Monday, October 11, 2010

Marry your Baby Daddy!

Peace family,

Did you know there was an out-of-wedlock birthing epidemic in the Black community? Apparently there is a statistic that is running through the news/TV/Internet that says that 70% of Black children currently being born. Really? Who's business is this?

Let us not forget the statistic that 50% of college educated Black women will never be married. Does that mean that those 50% of educated, working women, who can afford to raise children... well... should not be allowed to? Really?

My question is this... Who the hell are these people to tell grown people what to do with their lives? I mean if it's babies having babies, then yes, there should be some type of intervention. But last time I checked, (a) it was not illegal for grown folks to have consensual sex, (b) It was not illegal for grown people to have children and (c) the Constitution has guaranteed the "pursuit of happiness."

Now lets look at this movement, shall we? If all the women who had children outside of marriage were to marry their children's father's... What should they do it they have multiple father's for their children? I mean if a woman has 3 or more children, then she could theoretically have 3 or more fathers for said children? And the Father's too! Men can (and do) have multiple "Baby's Mamas." Which one do you marry? What if a woman/man has a child with a person that is already married? Do you commit bigamy? Polygamy? Polyandry?

Why are people so certain that children who are born through marriage turn out better? My parents were married. I got in on the tail of that relationship. I didn't have the pleasure of being raised in a home with two parents. I don't even remember it. But my brother is nearly 10 years my elder. He did. Between the both of us, I had the better relationship with my father. And my brother is loaded with anger and angst since he was an eye witness to the dissolution of my parent's relationship. But he is better off because he had the benefit of a two-parent home?

Just because my parents didn't make it, didn't mean that my father neglected his paternal responsibility. He paid his fair share for us. Did right by us. We saw him whenever we wanted. Sometimes when we didn't want to. He ate meals with us, had keys to our home, chaperoned trips and spanked us when it was warranted. But I'm screwed up because he didn't sleep in the house?

I'm not saying that 2-parent homes are unnecessary. I'm not saying there is no value in being raised by 2 parents. What I am saying is that people need to mind their own damn business and get out of grown people's beds. People have been having and raising children out-of-wedlock for years. Slavery existed for centuries and ALL the children were born without the benefit of marriage. But we are still here flourishing to make babies. Gay people are allowed to raise children without the benefit of marriage. Are all those children doomed too? And what about parents that have healthy relationships with their children and aren't married? Those poor children like me (raised by a single mother, yet I have 2 degrees, was married, am a homeowner, and I thought a productive member of society until now) doomed to grow up and be drains on society. Like 2 parent homes are a prerequisite to success and functionality. You know, serial killers tend to be raised in 2-parent homes. There is no guarantee that the 2-parent home is functional.

If you feel the need to marry your Baby Daddy, I will throw rice at the wedding. But don't come knocking on my door expecting me to acquiesce to your opinions.

Mind your own business!