Meet me over at www.polyvore.com.
Find me... Serenity Earth.
Peace
Thursday, July 30, 2009
The Wrapping Earth.... Da-Ha Da-Ha
This is a serious quickey.
I get mad compliments on my head wraps. I have no clue why, since I always wrap them the same way. I tried all the intricate styles I see on other Earths but the fall off my head. So I’m thinking maybe it’s not my technique but the fabric that I wrap my hair with. So I will share my wrap favorites….
I have come to learn through trial and error… and there were some bad errors in the early days… natural fabrics make the best wraps. Cotton is your friend. Cotton will stay on your head and not become deformed and slip off as other fabrics will at the most inopportune time. For some reason they will fall off your head while you are talking to someone. And now your sitting/standing there, probably holding a bag and trying to maintain a conversation while re adjusting the wrap. Insanity!
Another thing… I find the longer the fabric (notice I said longer and not thicker) the better. Get at least a yard in a half. I have a big head and I like 2 yards, but that is just me. And you don’t need anything deeper than a ½ yard. 1½ yards long ½ yard width. A yard is 36”.
I like to get cotton scarves if they aren’t too expensive, that change in color over the course of the fabric. Makes for an interesting completed wrap. Sometimes I sew 2 dissimilar pieces of fabric together. That looks mad hot when wrapped. If I have a synthetic scarf that I'm certain will set my outfit off, I will wrap it over a neutral fabric, then add the synthetic fabric as an accent. And old 70’s shows like Good Times (my favorite for wraps and natural hairstyles) and Pam Grier movies are wonderful for wrap ideas. Youtube has a lot of wrapping tutorials.
I get mad compliments on my head wraps. I have no clue why, since I always wrap them the same way. I tried all the intricate styles I see on other Earths but the fall off my head. So I’m thinking maybe it’s not my technique but the fabric that I wrap my hair with. So I will share my wrap favorites….
I have come to learn through trial and error… and there were some bad errors in the early days… natural fabrics make the best wraps. Cotton is your friend. Cotton will stay on your head and not become deformed and slip off as other fabrics will at the most inopportune time. For some reason they will fall off your head while you are talking to someone. And now your sitting/standing there, probably holding a bag and trying to maintain a conversation while re adjusting the wrap. Insanity!
Another thing… I find the longer the fabric (notice I said longer and not thicker) the better. Get at least a yard in a half. I have a big head and I like 2 yards, but that is just me. And you don’t need anything deeper than a ½ yard. 1½ yards long ½ yard width. A yard is 36”.
I like to get cotton scarves if they aren’t too expensive, that change in color over the course of the fabric. Makes for an interesting completed wrap. Sometimes I sew 2 dissimilar pieces of fabric together. That looks mad hot when wrapped. If I have a synthetic scarf that I'm certain will set my outfit off, I will wrap it over a neutral fabric, then add the synthetic fabric as an accent. And old 70’s shows like Good Times (my favorite for wraps and natural hairstyles) and Pam Grier movies are wonderful for wrap ideas. Youtube has a lot of wrapping tutorials.
I have not noticed that the headwraps have damaged my hair in any way. And I don't line them with anything. But my hair is locked. Maybe that has something to do with it. And like I mentioned, I only use natural facrics... cotton, silk, etc. I do notice that pulling my hair back with a rubberband bothers my temple edges. I know it's the rubberband because all I have to do is take it off and the pain stops. And I be using the Goodys bands too!
The last and most important comment I want to make is have fun with it. Headwraps are not meant to be punishment for being born female. Enjoy!
Peace
PS: BTW the above book is an excellent book!
The last and most important comment I want to make is have fun with it. Headwraps are not meant to be punishment for being born female. Enjoy!
Peace
PS: BTW the above book is an excellent book!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
My Duty to My Ownself
Okay… I know I said I wasn’t gonna dwell on clothes. And I haven’t for awhile, but… well… you know… just a small visit can’t hurt.
Yesterday I had on a skirt. A blue skirt if that helps. And a skirt that I have worn several times before. I had this skirt before I had KOS. Not saying that the skirt violated the refinement clause, just giving you some background, ok? Anywho… The skirt wasn’t all that tight. I have never been found of tight clothes, but it was fitted. Also it wasn’t that long. I haven’t worn a mini skirt since the early 90’s. The skirt was blue, fitted and came to my knees. I was miserable the entire day. Miserable and uncomfortable. I kept pulling at it. Hoping miraculously that it would become longer and looser. You know what hope gets you? One of my coworkers saw me putzing with it and said, “That skirt looks fine. Leave it alone.” I was more of an order rather than a suggestion. I couldn’t wait to get out of that thing when I got home. It was the 1st thing to come off. Even before my nametag.
Here is my comment…. Why is it, now, I’m all sensitive about clothes. It’s not just my clothes either. I now notice all kinds of clothing folks (usually women, but sometimes men) put on their backs. I didn’t used to. Yesterday, while uncomfortably commuting, I saw a young pregnant woman. Let me explain why she stood out. Although she was NOTICABLY expecting, she had on a dress that barely covered her ass! It could have been a shirt. Her weave was almost as long as this dress. It was see-through to boot. I could see that she had on yellow granny panties through the floral dress. She was a thin woman and after passing me, she made a turn. An old man approached her from behind and lasciviously ogled her. I could tell he didn’t know she was pregnant. She didn’t look pregnant from behind. When he realized that she was, in fact, pregnant, you could see a moment’s hesitation then he shrugged his shoulders and made a very distasteful comment. We both were horrified. She asked him why he would speak to her like that. All he did was make the nasty-man-laugh and continued on his way. I felt sorry for her, but that’s all I felt for her. I couldn’t be as angry with the man as I wanted to be because she did have on a whore’s uniform. And that made me angrier with her. Some would say she had it coming. Others would argue she has the freedom to do whatever she wants. I agreed with both opinions.
I consider myself a civilized-person-in-training so…. I grit my teeth and went to speak to her. She was nearly in tears. We chatted, I tried to console her. She was REALLY young. And I suggested that maybe she needed to be wearing pants since the dress was so short. I felt more uncomfortable having this conversation with the pregnant 85er than I felt in that skirt. I was trying sooooo hard to not be judgmental. She said that she thought she looked nice. All I could think of was 10:36. Yeesh. When we parted she assured me that she would look into proper maternity clothing. (Here comes the judgment…) Though I doubt that because maternity clothes are expensive and she was already 7 months along.
Today I am way more comfortable in a loose flowy maxidress. I feel like my ownself.
I have said all this to say… KOS has completely affected everything about me. Even things I thought I knew about myself. And I’m not sure I like this clear full body reflection. But what can be done now? I might as well get used to it, because unless I come down with amnesia or someone shoots me with the “Men in Black” light, its here to stay.
Peace
Yesterday I had on a skirt. A blue skirt if that helps. And a skirt that I have worn several times before. I had this skirt before I had KOS. Not saying that the skirt violated the refinement clause, just giving you some background, ok? Anywho… The skirt wasn’t all that tight. I have never been found of tight clothes, but it was fitted. Also it wasn’t that long. I haven’t worn a mini skirt since the early 90’s. The skirt was blue, fitted and came to my knees. I was miserable the entire day. Miserable and uncomfortable. I kept pulling at it. Hoping miraculously that it would become longer and looser. You know what hope gets you? One of my coworkers saw me putzing with it and said, “That skirt looks fine. Leave it alone.” I was more of an order rather than a suggestion. I couldn’t wait to get out of that thing when I got home. It was the 1st thing to come off. Even before my nametag.
Here is my comment…. Why is it, now, I’m all sensitive about clothes. It’s not just my clothes either. I now notice all kinds of clothing folks (usually women, but sometimes men) put on their backs. I didn’t used to. Yesterday, while uncomfortably commuting, I saw a young pregnant woman. Let me explain why she stood out. Although she was NOTICABLY expecting, she had on a dress that barely covered her ass! It could have been a shirt. Her weave was almost as long as this dress. It was see-through to boot. I could see that she had on yellow granny panties through the floral dress. She was a thin woman and after passing me, she made a turn. An old man approached her from behind and lasciviously ogled her. I could tell he didn’t know she was pregnant. She didn’t look pregnant from behind. When he realized that she was, in fact, pregnant, you could see a moment’s hesitation then he shrugged his shoulders and made a very distasteful comment. We both were horrified. She asked him why he would speak to her like that. All he did was make the nasty-man-laugh and continued on his way. I felt sorry for her, but that’s all I felt for her. I couldn’t be as angry with the man as I wanted to be because she did have on a whore’s uniform. And that made me angrier with her. Some would say she had it coming. Others would argue she has the freedom to do whatever she wants. I agreed with both opinions.
I consider myself a civilized-person-in-training so…. I grit my teeth and went to speak to her. She was nearly in tears. We chatted, I tried to console her. She was REALLY young. And I suggested that maybe she needed to be wearing pants since the dress was so short. I felt more uncomfortable having this conversation with the pregnant 85er than I felt in that skirt. I was trying sooooo hard to not be judgmental. She said that she thought she looked nice. All I could think of was 10:36. Yeesh. When we parted she assured me that she would look into proper maternity clothing. (Here comes the judgment…) Though I doubt that because maternity clothes are expensive and she was already 7 months along.
Today I am way more comfortable in a loose flowy maxidress. I feel like my ownself.
I have said all this to say… KOS has completely affected everything about me. Even things I thought I knew about myself. And I’m not sure I like this clear full body reflection. But what can be done now? I might as well get used to it, because unless I come down with amnesia or someone shoots me with the “Men in Black” light, its here to stay.
Peace
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Universal Observances
I got into the office EARLY today. I wanted some time alone to get down my thoughts. The office, when no one is here and when I am not on the clock is a very peaceful place. Lately, I have been pondering the Universe its relationships; especially those pertaining to the Earth. You surprised? Get ready. This is a long one.
I began contemplating the relationship of the Earth alone. Asking myself if the Earth could exist all by itself. The answer is yes. But it would not be Earth as we know it. I am not absolute regarding the origin of planets. I’m not at the Solar Facts yet. So I am basing this premise on the Earth existing as is. It would just be a rock. It would not be able to bare or support life. Since the axial rotation of 1037 1/3 mph (7:40) is an Earth function, lets say that the Earth is still rotating on her own axis. But to what purpose? Without a source of light it would not even be seen which asks a different question. If it cannot be seen than does it truly exist? It would have no atmosphere, no water, no Sun to guide its orbit, no reason to rotate, just adrift aimlessly in whatever space it occupied. Not a pretty picture. I see that to represent females with no KOS. They do not have any sense of themselves and what there role is. And no goals that would further that revelation. Just moving from here to there with no purpose, reason or rhyme. This is sad image.
Then I think of the Sun-Earth dynamic. The Sun has attracting powers on the Earth. The Sun gives the Earth direction by locking the Earth in its orbit; giving it direction. The Sun sends light and heat to the Earth. It is this light; heat from the Sun, with water from the planet is the building blocks of the atmosphere. Once all the different layers of atmosphere (8:40) are in place (troposphere where weather takes place, the stable stratosphere that protects the Earth by absorbing rays from the Sun, also the ozone exists here, mesosphere that burns up meteors and rock fragments, protecting the Earth and her inhabitants from being struck, thermosphere/ionosphere where the lovely auroras show themselves and the thin upper limit of the exosphere) life can exist on the Earth. Very nice. This, in comparison to the above description of the Earth sans the Sun, says to me that the relationship that the Earth has with the Sun is the primary external relationship that the Earth has. For without the Sun, the Earth cannot perform all the functions that are listed in her job description.
And what of the Sun without planets in his gravitation? What is he? Yes he shines but on what and why? What use is all that shining without anything to shine one? Since nothing is present to bear witness to the light and heat, meaning that it couldn’t shown and proven without satellites, does that mean that the Sun is really not shining? I’m not getting in to this since it doesn’t reflect me.
And the Moon…. The moon has no atmosphere, no water, no life. It is said that the moon was once part of the Earth. I’ll reserve judgment on that for now. Even with all that it lacks compared to the Earth, the Earth found this satellite important enough to lock into its own gravitational field. The moon does not spin on it’s own axis. But it does rotate around the Earth. The moon was once way closer to the Earth than it is now. The Moon’s effect on the Earth is in relation to the water on the Earth. The Moon draws the water in what we see as tides. This effect is so strong that it causes the Earth to bulge at different points where the tides coalesce. When the moon was closer to the Earth, the tidal waves were bigger therefore the Earthly bulge was bigger. The moon has various observed phases and has long been a source of fascination for the people of Earth.
I see the Moon as children and the Moon-Earth dynamic as the Mother-Child relationship. In our Nation we call young girls ‘Moons’. But for the sake of this build I will use the term comprehensively for all children. The very 1st phase (new Moon) can be the bulge observed when the Mother is gestating. Also, hormonally these women are all over the place. And this is before the child physically enters the Cipher. Children cause all kinds of emotional disturbances to/within their mothers after they get here. The younger they are the more their mother fuss and fret over them. This is right and exact. During the baby phase, children are helpless. The more attached their mothers are to them the better off they fare. I have seen mothers hear their babies hiccup from different floors without a monitor. Babies clearly hold the reigns on their mother’s emotions. And it doesn’t really matter how old the baby is. (I’m a grown baby still trying to break free from my ole Earth’s gravitational field) As the baby becomes more independent they move further and further away from Mommy. Eventually breaking free of their mother’s gravitational pull and they become Suns and Earths in their own right. Capable of running their own Universe.
The Universe (21:SA) can not exist singularily. Meaning that in order for there to be completion in the Universe, there needs to exist more than 1 entity. A universe is a family, not just a Sun or Just an Earth or just a Moon. It is everything (9:14)
There is order in the cosmos. There is an ancient saying… “As above so below” and vice versa. I see this phrase to agree with what we advocate as a Nation. We are a Nation that strives to live in Equality without surroundings. And I don’t think that cosmic, Earthly, Solar or natural relationships should be ignored.
Yes these are the musings of an Earth in the crux of a hormone imbalance. If you read all the way to the end…. I appreciate it.
Peace
I began contemplating the relationship of the Earth alone. Asking myself if the Earth could exist all by itself. The answer is yes. But it would not be Earth as we know it. I am not absolute regarding the origin of planets. I’m not at the Solar Facts yet. So I am basing this premise on the Earth existing as is. It would just be a rock. It would not be able to bare or support life. Since the axial rotation of 1037 1/3 mph (7:40) is an Earth function, lets say that the Earth is still rotating on her own axis. But to what purpose? Without a source of light it would not even be seen which asks a different question. If it cannot be seen than does it truly exist? It would have no atmosphere, no water, no Sun to guide its orbit, no reason to rotate, just adrift aimlessly in whatever space it occupied. Not a pretty picture. I see that to represent females with no KOS. They do not have any sense of themselves and what there role is. And no goals that would further that revelation. Just moving from here to there with no purpose, reason or rhyme. This is sad image.
Then I think of the Sun-Earth dynamic. The Sun has attracting powers on the Earth. The Sun gives the Earth direction by locking the Earth in its orbit; giving it direction. The Sun sends light and heat to the Earth. It is this light; heat from the Sun, with water from the planet is the building blocks of the atmosphere. Once all the different layers of atmosphere (8:40) are in place (troposphere where weather takes place, the stable stratosphere that protects the Earth by absorbing rays from the Sun, also the ozone exists here, mesosphere that burns up meteors and rock fragments, protecting the Earth and her inhabitants from being struck, thermosphere/ionosphere where the lovely auroras show themselves and the thin upper limit of the exosphere) life can exist on the Earth. Very nice. This, in comparison to the above description of the Earth sans the Sun, says to me that the relationship that the Earth has with the Sun is the primary external relationship that the Earth has. For without the Sun, the Earth cannot perform all the functions that are listed in her job description.
And what of the Sun without planets in his gravitation? What is he? Yes he shines but on what and why? What use is all that shining without anything to shine one? Since nothing is present to bear witness to the light and heat, meaning that it couldn’t shown and proven without satellites, does that mean that the Sun is really not shining? I’m not getting in to this since it doesn’t reflect me.
And the Moon…. The moon has no atmosphere, no water, no life. It is said that the moon was once part of the Earth. I’ll reserve judgment on that for now. Even with all that it lacks compared to the Earth, the Earth found this satellite important enough to lock into its own gravitational field. The moon does not spin on it’s own axis. But it does rotate around the Earth. The moon was once way closer to the Earth than it is now. The Moon’s effect on the Earth is in relation to the water on the Earth. The Moon draws the water in what we see as tides. This effect is so strong that it causes the Earth to bulge at different points where the tides coalesce. When the moon was closer to the Earth, the tidal waves were bigger therefore the Earthly bulge was bigger. The moon has various observed phases and has long been a source of fascination for the people of Earth.
I see the Moon as children and the Moon-Earth dynamic as the Mother-Child relationship. In our Nation we call young girls ‘Moons’. But for the sake of this build I will use the term comprehensively for all children. The very 1st phase (new Moon) can be the bulge observed when the Mother is gestating. Also, hormonally these women are all over the place. And this is before the child physically enters the Cipher. Children cause all kinds of emotional disturbances to/within their mothers after they get here. The younger they are the more their mother fuss and fret over them. This is right and exact. During the baby phase, children are helpless. The more attached their mothers are to them the better off they fare. I have seen mothers hear their babies hiccup from different floors without a monitor. Babies clearly hold the reigns on their mother’s emotions. And it doesn’t really matter how old the baby is. (I’m a grown baby still trying to break free from my ole Earth’s gravitational field) As the baby becomes more independent they move further and further away from Mommy. Eventually breaking free of their mother’s gravitational pull and they become Suns and Earths in their own right. Capable of running their own Universe.
The Universe (21:SA) can not exist singularily. Meaning that in order for there to be completion in the Universe, there needs to exist more than 1 entity. A universe is a family, not just a Sun or Just an Earth or just a Moon. It is everything (9:14)
There is order in the cosmos. There is an ancient saying… “As above so below” and vice versa. I see this phrase to agree with what we advocate as a Nation. We are a Nation that strives to live in Equality without surroundings. And I don’t think that cosmic, Earthly, Solar or natural relationships should be ignored.
Yes these are the musings of an Earth in the crux of a hormone imbalance. If you read all the way to the end…. I appreciate it.
Peace
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I'm Blessed
Yes I live in the Bible belt. I know it's hard for some folks to think differently from what they have been traditionally fed. It's hard and frankly unfair (though necessary) to remove the conditioning. Not everyone can handle the change. But some folks a re too old to change (I have a blog entry planned on this). Well like the devil did with Christianity, I am going to use what I’m given, to further my goal which is civilization of the uncivilized (at my level). I will take their terms and use it back on them.
A preacher came into the Justice today and said two things that I’m certain he didn’t mean for me to take. He said he would make his January appointment “God willing”. Since he is an Original man, I said, “Indeed, God, indeed.” I wish y’all could have seen the look on his face. (Teehee) Then the same preacher said, “Be Blessed”. My Supreme Alphabet converter adjusted this to, “Bringing Love and Equality into existence will Save Self.” Okay. I can get in board with that. I replied, “Same to you” with a big cheesy smile. I love it when Christians think they got you. Too funny!
Not trying to be argumentative (def: when you are right, but no one wants to accepts it) or incendiary (def: what other folks call you when you piss them off because they know you’re right) but I have the right to live on my own terms in this world. And I’m a do it till the wheels fall off!
Peace
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Done
I have had my last uncomfortable conversation with friends. Word of my Nation membership is slowly filtering throughout my friend roster. It's weird too. Since it's been nearly 2 years. Yesterday an oooooold... ahem... friend that I haven't laid oeyes on in long over a year contacted me with a ridiculous amount of questions. He wanted to know why did I join and if I was still single? WTF? That makes no daggone sense to me what any thing has to do with anything else. He's not even a Christian! Yeah we used to go to the same church when we were kids and we were in the same class at Catholic School but he is in NO way considered a religious person. Why is he so constipated about decisions that have absolutely nothing to do with him?
My handy man (for real, he fixes things in my house) is a preacher. Has been since I've known him. He's a big flirt too. (aren't all preachers?) He, too, was initially angry when he asked (almost 2 years ago) why I started covering my head. This I never understood because it wasn't like he was my preacher. He and I were discussing some household problem, started chatting about this and that, the conversation shifted and I mentioned to him that a lot of folks and even some relatives decided to kick me to the curb because of my decision to leave the church. I was confused because I know that Christianity does not advocate that. I was just curious about his perspective since he is a clergyman. He asked, why would I want to be friends with Christians anyway? There are enough heathens in the world for me to chill with, why bother good Christian folk. **screwface** WTF? See the constant bull that I get?
Well, I'm done. If you cannot accept me for me... then kiss my ass on your way out the door. And I mean it.
Peace
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
"I'm So Glad We've had this Time Together..."
I am having problems at work. Not because I'm not following the job description to the letter. Nope. My boss admits that I consistently exceed expectations. No, the problem that I am having at work is my appearance. Or shall I say what his perceived view of my appearance should be.
When I began this job 5 years ago, I was not righteous. I came into KOS approximately 2 years (rounded out) ago. Before KOS, I wore makeup, weaves (in various colors and textures) and whatever the hell I wanted. Those days are gone. I now display 3/4th, cover my head and wear no makeup. I don't see what the problem is. I am still the same vain person I was before and my vanity will not allow me to leave the rest unless I look good. I am not dressing like a Mormon. I still consider myself extraordinarily professional. I stopped wearing pants 4 years ago. But since the reason for that change affected nothing else, my boss was cool. Like he had another option.
Today I have on a dress that I have had and worn for at least 3 years. The difference between the way I wear it now and the way I wore it then, is I have removed the belt and the corresponding loops. It's not a sloppy look. The belt showcased the girls a little too much for my comfort. Even when I wore the belt I didn't pull it tight. That's it. But he has a problem with that and said as much. He says the biggest problem that he has is with my head wrap. Its the only thing he can point to for complaining purposes that won't get him in trouble with the law. I wear my head tastefully wrapped. Not saying that I never don the big wraps, but I save those for the weekend. This man's argument is weak!!! He is just being argumentative.
There are 3 other people working here besides myself. One male and two females. The male has no problems whatsoever with how I do. Not that I've ever asked him. But we get along the way we always have. Lately we have been getting along better. Go figure. There is a chick who whispers in the boss' ear about the way I am. But she bitches about everything I do and has done that since I started working here. AND she is a Christian. One of them Christians who always has all her paraphernalia surrounding her. Like her Bible, her highlighter, her books and her WWJD bracelets. Always hollering, "Thank you Jesus" for any reason. Yeesh! I could complain about her, like she does about me, that her stuff makes me nervous. But then I'd be falling to her level of foolishness and I'm not about to do that.
The lone person here who has bothered to ask me what is going on with me is an older woman. She didn't ask right away, she felt me out first. She asked questions I could respect. Questions that weren't accusatory, but sincere questions because she wanted to understand me. Her questions have been answered. And answered right where she is so that she can understand it and pass it on to folks who feel most comfortable going around, rather than to the source. I know that's how my coworkers roll.
It's time to leave here. I see the writing on the wall. I just wish the economy wasn't so shitty. Or I'd have been out on the 1st thing smoking. I know Gods never face this problem. There appearance usually doesn't change. But does any one have any experience with this level of bullshit? I'd like to consider it....
Peace
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Turtle Identified.....
Everyone is aware that Micheal Jackson has returned to the essence, last Thursday. Even folks who live in caves, on the highest mountain tops, and even the unborn and unconceived somehow know this bit of information. This is not a tribute blog. Enough of those that have been written. I haved twitted my regrets to the family. This blog is about my reaction to hearing this news...
I don't listen to the radio at work. That's a long story. I have no speakers on my computer either. And for some reason I had been too busy to get my internet on like I normally would to find out that MJ had even had a heart attack. I found out in a ghetto gas station. At that point, he was allegedly still alive but on his way to the hospital. As an adult, I am normal when it comes the the "Gloved One". But as a child and teenager, I was over the top. It was obsessive and fetishy. I do not want to get into all of the nuances, but let me just tell you, I got a lot of phone calls from folks who knew me back then, who were concerned that I might jump off a building.
My 1st reaction when I heard the Michael had had a heart attack, other than to threaten the life of the chick in the gas station (kill the messenger), was to offer up a prayer. STOP!!! U-TURN! WTF? I don't pray? I do not believe in a mystery god. So to whom was I addressing this prayer to? Precise? No. He wasn't there. No identifiable Gods were in the gas station. Woooow.... That reaction caught me completely off guard. I am clear that prayer to a mystery god is of no use. But similarly can be used meditatively, but that is not called prayer. Alignment of self with intentions is what I think of when people say prayer. But asking for a favor from a spook hovering in the sky? Then what's next? me paying him back? Umm.... No. I say one thing but when confronted with stress all that flew out of the window? I'm better than that. I know this.
A day or two later, I was driving and a feeling of intense contentment flooded over me. I like this feeling. I get it from time to time. Y'all have had it too. I felt like saying, "God is good" or "Thank you Jesus." I almost let the former phrase slip through my lips; but I caught it. I'm not proud I caught it, I was mad that the thought materialized in the 1st place. But this time, before I over analyzed it, I changed the thought from "God is Good", to "I am very fortunate." That's more like it. The fortunate-ness can be shown and proven, the God (unless I'm speaking of a specific man) can not be.
I draw this up to be a process. There were 30+ years of religious dogma put into me. I would be foolish to believe that it would disappear in 2 years no matter how evolved I am. I still find that I am overly superstitious too. Maybe it would have been easier to let go if I hadn't been as devout as I was. But I Know (always got to bring it back to today's Math) I am completely sold out on Supreme Mathematics and all of our lessons. I am in complete harmony with what we teach and expect. But I realize I am going to have to daily check and balance myself to make sure none of that older foolishness finds it's way back into my cipher.
Peace
PS: For folks that don't know me like that... Whenever I see a turtle someone dies. So now I consider turtles as a harbinger of death!
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