Pride and Prejudice

Peace People.

I was watching the Real Housewives of DC and there was this gay man that held a meeting with some of the wives to get there support on the gay marriage issue. Of course there were people there were like "Oh yeah!!!" and other folks who were like, "Marriage is only between a man and a woman!" Both responses were expected. The most interesting thing that transpired was the reaction that one of the gay men present gave, when his friend said, "I hadn?t really given it much thought since it doesn't apply to me." The gay man got truly angry and krusty. He was angrier at her than he was the people that said man and woman only. Mmmm...

I am neither pro, nor anti gay. I am not gay. So I too, never decided to develop an opinion on this issue. If I develop an opinion it will alienate folks. Not that I'm afraid too. I have offended many people before and will continue. Why offend when you don't have to. But the more I think about it, and I have been thinking about it, the more I feel I need to stand somewhere on this issue.

Another thing that happened during the same time frame that is kind of related was the God and I got a joint check account. The agent assumed we were married. When we told him we weren't, that we were domestic partners, he got a bit squirrelly. I could tell that he lost respect for us initially, but after speaking to us more on the nature of our relationship and who we were (our pedigree) I could tell that we had regained his respect. All of this together got me thinking. Being neutral is not an option.

Gay people compare their current struggle to the civil rights movement. That always seemed silly to me. I'm not sure if Gay people choose to be Gay. Many marry and have children and then seem to have a conversion. Again, I'm not Gay and I have no clue regarding all the ins and outs of how it's done. I was born Black and can't hide it. I'm that Black. It is what it is. To deny people rights based on a skin color is not right and exact. But I do agree to deny someone rights based on what they do consensually in the privacy of their own bedrooms doesn't seem right and exact either.

But what rights are Gay people not getting? I have heard from others that Gay people want the rights that everyone else has. What don't they have? They cannot be denied work based on their sexual preference as Black people once were. If someone beats them up, then it's a hate crime. Applies the same to Black people. If push comes to shove, they can easily pass for straight. The only thing that is different is the domestic part. Marriage and sometimes children.

In many states Gay couples are allowed to adopt. Not every one, but many. And most people know the loopholes on this to make it work. Adopt a child in one state and move to another. Gay people also want to legally marry. Okay? I suppose this is to legitimize their relationships under the eyes of the law. Again, as someone who was once legally married and currently choosing to not be legally married, but have the same relationship, I don't see the lure. Why legal marriage? What's wrong with a civil union? The only reason I see is adoption and health benefits. Those are the only things that cannot be compensated for.

Why do I feel qualified to say this? In my current status of domestic partnershiping, I have come to many road blocks. There is a lot the God and I can't do. We had to switch car insurance policies because our original policies wouldn't allow us on the same policy unless we were married. But we found one. Another thing is our possessions. My 1st died with no will. As his only heir I inherited all his belongings and money because legally that is the hierarchy. But the God and I recognize that that won't work for us and we will have to have wills and power of attorneys so that the government can know our intentions. As non-married individuals we cannot adopt. But then... we don't really need too. And we aren't eligible to be on each other's health insurance; but a lot of same sexers have this right. What I'm saying is there are lots of people who are marginalized by the government.

This argument will lead people to say, "But y'all can marry if you want to." But why should we if it's not part of our culture? Not a lot of Gods and Earths marry. Some do. Most don't. 11:11 says if we say we are going to stay together, then we will. We don't need the government's stamp of approval. And we have accepted that we have to pay higher taxes for the pleasure. So it's not so easy to say, "Just get married."

The bigger issue is this... Gay people are in a minority. Just like Black people. Gay people alone will not be able to affect the changes that they seek. Civil rights didn't just happen because all the Black people in the wilderness of North America fought for it. White folks fought for it too. Obama didn't just get elected because every Black person in this country voted for him. white people voted for him too. And Gay people aren't going to get their changes if only they fight for it. Straight people will have to get involved too.

Do I think that homosexuality is perfectly okay? That Gay people are born that way? Do I have to? My cee on it is? folks have the right to do their own damn thing as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. And the government is not a legal tit that we all must suckle from.



Peace

Store-Bought Health

Peace,

I wrote this last week. It was full of deep contemplation and emotional angst. Some how some wehere it got lost in the internet oblivion. Normally, when that happens, I move on and say it wasn't meant to post. But it really bears repeating. I just hope I can generate enough bile to make my point.....

There is a pheonomen I see all the time. And quite frankly, I'm sick of it.I go to the health food store. And the health food store I frequent is a co-op where the food is at always vegetarian, mostly organic and sometimes vegan. Clearly not Whole Foods. This co-op has not only foods, but herbs, books, canldes, incense, oils, clothes, etc. It could be considered a botanica of sorts. Invariably I will see and hear someone ask an employee if they carry ---insert herb/tea here---.

Now let me explain why I'm pissed.... This co-op are the earthy type. You know the ones where the employees and patrons have loc'ed hair, wear Birkenstocks, hemp or thrift store clothes, no makeup, you know. The people asking are the high heeled, made up, perm having folks who seem to think that by using 1 herb/tea all their health problems will be solved. It doesn't work like that.

I know these people. These are the people who are so western in their thinking that they believe that every modality works the same way. It doesn't. You can not correct a problem by just taking 1 herb. Before you allow anything into your body (and I do mean anything) you should thoroughly research it first. One needs to know how a substance works. I am certain if more people did their own research rather than take their doctors word at face value folks would not take perscription meds as they do.

Example..... I used to have raging gastric reflux. So much in fact, it had begun to erode my esophagus. I went to a sort of traditional doctor (she had an ND in addition to a MD), and she perscribed me a medication that cost $120 for a months supply with my insurance kicking in on it. It bothered me so I complied. After being on the drug for about 2 months, and having all kinds of side effects due to the meds, I asked the doctor when I could be done with it. She said never. Yeah... Not gonna work for me. So I put in the research. I found that an increase of my water inake, a loss of 10 lbs, cessation of coffee and cigarettes, and slippery elm would be effective. I ain't gonna lie, I did everything else only decreased my coffee and cigarettes. But it was enough for my reflux to sunside. And I only took the slippery elm for a month before I saw results. And now I'm good.

See the the problem is in these peoples approach is not correct. There is no miracle drug, except maybe water. If one wants optimum health one has to take responsibility for one's one health. You are the best knower of you. You have to educate yourself on the different healing modalities available and institue life changes. Then you need to be able to step back and evaluate whether it is working for you You aren't going to cure asthma by drinking yogi asthma tea. You aren't going to ward off colds with vitamin c supplements. You aren't going to reverse diabetes if all you take is cinnamon or cure MS with tumeric. I know you have read that it could work but it won't all by itself. You WILL need to make lifestyle choices.one must build and destroy.

Another example.... I became a vegetarian in 2000. I had been diagnosed with uterine fibroids. My mother had them and they led to a hyterectomy for her. It became my determined idea to keep my uterus and keep it intact. I did research in the hospital's (that I was working for at the time) medical library. I found that (a) it was hereditary, (b) afflicted Black women more frequently, (c) was linked to obesity, because the fat contains high amounts estrogen; so everytime a fat cell is burned it will release estrogen which in turn will stimulate the fibroids growth, (d) ingesting animals meant ingesting THEIR estrogen. Most animals we eat are females and have their own estrogen in their fat. And (e) firbroid growth is stress related. OK. That's a lot of shit. I can't do anything about the heredity part or being Black. But all the other stuff I can work on.

So I stopped eating meat. I lost weight. To see me now you wouldn't think it, but I have been bigger. Much bigger. Being a successful vegertarian opened me up to other things. I stopped using traditional soap. Its not cool to eat meat, but it's cool to bathe in it? I learned about other healing modalities like Ayurveda. Ayurveda lead me to yoga and meditation. Both of whichh aided my stress relief. In gaining control of my body, I gained control of my mind and got the confidence to leave Christianity behind as I had wanted for a minute. I am a completely different person, literally and figuratively, than I was 10 years ago. I barely recognize myself. I didn't just go into a helath food store looking for a supplement.

Now some of y'all are asking, what's the big deal? It can't hurt. Yeah, it can. These people will meet with unsuccessful results and then get very loud mouthed about how it doesn't work. Then they will influence others and institue changes that will limit access for those of us that know how to properly use herbs. Then you will have all kinds of regualtions applied and the availibility will decrease. Used to be all one had to do to be an herbalist was to study. Now one has to be certified.

Example....My mother has a pharmacy of drugs that she has to take everyday at different times. She is proud that she has great retired teacher's health insurance that will pay for whatever she needs. Mommie has all kinds of health problems. You name it, she's taking something for it. She heard that cinnamon is a good supplement for diabetes. So she goes off the the health food store for cinnamon. She can't get it from the grocery store? She found only loose cinnamon that she had to put in capsules herself. I suppose they had to go into capsules rather than just pouring some in her tea or in plain water so it would really seem like a drug. Well... It didn't help her diabetes. I suppose the 1/2 gallon of ice cream that she eats 2/week or all the bread, crackers and cookies she ingests had nothing to do with it. She heard cinnamon helps and when it didn't help her, ALL alternative meds are quackery. And she tells me I must be mentally unstable for using this as my primary healing modality. Yeah... But I ain't sick.

Another thing that offends me, is these uniformed people are making a mockery of my chosen lifestyle. Now I don't have a specific name for how I live, but I have reasons for every change that I have made. Everything has been tried and found effective. It it didn't work for me, and not everything does, I discarded it. But I don't judge or clown folks that it does work for. We are all different and everything aint for everybody. These interlopers insult our way of life by dismissing it and treating us like we are less informed, less insured, less financed and idiotic.

That has been my soapbox rant for the morning. Go back to what you were doing.




Peace.

My Cee On It

Peace Good People,

There is a phenomenon that occurs without people knowing that it occurs. I noticed it. I'm special (LOL!). And I just want to make knowledge born so that others notice as well.

Everyone does not see everything as you see it.

That was my big revelation. I bet you thought you already knew that. Are you sure? Let me give some example because people don't get this....

1.) I have decided to no longer purchase white bras. I made that decision about 5 years ago. I still have white bras, but I only wear them when I have exhausted my stash of colored bras. My mother and I were in a store and I was looking at some bras. People around me are always so concerned about my boob height. My mother pointed out some that she thought would be good for me. I looked through them, but they were all white. I told her that I don't buy white bras anymore. She dismissed me and said, "Everyone wears white bras."

Okay, this is a problem for me. Since I'm not planning on ever wearing them once the ones I have tear up, then that means every one does not wear white bras. I am a brown seed. If I wear a white bra, it is under an opaque garment otherwise you would see said bra. Isn't the goal of under garments to not be noticeable? I don't need for people to be able to 'see' my bra through clothes. I don't need to prove that I have one on either. I have also heard other Black folks say that a white bra makes you look 'cleaner' than if you had a black bra on. That's just some ingrained self-racism right there.

2.) I do not go to church. Everyone doesn't go to church. That does not make me a thief, or a child molester, or druggie, or a prostitute or any damn thing. I just don't go to church. That's it

3.) I mange the office I am responsible for. I manage it my way. When my boss or coworkers (none of which actually work in my department) and they see how I handle my business, they always have suggestions. I listen, and explain why that doesn't work. I don't understand why people who are just looking in act like they are telling my something I haven't already tried or at the very least considered. YET..... My office is the most efficient department in the company. Hmmmm..... Kiss my ass!

Need I go on?

Good people, if you see something that you don't understand, or see people behaving in a way you wouldn't. There is nothing under the Sun that all people do the EXACT same way. And embrace diversity. Diversity is good. Do the knowledge before you get in the faces of folks with regard to your own opinion.



Peace

Let's Build

Peace Y'all,

I'm not sure if I'm a post this. I don't post everything I write. I actually wrote this over a month ago. Seriously, I write nearly everyday. I find it cathartic. But I wait some hours, sometimes some days (clearly months) and decide whether I post what I wrote. I have like 3 posts looking at me that haven't made the cut. I even have poetry and sketches all chilling in the cut. Y'all won't ever see that, though. And if you do, it will be under an assumed name. My poetry sucks. Just thought I'd share that bit of information with you. Okay on to the Build.....

Whenever someone comes at me... and you can see the look in their eyes when they are planning their attack... and says to me, "Let's Build" I smile.... And I pause... And I Knowledge the Cipher... G's and E's kill me with that.

I need to preface this with defining what I mean when I say Build. I mean when folks discuss serious and relevant topics. Not when G's and E's are just shooting the breeze. I have heard 'Building' described both ways. And I have used the term both ways. I just want to clarify what I'm referring to.

I don't have a problem 'Building' with people. Nope not at all. I love listening to the perspective of others and sharing my cee on things. Sometimes I agree with them; sometimes I don't. Everybody has their own perspectives on things. The God stressed to me the need for me to be on point with degrees and if I don't know, simply say I don't know yet and let it go rather than come up with some spontaneous bullshit. So I ain't scurred to Build with folk. But my boundaries are drawn based on their intentions.....

If some God comes in a warm, damn near hot assed current, trying to get all up in my mental mind, using the pretense of Building to learn the diameter of this Earth, I'm not having going there. I don't need that. This is not my 1st time at the cookout. I'm old enough and experienced enough to get out of that situation. It's not like this is particular to this Nation.

I really dislike when folks come at you with a peaceful countenance and shit in their eyes. They come at you like you are intent on elevation but their elevation is contingent on breaking you down and standing on your back. They want your 'cee' on a subject so they can rip and shred it, your ass and your dignity to pieces. Who are you? A doctor coming to qualify me? I think not. SMH. My question is why? What is to be gained by this type of interaction? Is your self esteem so nonexistent that you need to feed on others? Peace Y'all,

That's not gonna work on me. Know why? First of all.... I'm not a virgin. Folks have been jumping all over me reguarly. And they continue daily trying. Better, smarter, more attractive, richer, whatever people and my family have tried to attack me and force feed their issues have been unsuccessful. Secondly, I generally see it coming and have already come up with an exit. I will either not stay to listen to the BS or I will just ignore you because you don't matter. No one can hurt me unless I first give them permission.

So back the Original question of Why? Why do folks take pleasure in trying to humiliate someone they call their righteous brother or sister? That is not civilized. I have heard G's and E's brag about how they snatch a flag off someone's chest. I'm not saying that should never happen. Folks wear flags they haven't earned. But to take someone's flag because you disagree with their cee on things, ain't right.

Well... My flag is still intact.



Peace!

Culture Cipher - The Orientation

Peace Y'all,

Guess what? I will be Culture Cipher in about Wisdom months. There I said it. Maybe not in the Queen's English, but I have made Knowledge Born.

I have a huge problem with getting middle aged. And maybe it's not middle aged since I plan to live to be Knowledge Cipher Equality. I knew I wasn't gonna remain a moon forever. I have long since moved away from childish concerns. I have been done with school since I was Wisdom Power, I already own a home, I have traveled the world. I have done most of the things that I want to do.... As I was supposed to. The time has come to knuckle down and enjoy life. Retirement will be her in Wisdom Power years... Maybe

OK.....

When I turned Understanding Cipher.... I didn't handle it well. I was a savage and cried all day. I found my 1st gray hair that day as well. I'm older now and civilized. But I am a bit of a Divine Rule Allah Master Allah 17 so I'm thinking there will NOT be a fine mist, but heavy icy ones with rain hail snow and earthquakes. Some folks are good with Big borndays I am not....

When I turned Understanding Culture no one gave me the orientation. No one! That's dirty. I'm a put it out there for all my peoples who are approaching or in their Understanding Ciphers....
1. You will have aches and pains in places that you weren't messing with. Many a morning I wake up and I'm like, "what's going on over there"
2. You do not awake beautiful and dewy
3. You need to give serious consideration to your skin. Meaning you need to find and start using a night and eye cream. Don't forget your neck.
4. Decide on children. If your a woman, and you want children, you will be hassled to no end if you let this decade slip by and you don't have them. Anything after Understanding Power is considered Advanced Maternal Age. Shit!
5. Naps. You need them now. There is no working all day and partying all night anymore. Them grown and sexy parties need to start at 6pm. I fall asleep so early now and get up so early that I swear this is how it starts. Old people waking up with the chickens.
6. Food turns on you. I used to be able to eat what I wanted, how I wanted, but now I look at food for what it's going to do to me... heartburn, constipation, gas, etc.
7. You need to start saving money now if you plan to retire comfortably at age 65.
8. You NEED health/dental/vision insurance. It is not optional anymore.
9. Stairs suck
10. If you haven't started a bad habit, drinking, smoking, weed, don't start.
11. You ain't got no business drinking malt liquor. Find your grown person beverage and stick with it. You can no longer just drink for sport. You will get sick. And it ain't cute or funny at this age. You will go the looney bin or jail if the police find you with alcohol poisoning. o one ever mentioned that it's illegal.
12. If you go to clubs, make sure there is food and chairs. I demand my money back if I go to a venue and there isn't food or a place to sit. And damn, they have gotten loud.....
13. I used to be able to lose weight at will in the specific location I wanted. Not anymore.....
14 Your pubes turn gray!

Don't get it twisted. I'm still fine and plan on staying fine, but I tell you. This decade ain't no joke!

As the Culture Cipher's approach, I have made some observations...
1. You should have your style down packed by now.
2. You should have your habits established by now.
3. You should not only know where you're going but either be there or on your way.
4. If you are going to quit a bad habit, do so early in this decade. You have more of a chance for the body to regenerate
5. Remember that you aren't young, yet not old. You don't need to be wearing the same clothes or partying with Wisdom Ciphers. AGE APPROPRIATENESS!!!!
6. Don't try to use the current slang. You will look and sound ridiculous
7. Force yourself to keep up with the current technological advances. Do not slip into geezer-hood or act all confused.
8. No more sports cars. They are hard to get out of
9. Exercise is sooooo much more freaking important than it ever has been.
10. Accept that your body is changing. I currently am standing on my mother's thighs. I don't know how this happened, but it has. What is she standing on?
11. You will look more like your parents every day. You already behave and speak like them. Might as well complete the Cipher
12. Consider light/mild plastic surgery. Save the big stuff for the Power Ciphers.

I welcome suggestions from the other grown folk

On November 10th, at 8:31 am, I will officially be....

Wish me luck. I know there isn't any shame in getting older,but I expect there will need to be copious amount of alcohol to get me through this.



Peace

Not Valued

Peace,

When I was a young girl, and old enough to know some things, my mother tried to instill in me her version of being a proper woman. What a lady does and doesn't. What she allows and doesn't allow. The one thing that never took hold within was her concept of virtue. I never understood why it was important for a woman to not have sex. I mean it is a natural drive and how else are you to make babies. Clones?

I attended Christian and Catholic schools up until I went to college. I went to church as soon as the doors opened. Again, the churches stance is abstinence for women. (The priests and preachers were steady getting their freak on) Nothing else will do. The Catholic church even frowns on recreational sex for married people! Really? How are you gonna enforce that?

I had an older brother and 2 older uncles that lived in our home. I noticed that the rules Mommie gave me didn't apply to them. I thought is was because they were older, but by the time I got to the age of my brother (y'all know what I mean), I learned what a double standard was.

I didn't then and still don't now understand what the value is in a female's celebitic virtue?

That being said, does not mean that I am now or was ever a big hoe. Nope. I did/do understand that chicks who put themselves out there got treated bad by everyone including their own people. If they wanted respect, they had to move far away and start over. Plus I didn't want a boy/man sweating and breathing in my face. But.... if I wanted to, and I trusted the boy/man, I might. And having 3 men waiting to beat the stank out of a boy/man that wronged their kinfolk was good for me too.

But why? Why is a woman with lots of sexual partners a bad thing but men with lots of sexual partners is normal? Who are these experienced men sexing? Why is it the highest honor for a man to de-flower a virgin or marry one? It's not for good sex. It must be because they have no game and don't want to have to admit it.

Now I am at the age where I can consider that I might have children one day and how do I explain this to my young Earths and Gods if I don't understand it myself. Do I tell my daughter what I was told? "Lay there and take it" or "Sex is the price women pay for marriage and marriage is the price men pay for sex." or do I just fess up and say, "I don't know." the best part is that kids are sexually exposed so young now a days that you have to do something heinous like give birth on a stripper pole, high on cocaine, at the age of 12 to get a bad reputation. Still I am confused......

It's not just sex that confuses me; I don't see the value in poverty, eceticism or fame either. But those are Builds for another day....



Peace

Stress Sucks!

Peace Y'all!

A few months ago... like July... The God and I were in the grocery store. We were joking around and having fun as is our custom. This old woman walked up to us and asked us if we were together. We confirmed that we were. She then asked us if we were wanting to have children. A very odd and nosy question for a stranger to ask don't you think? But we were in a playful warm current so we obliged her question. She told us to not think about it and just enjoy the interaction. If I got tight then nothing would happen. Okay. I dismissed what she said as a root work. I'm a scientist and a health care professional. Even though this old woman reported having 9 biological children of her own, what do I need her advice for? I know how to get pregnant... right?

Another one of my friends who has 3 children (we are the same age) told me essentially the same thing. She said if you are stressed, the internal structures are too tight to receive life. Humph! What does she know?

My 24 year old child free niece and I were in the mall. And there where all these pregnant young women walking around. I looked at all these chick and I said very flippantly, "Why are all these girls pregnant and I'm not?" Neicey said, "I don't think they are intentionally trying."

All three of these unrelated people have gotten me to do some research. And my conclusion.... Stress Sucks!

My research has taken me to various and sundry sites that have scientific studies to back up their claims that being stressed, mentally and physically, can reek havoc on the body. You can litterally kill yourself from being too tense. I know y'all have heard the urban myth of a man and baby falling from a building and the baby survived but the man didn't because the man tensed up during the drop. That has got to be an urban myth. Has to be!

Stress causes problems. It causes you to make bad decisions and second guess your self. It causes you to distrust others. That's not always bad, but it can be. Stress Keeps you awake at night, therefore making you not 100% the subsequent day. Stress and worrying about shit has never done me a solid... Ever!

Physically stress can cause all kinds of internal problems. I will share my experiences. I got diagnosed with fribroids when I was 29. Okay. A lot of Black women have them. I knew they were coming because my mother had them bad enough to require a hysterectomy. They stayed the same size for years.... until I took a shitty job. Them my almond sized tumors grew to the size of oranges... Each! And caused my uterus to detach on one side. I hated that job so much that my nose used to bleed on the way to work everyday. But days I didn't go, my nose stayed dry. Yeah I made a lot of money, but I was ridiculously stressed there. I'm good and healthy now that I don't work there.

Even in grad school, I stressed out there like a fiend. I developed irritable bowel, a noticible facial tick, and had pneumonia twice. All those issues miraculously disappeared once I graduated.

You know the Christian Bible does ask the question why stress, because it doesn't do anything positive for you(Mat 6:27). Meaning it doesn't pay the bills. I can take the best part. And I have come to learn that the Universe moves toward order rather than chaos. Religious people like to stress you out by having you believe the opposite. But their book also says all things work out for good (Romans 8:28).

So what now? I am actively trying to relax.Employing meditation and other relaxation techniques. And not just to conceive. People conceive while being raped. I'm sure those women were stressed at the time. But just for my own peace of mind. I noticed that when I hear a song that takes me back to my childhood, when all I had to worry about was schoolwork, will truly relax me and clear my head. I feel 16 again. That is a real relaxing moment although fleeting. If I can get those fleeting moments to occur more frequently, yet stay grounded in the present (I despise people that live in the past) and find effective ways to truly deal with stress I'll be a kinder gentler Serenity.



Peace