Monday, June 15, 2015

Rest in Power.....


My brother died last month. It came unexpectedly. I didn't know he had been sick. We live in different states, nearly 1000 miles apart. And even though I hadn't heard from him in a minute... that wasn't unusual. We often went months without speaking. We weren't not cool... It's just how we loved each other. One day my mother called and said he was in the hospital the next day he was gone. Let me tell you.... I have not been doing well with this. I have gotten spooked out....

Death of a loved one is the thing that separates the 5% from the 85. When folks die it is so damn hard to accept that that's it. It's hard to let go. It's hard to not to want to blame and/or question a mystery god. I thought I had this down packed after my father's death in 2008. I was newly righteous and when he died I was just like ok. But Daddy had cancer and had been sick a long time. I saw him suffering. He died in a hospice. So I was just waiting on the phone call. Clarence was completely different.

So I went through all the stages of grief.... Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I'm not quite sure if I have fully accepted it. I found myself doing something very 85, 2 weeks ago. But I caught myself. But it was there. Another reason I feel like I haven't fully accepted it is because I'm not out of the depression phase yet. This sadness is palpable.

I realized that it had been awhile since I traveled from Knowledge to Pluto so I decided to get back to the basics. What caught my eye is, “...When a man dies dies, he does not come back...” and “... there is no mystery god....” Who said 120 can't bring comfort.

I said this earlier in the build, death is a defining moment for 5%ers. We have to walk into death with an acceptance level that religious people don't have. We don't pray to mystery god for comfort. There are no masses or services said for us. No songs sung. No easy afterlife to look forward too. Dead means gone. I've witnessed other Gods return, and the people around them were acting more than grief stricken.

When I 1st found out, I said to the God, “Well he's with Daddy.” And the God said gently... yet firmly... “No he's not. He's dead, baby. They both are.” Yes it was harsh... but necessary. I'm an Earth not a xian. That doesn't mean be savage and act like I'm unaffected, but it does mean that I have to be clear on what has happened. Clarence existed and now he's gone. And we all have to go eventually. Death wins every time.. and by knockouts not decisions.

I know as I have always known (just because I grieve doesn't mean I've lost my faculties) that last time I will see my brother physically... was right before they closed his coffin. I will never see him again. He's dead and not coming back. He's not chilling with other dead people on a cloud having a drink and playing the harp. And when I dream about him or think about him, that's just me and my imagination. He's gone and not coming back.

Study your lessons.


Thursday, June 11, 2015

Today's Math: Knowledge Knowledge


“Does that have anything to do with the above question number 10?”

I absolutely HATE when folks count 120 all together. When folks be like, “Whats the 42nd degree?” I will physically wince. I mean I really hate that shit. It implies the way the asker got his/her is the only way 120 gets disseminated. And we know there are different ways of teaching for every different teacher. B.U.T..... that's another Build....

I am of the opinion that the above referenced degree is referring to 10:10 and 10:14. You don't have to agree with me... This ain't your blog or your Build.

I've mentioned that I had 2 different educators at different times. My 1st educator gave me SM, SA, 1-10, 12 Jewels, 1-14, 1-36, 1-40 then the AF &SF together. My 2nd educator gave me SM, SA, 1-10, 1-36, 1-14, 1-40, AF & SF order. (See why I hate that add-em-all-up isht???)

Both 1-10 and 1-14 have “question number 10s” the 10:10 seems more logical to me at times. But both could apply. That's why I said my opinion. One could also infer that since the coordinate in the 1-36 is 11, you could use 1 from each... So I will take the best part.

Back to Today's Mathematics.... the 1-36 deals with how the devil made a black man out of God. him/devil gave us everything that was the antithesis of who we were. Different physical food than was healthy for us. Different mental food than we were originally taught. He took away our history and sense of self. Different names... Different languages... and most dangerous.... his religion. None of this is good for us. Him/devil drowned us in all that bullshit and if we wanted to live... and that is the most basic of ALL needs.... we had to swallow this foulness and what emerged from the cesspool was this version of black man.

10:10 refers to the man made mystery gods of Buddha and Jesus 10:14 refers to the bad habits we pick up in this wilderness. Abdicating the inherent Power that we possess to an inferior being is the beginning of our undoing. And that is mostly done through learning to submit. And you know where most of our submission taught???? Yep... In Sunday School! Where we learn how wonderful it is to be an eternal child to white Jesus or Allah. How we can give over all responsibility and monies to a mystery who will provide for our food, clothing and shelter. But we aren't even good enough to speak his name or question it. Yeah... sounds familiar? Everythign good that happens comes form him and everything bad that happens we did to ourselves. That Earthquake or tornado is proof that we wasn't living right. Submission is what we have learned through the English lesson process. The Lost Found lessons further adds on by showing us that we have developed some destructive habits... probably to cope with what we've been through, or to navigate this wilderness.... that we need to let go of if we want to exit this jungle existence. We cannot escape AND maintain at the same time. Both degrees work and work together....

So what's my point? Wake the fuck up please. I said please because I'm not above begging. Some of y'all need to be begged to do what's right. Everyday, they are out there killing our babies and getting away with it. I do not see how things are different/better today than they were in the 50's. Schools are segregated. When you go pick up your babies... if you do that.... what do the other babies look like? Chances are they are all the same color. White folks have the means to get what they want because y'all still sleeping. Schools are just as segregated today as they have ever been. Rich white folks send their children to expensive schools and the poor ones are the ones calling the police on you when your babies show up in their neighbor hoods. And parents now have to pay for the schools supplies? That's for you Black parents. You think them white folks in them white schools are antying up for school supplies?

Super duper private schools discriminate not on the color of your skin, but by the fullness of your wallet. Blue Ivy and North West gonna go to whatever school they want to. Doesn't matter the color of their skin, what matters is their parents are wealthy. Should something happen and them jokers go broke... Nobody is gonna care who they once where.

You ain't doing as well as you think you are.

Start the process of coming back to yourself. There are many pathways that will bring you back home. Pick one and keep it moving.


Monday, June 1, 2015

The Best Knower....


This is a rant... You've been warned.

I am sick... Super Sick..... EMPHATICALLY SICK... of people who know very little of 5% Culture throwing me shade. It happens more than I'm comfortable with.

I live in Georgia. For the most part the only people who Know anything about 5% Culture are adherents and people from up top. ANYBODY else who feels confident in the small amount of Knowledge they have need to shut the fuck up. Case closed.

I am wearing a skirt and a shirt. The shirt is sleeveless and the skirt is a midi. (mid leg for you men reading). Why did a coworker ask me if I was 3/4ths? Really? I'm at work, so I bottled my enthusiasm over slapping her in the mouth or at least cursing her out and asked her why did she think I wasn't 3/4ths. She said because of the sleevelessness. I wish you could have seen my face.... But this is a teaching moment. Or is it? This chick is firmly entrenched with her white Jesus and ain't about to let him go. So why should I cast my pearls before swine and make Knowledge born? I re-explained (for the umpteenth time) what 3/4ths was. And she was oh ok. Did she think she had a valid argument? (a) I could science up a bikini to have her confused for years, months and days. And (b) I have a man at home who sees me before I go to work. Did she think he would let me out of the house with exposed hills and mountains?

I was invited to the home of a coworker for a fight party. Now... at work... my given name is used because, (a) I had the job before I had my righteous name and (b) only my legal name can cash a paycheck. But... we don't use our legal names in non-work settings. So I asked her to introduce me to her people as Serenity. She had a problem with that. Got all Cassius Clay on me. (“Your mama named you Cassius....”) I was like then we won't come. She was cool with initially that but then recanted. So we went and every time she introduced me to someone... including her husband... she said it in a way that made me want to slap her. She even prefaced it with, “That ain't her real name but that what's she wants to be called....”

Another one of my friends had an uncle who got Knowledge in jail. But returned here when he got out. I say here, because unless you affiliate with a cipher here, it is hard to maintain 5% on your own if you don't know better. A lot of what he was taught once here, has been mixed diluted and tampered with. She will tell me something that he told her (he's dead now) and it will be completely wrong and when I gently explain the error she'll get mad and tell me that she was gonna take his word over mine. This dead man who wasn't trying to teach her 5% Culture but was trying to manifest his Understanding. Well what the fuck did you bring it up for? I damn sure didn't ask. But don't tell me you are the best knower of MY CULTURE when you don't know jump from your dead uncle. Hell she doesn't even know his righteous name. She actually told me he didn't have one. He was just “Junior”.

The 7 and I have always said if we had children, we'd give them righteous names. Non-righteous people will say, "Why would you do that to your children?" I ask them would a name like Absalom be better? (that's a heavily christian/Jewish name) Or Muhammad? In every single instance the person who isn't minding their own business says yes? And when I say... "so it's cool to give children religious names if that's their culture but not for us?" They try to make it sound legit but the answer is always the same. And I'm like mind your own fucking business!

I don't proselytize like a christan or a jehovah's witness. I live my Mathematics. If you wanna know more, I can aid you with that. But if you love Jesus and are fully satisfied with that... I'm good with that too. All my friends don't have to be righteous, but you must respect my Culture and my right to exist unmolested as I respect yours. Understand you are not bringing me back to the fold. I have no problems maintaining my boundaries. The issue I am willing to scrap to get you off my back.

Maybe it it the nature of the people here. They really do think they know more than they do. And they cannot recognize when things aren't there business. They often speak super confidently about issues that eventually they make clear that they know nothing about or have no experience with. And then want to tell you about you.