Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Culture Cipher - The Orientation

Peace Y'all,

Guess what? I will be Culture Cipher in about Wisdom months. There I said it. Maybe not in the Queen's English, but I have made Knowledge Born.

I have a huge problem with getting middle aged. And maybe it's not middle aged since I plan to live to be Knowledge Cipher Equality. I knew I wasn't gonna remain a moon forever. I have long since moved away from childish concerns. I have been done with school since I was Wisdom Power, I already own a home, I have traveled the world. I have done most of the things that I want to do.... As I was supposed to. The time has come to knuckle down and enjoy life. Retirement will be her in Wisdom Power years... Maybe


When I turned Understanding Cipher.... I didn't handle it well. I was a savage and cried all day. I found my 1st gray hair that day as well. I'm older now and civilized. But I am a bit of a Divine Rule Allah Master Allah 17 so I'm thinking there will NOT be a fine mist, but heavy icy ones with rain hail snow and earthquakes. Some folks are good with Big borndays I am not....

When I turned Understanding Culture no one gave me the orientation. No one! That's dirty. I'm a put it out there for all my peoples who are approaching or in their Understanding Ciphers....
1. You will have aches and pains in places that you weren't messing with. Many a morning I wake up and I'm like, "what's going on over there"
2. You do not awake beautiful and dewy
3. You need to give serious consideration to your skin. Meaning you need to find and start using a night and eye cream. Don't forget your neck.
4. Decide on children. If your a woman, and you want children, you will be hassled to no end if you let this decade slip by and you don't have them. Anything after Understanding Power is considered Advanced Maternal Age. Shit!
5. Naps. You need them now. There is no working all day and partying all night anymore. Them grown and sexy parties need to start at 6pm. I fall asleep so early now and get up so early that I swear this is how it starts. Old people waking up with the chickens.
6. Food turns on you. I used to be able to eat what I wanted, how I wanted, but now I look at food for what it's going to do to me... heartburn, constipation, gas, etc.
7. You need to start saving money now if you plan to retire comfortably at age 65.
8. You NEED health/dental/vision insurance. It is not optional anymore.
9. Stairs suck
10. If you haven't started a bad habit, drinking, smoking, weed, don't start.
11. You ain't got no business drinking malt liquor. Find your grown person beverage and stick with it. You can no longer just drink for sport. You will get sick. And it ain't cute or funny at this age. You will go the looney bin or jail if the police find you with alcohol poisoning. o one ever mentioned that it's illegal.
12. If you go to clubs, make sure there is food and chairs. I demand my money back if I go to a venue and there isn't food or a place to sit. And damn, they have gotten loud.....
13. I used to be able to lose weight at will in the specific location I wanted. Not anymore.....
14 Your pubes turn gray!

Don't get it twisted. I'm still fine and plan on staying fine, but I tell you. This decade ain't no joke!

As the Culture Cipher's approach, I have made some observations...
1. You should have your style down packed by now.
2. You should have your habits established by now.
3. You should not only know where you're going but either be there or on your way.
4. If you are going to quit a bad habit, do so early in this decade. You have more of a chance for the body to regenerate
5. Remember that you aren't young, yet not old. You don't need to be wearing the same clothes or partying with Wisdom Ciphers. AGE APPROPRIATENESS!!!!
6. Don't try to use the current slang. You will look and sound ridiculous
7. Force yourself to keep up with the current technological advances. Do not slip into geezer-hood or act all confused.
8. No more sports cars. They are hard to get out of
9. Exercise is sooooo much more freaking important than it ever has been.
10. Accept that your body is changing. I currently am standing on my mother's thighs. I don't know how this happened, but it has. What is she standing on?
11. You will look more like your parents every day. You already behave and speak like them. Might as well complete the Cipher
12. Consider light/mild plastic surgery. Save the big stuff for the Power Ciphers.

I welcome suggestions from the other grown folk

On November 10th, at 8:31 am, I will officially be....

Wish me luck. I know there isn't any shame in getting older,but I expect there will need to be copious amount of alcohol to get me through this.



Flying Mermaid said...

Well, damn, woman, I consider this a shout out! You know I enjoy growing older -- even while struggling with an easily collapsible body -- and my 40's felt as much more free and easy to me than my 30's, as my 30's did to my 20's before.

We share something that might make you feel the same -- an ability to piss people off without even trying, simply by speaking our minds. For me, anyway, though I act the same, each decade drags me that much closer to being acceptable, possibly because I'm more likely to be considered charmingly eccentric than evil and wrong.

May you find this, too......