites.” I always wore Black underthings so that you couldn't see them underneath my whites. The head usher took me aside and asked why I didn't wear white under my whites. I said because you'd see them. She said not if you wore a white slip. She said my whites looked dingy. I asked what about these white tights. She told me there was nothing I could do about them. And she made us wear these thick assed tights too. Not plain white hose, but tights. She said It would look better. What she meant is the color of our legs wouldn't seep through.

What's with this self hate dark people???? I know in this culture white people are seen as the default, so I expect foolishness from them... but not from us. We are supposed to know that everything that's for them doesn't always apply to us. I don't wear “nude” pantyhose. I wear coffee. I don't wear nude shoes, because on me, they are beige. I will wear bronze or copper shoes with everything, though. I don't wash my hair everyday. I know to try on makeup before I purchase it because it may just disappear into my skin.I should own stock in Palmers cocoa butter because I use it like that. I know that “ashy” is a real thing. And guess what... I... Don't... Look.... Dingy! When I wear dark foundation garments. I don't see white as the pinnacle of any damn thing.

But if you do.... stay the hell away from me. I KNOW who I am. I'm having a good time. I own all of this.


Thursday, April 2, 2015



When I was a child, my mother taught me that there was a time and a place for everything under the sun. that's still good advice even though it came from religion. She taught that there was such a thing as appropriateness And what separates the civilized from the savages is their actions. That just because you could do something, didn't mean you should. What she was striving to instill is what I call the “Appropriate Rituals.”

You just don't wear white, open toes, shorts, etc. before Easter and/or after Labor Day. You just DON'T!!!There is a trend happening where people want to do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it. They do it with food. You can buy tomatoes year round. Those tomatoes are not tomatoes anymore. They are grafted or genetically modified. Weak boned and weak blooded. Not only is that dangerous, it's not natural. And when you fool with stuff that isn't natural you get sick. Where do you think auto immune diseases come from?

The circumference of the planet Earth is 24,896 miles; approximately 25,000 miles. My Cee on the word circumference is that it implies a limitation. Limits are not bad. Limits give guidance. And when did guidance become a bad thing. When we have limits to direct our behavior, it shifts us from savage, or jungle to civilized and righteous.

The Honorable Elijah Muhammad taught his people that they should bathe daily. Imagine having to be told that? But back in the day folks bathed on Saturday evenings (all in the same water) so they could be ready to meet the mystery god on Sunday morning. Folks also had those hard labor jobs of working outside all week. Imagine how funky they were on Thursdays? And yet and still they needed to be given the rule and regulation that they should bathe daily. Well damn!

When I was a child, we looked forward to Easter for all the perks that comes with. A new outfit and we can wear white all over. You could always wear a white shirt, but now you can add on the pants, purse and the shoes. I can wear sandals that show my toes. I can start the shift to enjoy summer! Easter comes at different times every year. If you do that year round then you can't really enjoy it, because you don't appreciate it. Without limits you have nothing to look forward to.

My spring prep look like this:
-I swap clothes in the trunk for the clothes in the closet
-I get a pedicure – I only get 2/year. One in the spring to open the toes and 1 in the fall to close up shop. I do my own toes the rest of the summer
-I use different nail polish colors in spring than I do in the fall
-I have different colors for my face
-I use different products in the spring/summer because my face has different needs
-And I change things in my house to reflect the change in seasons. Everything gets brighter. I Spring clean, change the door wreath, the comforters and the curtains.

Now living in Ga, we get warmer days sooner than I did when I lived in NJ. That doesn't mean a thing. A friend of mine was telling me she already wore her sandals. And I asked her why? Did she not have any other shoes? She said she wasn't as old timey as I am. OK. I'll take that action. But then I asked her if she wore boots in August. She looked at me like I was crazy. It's the same premise people. There is a time and place for everything.

And why specifically do folks want to were white year round? Winter white was created to fill that gap. No one wears velvet year round. Folks only wear that Christmas plaid around Christmas. Folks don't wear evening dresses to the office and when they go to the opera they don't wear jeans. Folks don't wear overalls to a job interview. Folks know that some shit is inappropriate. But they are lobbying to be free to wear white whenever?

Well, I'm not the fashion police. But you wear white before Easter... Know that I'm judging you. And also know that your grandmother is turning over in her grave.


Wednesday, April 1, 2015



It's the 1st of the month and always on the 1st of the month folks have Builds with regard to Knowledge. I am no different. I think it's because Knowledge comes 1st and it's the 1st degree that folks learn to Build on.

Well the 1st degree in 120, is the Knowledge degree in the Student Enrollment. Everybody gets degrees in different ways, but folks usually get 1:10 first. Folks also ask, “where is the Earth in 120?” The Earth is anywhere she wants to be. So lets get to it....

Who is the Original Man? The Asiatic Black man. Well... Who is the Original woman? The Asiatic Black woman. Your Foundation should always be the Knowledge of one's self. Doesn't matter if you have a penis or a vagina. It is imperative that we know who and what we are all by ourselves. Not just I'm a mother, wife or sister. Those are relationships with other people. I am Serenity dammit. I am a woman of conviction and strong temperament. I am smart, attractive, I am well traveled and cultured. I don't need for someone to validate that for me. But that's me.

Next comes relationships with consorts. There are primary relationships in life. I'm a grown woman. My primary relationship is with my God. Not my father... though my father was my original primary relationship. And I don't have a child, but if I did, my relationship with their father... if we are together... supersedes that. If the parents are okay... the children are okay. My inlaws had 7 children. And you could tell that they were very much in love with each other. Their affection for each other didn't mean they didn't love their children. Their love caused the children. And when my MIL died her husband followed shortly their after.

The Maker the owner the Cream of the planet Earth. Maker = Daddy, Owner = God, Cream = child of this planet Earth. All my relationships with the men in my life. Father of Civilization = Mother of Civilization. God of the Universe = Earth in the Universe.

I'm all in that degree.

I find that people are uncomfortable with a certain level of confidence. I don't get that. It is my opinion, that when folks lack something in their lives, they resent it when other people manifest it. I don't do that. If someone is inspiring hate in me... I take a moment to analyze why I feel as I do and then adjust me. The one reason why folks feel short on their ends is because they lack Knowledge of themselves. If you Know yourself, you likes and dislikes, you tendencies and proclivities. You best traits and your shortcomings, then you can put your best foot forward in the world. If you can't cook, don't volunteer to make food. But if you excel event planning, then do that. And don't hate on the people who can do what you can't.