Wednesday, September 29, 2010


Peace Family,

I am re-reading Queen Afua's book Sacred Woman. I read this book right before I turned Understanding Cipher. I was such a Christian. This book actually frightened me. I read many good ideas and lifestyle changes, I was scared to implement them. I was certain I was blaspheming the Holy Spirit and white Jesus would smite me. Teehee. Also I knew NOTHING about khemitic philosophy. Not saying I'm an expert now, but I do know the Nile is the only river running away from the equator and that Isis and Osiris had earlier, different names.

I was Angel, not Serenity.

Now re-reading this book, with Knowledge of Self, is making this book a brand new read. It's actually exciting. Where as a lot of the suggested changes have already become reality for me there are things that I might like to try that I know probably won't happen for me. All this woman to woman interaction ain't gonna work for me. I just can't do women like that.

For those of you unfamiliar with the book, Sacred Women is not about homosexuality or Goddessing up the Black woman. It is about healing the female self and implores women to get together and support each other. And on the surface that sounds like one great idea, I know this doesn't work for me. For some reason I rub women the wrong way. And this is even worse, I suppose.... I don't care.

I was raised with my mother and 2 uncles. My mom has women friends but only the ones she's always had. She doesn't like other women than her friends. And is quite vociferous about that fact. I have only step-sisters. So I wasn't socialized to get along with women. And as girly as I am today, that wasn't always the case. Girls didn't play with me when I was small because I didn't like/understand girls games. I didn't play house or play with dolls. I would ask for a hot wheels race trace every Christmas and get a baby doll in it's place. I wonder if Santa was offended that there was a doll graveyard under the den sofa? I literally had to force myself to learn to jump double dutch an play jacks so that I could get along with the girls in my after school program. They kept us separate from the boys and we weren't allowed to play with them. I'm sure them chicks could tell I was faking it. I just have always had more fun playing with boys. To this day, I have more male friends than female friends. In GA I would say there are about....... maybe..... 3 women I would just call up talk to.

So me getting into a cipher with a bunch of women (as has been proven) all trusting and sharing? Ain't gonna happen. So I'm thinking of either going solitary on this on or see what's out there in the Internet sphere. It is easier to get along with strangers. That is, until they start to know you then you have to find new strangers.

Wish me well!



Flying Mermaid said...

Glad you made an exception for me! (Does my sexual orientation help, or is it just me, or a Jersey thing?) I'm even more glad you got over fearing being smote by the white Jesus!

I'm cracking up remembering some of your attempts at fitting into various groups, hehehehe!

Serenity Love Sincere Peace Earth said...

Only Jersey Girls get me