A PSA --- For the Mens...

Peace Family!

I was building or having a conversation with a God who shall remain nameless..... And I realize that some of y'all men are clueless to the hows and whys the ladies get down. Especially you men that grew up without sisters. Well, my duty as a civilized person is to make knowldege born so I'm a hip y'all men up on a few things. Can't tell you everything. I will get exiled from the sisterhood. But I will share a few jewels.

Shoes...
These are necessary for better homes and gardens. Women's shoes are not like mens shoes. Men shoes fall into dress shoes, boots/work shoes and gym shoes. That's it. Since all the heels are essentially the same size (unless you are Prince), the only variation is the color. Women's shoes come in multiple necessary categories. Flats, pumps, heels, boots/sandals and sneakers. I count 5 categories for which you need several colors. Flats are for social activities. A lot of women can do this in heels, but eventually you need to come down off that high. Pumps are for work. Flats and stiletto heels are usually inappropriate in the corporate environments. Boots are for cool weather as sandals are for warm. Plus there are boots for dresses and boots for pants. They are NOT the same. Sneakers are for exercise and the stilettos are for y'all menfolk. You MUST have all these in black and then add on all the other colors. That easily takes you to starting around 20-30 pairs of shoes for starters.

These are must haves, not luxuries. Case closed. And then there are different shoe wardrobes for summer vs winter. Let me give you the benefit of my Culture Cipher years... If your feet hurt, your screwed. There is no way to avoid the discomfort and said discomfort will cause personality distortions. Corns and bunions are real! Hammertime! Don't buy cheap shoes. I recognize that you may need a quick payless pair for a single event. But don't continue to keep wearing bad for your feet shoes. Your feet pretty much stay the same size once your completely grown and are done having children. So acquiring and caring for good shoes is a wise investment.

Purses...
I realize men don't understand this because they don't carry purses. Let me explain one simple thing, that I'm not sure men understand. Women don't throw away purses. There is no need to. They don't really wear out because you are constanty swapping them out. I think I may have lost 3 bags to wear. They were woven bags and I really didn't expect them to hold up. Because purses don't get discarded (though we might give some away and they do get stolen), we tend to accumulate. In high school, I had 1 purse. I wasn't into them back then. In college I received my 1st designer bags. In grad school I started my true acquisition which has continued to this day. I have gotten to the point where I have bags for whatever I need to do. I have nearly 75 bags. But that is over a 25 year period. That's just 3 a year and I'm including special occasion bags and wristlets. There are shoulder bags, clutches, totes, handbags and many more types. We need them all. There is no such thing as a the single black bag that can be worn with everything and at all times. The bag I wear to work that holds all my stuff, my lunch and my shoes is not the same bag that I will carry to the opera or even on the weekends. So the get 1 bag and that's it philosphy I hear from y'all must cease. Just like with all articles of clothing there are bags that you carry in the summer and bags you carry in the winter. And again it is a must have and not a luxury. More that a few times, men will ask if I have something in my purse that they can't carry in their pockets or hand me their wallets to carry in my bag.

Jewelry....
there was a time when I was satisfied with 1 pair of earrings, 1 necklace, 1 ring and 1 bracelet. I was 6. Now a days, I expect more. There are gold days, and silver days, there are colorful days and pearl occasions. Seriously, don't expect me to wear the same pair of earring (or whatever) for the rest of my life. That sounds crazy because it is crazy.


I've been tongue and cheek here but really I'm very serious. There are aspect to being a woman that we hold very near and dear to our hearts. Men often look at how we do and act like we are being excessive when we aren't. I have noticed that men don't consider that women have different needs from them. Food, clothing, shelter and medical attention; that's all anybody needs. Nope. I NEED to have certain acoutremonts. If I don't get them, I won't be happy. If Mommy isn't happy, no one is happy. And I don't go into hock with my collections. Nope. My advice to ypunger women when they are just starting out and they don't have true bills yet, is to purchase the really good stuff. Good purses, good jewellry, Good coats, things that last. Eventually, life kicks in and you can't always afford the niceties. This way you can look moneyed even when your busted. It was a piece of advice I took, and it has served me well.

The whole idea of practical gifting is ridiculous. I could see a pracrical gift if I was not just broke, but assed out too. No job, no home, no friends, no car, nothing. Then anything is assistence. But a vacuum cleaner is not a gift. You would buy a vacuum cleaner whenever you needed one. Just because one breaks near my bornday, don't think I will be happy with a replacement as a gift. If you insist, then I want a brand new Kirby... with ALL the attachements. They finance.



Peace