Wednesday, April 1, 2009

What is Sexy?

I have no idea why I keep blogging on this topic. I suppose it has been more of a subconscious issue than I had given it credit for. But I have to ask. What is Sexy?

The dictionary defines sexy as sexually attractive or stimulating. Hmmm…. That’s vague. My mother says that sexy is putting all your physical assets on display. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. (My mother is a proper, prudent, librarian, sorority (AKA) church lady with clearly, a freaky side) Another person has said that sexy is internal. It’s how stimulating you feel inside. Some folks are like sexy is as sexy does. I guess those are the Gumpians.

A friend of mine showed me a spoof video she had of Middle Eastern Girls Gone Wild. It had women in the full hijab, dancing and wilding out by pulling down their head coverings (not off, down), lifting up their sleeves, and showing their ankles. Had me cracking up. But clearly women who adhere to the hijab style, have a sexiness that is apparent to themselves and the people who appreciate it.

Music videos are famous for showing women in various and sundry levels of undressedness. Now I don’t advocate this as a level of sexiness that women should aspire to or that men should expect, but it does follow the dictionary definition of sexiness. What of it? Should not people do what makes their quality of life acceptable for them?

I never really dressed overtly ‘sexy’. At least according to my own personal definition. I never liked the attention that I received from the male species when my goodies were put on display. My mother said that I just needed to develop thicker skin. I was famous for my baggy boys style. My mother said that it was wrong for me to hide and that I should embrace my God-given attributes. She said that I was giving it power over me and as long as I hid, I’ have something to hide. I get what she was trying to do. At the time it was really hard. But that was then, I’m grown now… and can fight! But I still as an adult never liked sexual attention from men. For real. I’d prefer a man to be attracted to me because I’m smart, funny, witty, any other reason rather than that I have big titties, a fat ass and look like I’d be good at whatever. Nope. SMH. But of course someone is accusing me of sexual, visual enticement. I have come to learn that you cannot and should not satisfy others. Others can’t be satisfied. But you can be. So make that the goal and screw everyone else.

I see how men look at women with their goodies hanging out. IMO both parties are at fault. And I certainly do not advocate the concept that women should amend their behavior in order to control a man’s behavior. Parties should control their own behavior. But there is a disturbing trend now a days. It has become the rule and not the exception to show way more skin than to not show it. I see more cleavage these days then I ever did than when I was younger. Women don’t even try to find appropriate under garments any longer. They just slap themselves in whatever they want to wear; doesn’t matter if it fits, and go on their merry way. Men are no better with their either too tight or too loose outfits. And who gave the impression that throwback jerseys are cute? People with modesty are frowned upon as weirdos. Indeed. I have a friend who has a problem with my self imposed modesty. She thinks it’s a sign of poor self esteem. Ah… no…. It’s about me keeping the goodies for my God. I do not want to be every man’s sexual fantasy.

Yet I feel incredibly sexy. And since I feel it, I am it. That’s my logic. I’m certain them half naked women feel sexy also and this is not to take anything away from them, I suppose I’m saying in a convoluted way that sexiness is an internal vibe for me. It is that which makes me feel confident and alluring. And I’m done.



Steez said...

I feel you. In reality, sexy is a subjective term. If you ask 100 people what it is you will get 100 different answers. But as long as you feel good, i guess it doesnt matter much about the other 99 people. Also sexiness seems to be something that permeates whatever method you use to subdue it. Which is why hijab never made much sense. You can cover Halle Berry from head to toe but the sexy vibe will shine through. which is also why half naked chicks dont make much sense either.

Precise said...

Sexy is breaking down the day's mathematics at the most precarious times. :-p