Wednesday, April 28, 2010

What is my ownself?

Peace Y'all,

It's May. The time has come to "Raise the Rod." I normally do my thing around the Spring Equinox but since I have capped 120, and have a God who observes this, I have decided to work my program at this time.

I recognize that most people are going to give up something to show forth their power and prove that nothing has power over self. I'm going to take a slightly different appraoch. I am going to become the person I want to be. Dig it....

Okay. If you know me in the physical you know that I am a confident person. And that's accurate. But through the years I have compromised some of the ideals that I have set for myself. For example, I pride myself on the neatness of my surroundings. And my surrounding are always neat... not always dusted. I have gotten into the habit of not using rooms I don't wish to clean. But dust escapes no one. I even have dust in the car. I have really been neglecting my home. So much I have heard mself making excuses. Again it's neat and tidy, but I used to take time with it, bring in flowers. It's just not the happy place it used to be.

Also, I have neglected my diet a bit. I am busy and often tired. I still follow my vegetarian/nearly vegan diet, but I notice a lot more chips, soda and Kool-aid has found it's way into my cupboards. And I have begun to drink way to much coffee. Even if its decaffinated.

I'm just not sure any more if I'm the woman I meant to be.

Okay. Every problem has a solution. How can I get back on track?
1. I am going to be a little gully about excercising. I have a lot of various and sundry daily activities planned. I don't naormally excercise but I have heard that exercise gives you more energy, though I don't have personal experience with that. I could use some more energy.

2. I am going to implement the raw food diet again for a month. We will see how I feel about that at the end. Last time I went 100% raw, I got all weird and hippy-esque.

3. I am going to pay better attention to my home and work ciphers. make them more pleasant for me to exist. Bring in more plants, do a few household projects. Try to lift my spirits thereby raising my vibrations

4. I'm going to get out of the house more. Atlanta is a big place with a lot to do. I'm going to fight my bed (she is a dirty fighter) and get into more activities.

5. Allow myself to be happy and not feel like I should be doing something different. I suppose this one is called acceptance.

6. And water. There is always that

Sounds like a lot. It is. I am stiriving, that when June 1st hits and I look in the mirror I see the woman that I want to see. And when I look around I see the home I want. And hopefully I see the God getting dressed in his room NOT on vacation.


PS: If you want to follow my progress on this Raising the Rod business, check out my other blog... Within/Without.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Families of the Planet Earth

Peace Y'all,

It takes something serious sometimes to bring you back to your square. To show forth and prove what is actually important and what is Bull.

I just found out that one of my step mothers is VERY ill with cancer. She just found out that she had breast cancer. The doctors said that she must have had it for a long time because it has metastasized to her bones. To add insult to injury, she has developed congestive heart failure. She is swollen. It was painful for her to move about because of the cancer, but now to superimpose the CHS had her trapped in her home (she lives alone) with only the fire department to break down the door and get her out. Now she is in the hospital on a morphine drip. She's not strong enough to begin chemo. So I suppose the cancer will run through her body until she is ready.

My sister called me this morning to tell me about her mother. I wept. I have 2 stepmothers and have always loved them. This particular SM was with my father so long I don't remember meeting her. My sister and I are roughly the same age and went to the same nursey school. I am close to both my stepmothers and consider their children my sisters. My father said he considered them his daughters as much as I was and provided for them in his will along with me and my brother. When I told my mother about my MS's condition, she paused and broke out into prayer for this woman, who 35 years ago she couldn't stand. These people are family.

I am also really close to my inlaws. I knew my late husband my entire life as well. We grew up in the same church. Our lives had intermingled long before the two of us began dating. We knew each other so well that we only dated 2 months before he proposed. It doesn't take all that. My husband returned to the Essence 7 yeras ago and I still communicate with my inlaws on a regular bases. My nieces and nephews call me Auntie (even the ones my age or older!) and my sisters and brother inlaws still call me "Baby Sis". These people are family

My brother's wife and I don't get along. That's a long damn story and it would be full fo bile and curse words. Y'all don't need to read all that. But let someone outside of our family come at her with some Bull... I will go all out to defend her. She is family.

I reflect Precise Infinite Peace Allah(in case y'all didn't know). We are not legally married. But I will give him everything I have and a few things that I can borrow. You know why? Yep. That Blackman is family.

My boss gave me the fisheye this morning. When my sister told me what was going on with my SM's health, I left my desk for privacy and a stable phone connection. There was no pretense of me doing any work until I had all of the information. When it comes to my family I'm like that. I don't ask for permission, I handle business. In the grand scheme of things, my family comes first. ANYONE I CONSIDER FAMILY. My boss said under his breath "You sure have a lot of family." I got in his face so that he understood I was not playing with him. I said. "Yes I do. And they come first, second and always."


Saturday, April 24, 2010

Knowledge God and Beyond

This probably will be a rant continuation. But it's different and therefore deserves a different post.

I never had problems in high school that I used to watch on TV. You know the ones where there were popular girls and girls who wanted to be popular and all that craziness. I went to a small Catholic school and everyone knew everyone far more intimately than you wanted them to. It didn't help that your entire 8th grade class (that you just spent the last 9 years with) went to high school with you. There were no secrets and there was no hierarchy. Everybody knew everybody and you just dealt with it. Who knew that was the peak of my adult relationships. I have been disappointed since.

I have expected people to behave according to there circumstances. You know... I expect college educated people to behave like they have good sense. Sorority/Fraternity people embody sister/brotherhood toward humanity. Christian people to display the "Christ-Love" they claim they have; or even ask themselves what would Jesus do. I mean they do wear those bracelets to remind themselves, right? And I expect righteous people, people who claim to have KOS, to live Mathematically. I have been frequently let down.

Some would argue, "Who am I to make such a statement?" I am a grown assed woman who says what she means and means what she says. I neither have time nor the inclination for foolishness. I detest messiness and the people who wallow in it. I expect grown people to behave grown. Grown people meet perceived obstacles head on rather than running around behind people's backs.

Alright.... This is not a "Hateful Bitch" rant. I have been pondering why shit works like this for some time. Since I ran into my first individual who seemed to exist out of place. And where as I have no answer for why other folks do as they do, my response to the situation is to avoid said foolishness and said individuals.

And I Really mean the next statement....


Making Trouble Amongst the Righteous People

I don't normally do this. I tend to ignore bullshit. Because since I ain't usually the source, I move away from it so it doesn't get on me. But folks wanna be ignorant (illierate mean to be ignorant)and messy. I have decided to make a particular part of Knowledge Born so folks can explore their options. Shall we?

"....and by not letting the 5% teach them they believe the 10% on face value."

I have a lot of faults, but I don't lie. I'm not a superhero Earth with a big "E" on my headwrap. I don't lie because I don't remember shit. Therefore I wouldn't be able to keep up with said lie. So when I say.... whatever the fuck I said... It's the damn Truth. Case closed. And I care not if you believe me. I don't require that external validation.

Now for all you other people that hear shit, know me personally, though never ask me anything/for clarification/ NO FUCKING THING..... yet take someone else's word aout some shit that doesn't even have anything to do with you? You are full of shit because YOU are taking someone else's emotional rants as fact without doing the Knowledge for Self.

This ain't no apology. I don't need to apologize for bullshit. Got me?


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Woman's Work


I was reading a sewing blog. I love to sew btw, and sew A LOT. Anywho... The topic was on day dresses. Dresses women used to wear in the 30's-50's to handle their household business. The blog showed examples of garments that had potholder, oven mits and aprons as part of the garment! Some women were outraged that the (young and modern) author of the blog seemed to make demeaning comment about being a home maker. (She didn't. I read it twice to make sure. I guess hit dog will holler.) But what got me was the thought that women have it different now than then.

The argument was that women now had the option of being a home maker or working outside the home. Hmmmm.... No. Most of the women I know work because they HAVE too not because they want to. Most of the women I know who aren't working aren't working because they can't find a job. And there really is no Equality in domestic work unless men have that same option. What whould you say if you saw a man who stayed home with or without babies while his wife worked. Is that even allowed?

What I'm saying is this myth that women have all these options is just that. A myth. I had the privelege of being a homemaker for a few years and let me tell you.... I loved it. But the whole time I worked (and it was work) it I knew it wasn't permanent. Today's lifestyle is not suited for one party to stay at home. Things are far too expensive for that to work. Ask one of today's men if they even feel comfortable with the idea of being the sole breadwinner. I won't touch that.

I do have to ask what have women given up since we went to work outside the home in earnest? Women used to live longer than men and there were some chronic illnesses that used to only torment men. Now men live as long as women (or are women's lifespans cut short) and they share the same ailments. Hmmmmm..... Women now have the same stresses as men.

Where do the babies fall in this mishigas? Latch-key-ism is more common than a parent opening the door for children after school. My mother used to feel major guilt about me having to let myself in the house when I was a young girl. Now folks have afterschool care for children. WTH is that? They didn't have that when I was a kid. Afterschool care might have been going to a neighbors's house until Mommie got home. More babies eat microwaved meals than homecooked meals (do people really cook anymore?) because their parents are busy earning their gold. My mother cooked home cooked meals while working 2 jobs until I was a teenager. Then I cooked.

The question is this; are we better now or then? Are women better off? Are men better off? Are are babies being short changed? Is this something we need to consider for our future? Which one was better? Is there a better option?

Here is the blog:
Read the comments that's where things get going.


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

When was the Last Time.....

Yesterday I went up to the pharmacy (in my building) and there was a young couple sitting there. The pharmacy is good for eating lunch. You can view the city, buy snacks or a paper along with all the stuff you find in regular pharmacies.

What caught my eye was that these young people were having sort of a lunch date. Either one of them couldn't have been older than 23 if that. I had to listen just a bit. I overheard from their conversation that they worked in different offices and they were innocently flirting with each other and holding hands. After that knowledge was made born I left them alone to their own devices.

My question is this.... When was the last time you saw a young couple interact like this? I mean all cute and respectful. No tatts, no facial piercings, she wasn't pregnant just all innocent. Now I know that I only observed them for a few minutes. They could be plotting to blow up my building. But I was encouraged to see that this type of male female interaction. I wanted to share.


Saturday, April 17, 2010

Haters Beware

I like fashion. Not only do I like to look good, I take steps to make looking good a reality. BUT.... I get a lot of hate from other women. Not so much so from men. Someone would say boobs take care of that. I’d like to think there is more to it than that. Maybe men care less how I do myself than women. I have not made it secret that I embody 6 sextillion tons.... unapologetically and shamelessly. I find it incredibly interesting (though moot) that other women either have a problem with my wardrobe or seem shocked that I have stylish clothes t wear every day. And I do.

There are sites dedicated to fashionable plus sized women. There are other sites dedicated to larger women and the people who love them. The average American woman is 14-16. (Don't believe me? Google it) So I’m average. But them smaller women have beef.

First, I'd like to squash the “I’m unhealthy” thing. Not everyone is meant to be a size 6. I’ve been a vegetarian for the last 10 years. I walk 1.5 miles daily in my commute to work. I climb over 100 steps with a quickness during that same commute. I have a car, but I take mass transit because it is the right thing to do for the environment. I have no health problems outside of my eczema. Eczema is not weight related. No high blood pressure, no diabetes, no heart disease, no joint problems, no asthma. None of the obesity related illnesses that folks tend to have. My own family has these ailments. I don’t. And I am passed the age where they first began developing them.

So why are folks so shocked when I look good? I have no clue? I manage to find stylish clothing in my size (especially since it is one of the average sizes). I also sew. But most importantly, I innovate. If I see something I would like to wear, I find a way to make it happen. If there is a trend that may not look good on me that I admire, I take the best part for me and use it to my best interests. I know what works on me and what doesn’t. I won’t wear clothes that don’t flatter me.

But that is not all of it. I primp at home so that when I walk out of doors, I KNOW that everything is on point. From headwrap to shoes, everything is intentional and just the way it should be. Now I don’t have to dwell on it. I see women all day pulling and adjusting and arranging themselves. Me? Not so much. I am confident that the effort I made prior is enough to carry me through the day.

My father used to impress upon me the need for a woman to be beautiful on the outside. My mother impressed upon me the need for a woman to have more than her looks to carry her through life. Looks are fading. I have taken the best part from their lessons and come up with my own philosophy. Confidence and Comfort. I own that! I work what I have, but don’t fully rely on my appearance to carry me through. I recognize pretty women get certain perks. I would be lying if I said I’d prefer to be unattractive or that my appearance didn’t matter to me. But I bring more to the table than just a pretty face. And I admit that I work harder at it than thinner women. I have to. But I make no apologies for my effort or the result. And any woman who feels uncomfortable with the result that is “Serenity” should really look at her ownself. More than likely she is neither comfortable or confident in something within herself and she is projecting.


Thursday, April 15, 2010

Religion is......

Religion is defined as belief in a superhuman controlling power and worship of such. The Knol wedge Power degree in the 1-40 defines the 10% as rich bloodsuckers who are on a mission to deceive people. I draw the so-called superhuman power as anything outside of self. Back in the day, when I used to dabble in conjure/rootwork, there was a very prevalent theory that rootwork worked best when all the parties involved believed in it. Otherwise the results could be thrown off. Christian preachers will instruct their parishioners to "pray without ceasing" or "more prayer more power." Does that not seem like tapping into a individuals own power? If that power is inherent why give the credit to an external source?

If you believe that money can fix any problem you might have and go as far as putting it on a pedestal, willing to hurt others or your self to get it, then your religion is money. If your children's wants and desires mean more to you than doing what is right then your children have become your mystery gods. Even if you imbue Supreme Mathematics, 120 and Allah with magical mystical powers that you do not question anything that is within or believe everything that is told to you regarding the Father, then you have converted Allah's 5% Nation of Gods and Earths to a religion in your own mind.

I'm not saying that we should not want money, or not care for our babies or not work to further this Nation's mission. No. What I am saying is we need to be mindful that the mission is not missionary work. Money is a tool to be used to attain the items we want. Our children are little people. Our responsibility is to teach and also train them to become functional adults that make a productive contribution to society. We have no ulterior goal within this Nation other than to bring people into the Knowledge of who they are and civilization. When I hear folks saying that we are full of it because we have no big buildings to point to or massive number to brag about; I have to consider the source. Do they Understand what we teach? What our mission is?

Today's Supreme Mathematics is Knowledge Power abbt Equality. The Supreme Alphabet is Cipher. I See Knowledge as paying attention or AcKnowledging. Power is refers to one's abilities. Equality is balance. Cipher refers to my surroundings.

I draw all this up (Including the Knowledge Power degrees of the 1-36 and 1-40) as the key to maintaining balance in my Cipher (surroundings, job, life in general) has everything to do with being mindful of who ACTUALLY has the Power to affect me in some way. Does a crazy coworker have the ability to affect my job? I suppose yes, but I also have Power to squash the silliness and rise above a bad situation. I also can just leave said job. If another Earth does not like how I live out my righteousness, she has every right to her own opinion. But said opinion is really on her and not necessarily on me. If my family wants to call and tell me that they want nothing to do with me anymore because I am going to hell since I have blasphemed the Holy Ghost then so be it. They have every right to their opinions. But at the end of the day, it is me who has to determine my reaction to the Knowledge made Born. See? In my life... I ... and no one else holds all the cards. And it works that way for other people in their own lives too.

I remember as a child grappling with existential thoughts that all children do... Does the world just exist for me? Will the world end when I die? Of course we know that people die every day all day long and the Earth keeps its 1037 1/3 mph rotation. The Sun Keeps shining. But for that person who dies, everything does stop for them and nothing exists. So the duality is we exist for self and for others because our actions always affect others but are only relevant to us as long as we live. Yeah, I was a weird child.

Serenity Love Sincere Peace Earth is a Righteous Earth according to me (primary) and my God (secondary). That's really all that concerns me in my Universe.

No one can affect you unless you first give them permission.