Monday, January 12, 2015

The Highest Form of Understanding....


Today's Supreme Mathematics is Knowledge Wisdom abbt to Understanding. It's kind of apropos to how I'm feeling right now.

Love (12:SA) is said to be the highest form of Understanding. It takes in account that you have information about an individual and that you bear witness to their actions. If at that point you continue to add on with said person, then you Love them at least to some degree. I agree with this definition. Love isn't necessarily all romantic or unconditional. Folks level up the definition with adjectives that aren't earned or even applicable.

I am a person who has both the ability and the inclination to cut off a joker's head and not look back. If I write you off.... then you are dead to me... and since in all the history of Islam it's never been revealed of a man returning from a physical death... you stay dead to me. I have done this many times. But for some reason, I find it difficult to cut off folks who share my DNA.

If said this before... I'll probably say it again... The people closest to you will hurt you more than anyone else because they are the ones who have the most opportunity. Family being the closest to you will always hurt you more than any other entity. But at some point one must say, “Enough is Enough.” I have gotten to that point.

I've Built about my peeps before. My living blood family consists of my mother, older brother and assorted cousins. I didn't grow up near my cousins so I don't have a close relationship with them. My grandmother had been married twice and my mother is the result of her 2nd marriage. My aunt and uncle were grown my mother was born, so their kids are a LOT older than I am. Hell a lot of my 1st cousins are retired and have children older than me.

I don't expect Understanding from my extended family... that's good since I don't get any. I just don't know them like that so that kills the 1. But my mother and brother..... just shiesty! 2 garments cut from the same cloth. I hate to share accounts from my childhood that include them because they never sound good. BUT. The best part is these 2 individuals didn't baby me... didn't make me a punk bitch... taught me to stand square on my Cipher and look folks unashamedly in the eye. They are responsible for my independence. That's all I got good to say about them.

Both these people need their heads chopped off, though. For some reason, they think that their presence is necessary for my day to day. I'm not going to get into the specifics.... But I will say that my life is smoother without them in it.

One of my 2015 resolutions is to slow down and take things easier. I can see where my health is affected by my emotions. These 2 inspire non-pleasant emotions. I'm done letting it affect me like they want. I'm driving this vehicle from now on. I know these folks and I know how they do. I Love them. But that doesn't mean I'm going to let them continue to have a bit of sway in my life. They've ruined their own lives and the people around them with their misery. I'm not letting them do that to my life.