Monday, June 18, 2012

Relationship Baggage

Peace Y'all,

This is not my normal build. And it is loaded with emotion. So if that turns you off, now is the time to bounce….

The God and I just got back from the metro NJ/NY area for Show and Prove. We had a really nice time at the S&P. On the way back, one of us neglected to put my luggage in the truck. We managed to drive all the way back to Allah’s Garden and didn’t notice it wasn’t in the truck. I was angry…. Very angry. But I knew that once the anger passed, I would find humor in it because that’s what I do. I asked the hotel to forward it to me at my expense. They declined. Luckily, my sister works in the city where my luggage was stranded. And she was able to ship my luggage to me through her job at no charge to her or me. So once I get my bag everything will work itself out.

This is part that has me annoyed…. A “friend” of mine made a comment that slapped me completely upside the head… She asked me if I was going to leave the 7. But she didn’t just say, “Are you going to leave him?” She called him all manner of trifling nigger and she has never even met him. (The 7 will hurt a woman’s feeling and/or administer physical justice. I don’t want them to meet because she might cause him to want to slap her) I had to restrain myself from not slapping the taste out of her mouth, myself. And that mercy is very unlike me but (a) I was at work and (b) I was the one who voluntarily offered the information… because it started to be funny to me.

Well I learned valuable lessons from the interaction….
Don’t take relationship advice from single people.
Don’t discuss my business with just anybody.
Don’t hold the man to standard higher than the ones I hold for myself.
Don’t be so quick to kick a good man to the curb.
I don’t have to defend my man to anybody. And I won’t.
And I need some married friends….

This chick has no man. None. She used to have a man, but she broke him down so deep that he slithered away from her. And he was the only dude that I know would put up with her foolishness. So how is this man-repelling heifer going to tell me how to keep my man? And my man is God, at that! She needs to shut the fuck up. That took me back to my parents’ tumultuous and ridiculous relationship. My mother has single friends and those friends were never happy for the others when they had men. Suffice to say, none of them have relationships with men. Oh, they all tried. None succeeded and now they are all old, and all alone. But they have each other. They are so close it wouldn't surprise me if I found out that they were lesbians together.

Another thing about this chick is she is a straight shit talker. Just a ridiculous mouth for a woman or anybody. A mouth like a split pocket. No refinement at all. And if I say that… me…. Who can and will curse a mug out at/in a church that is saying something. And it’s not that this woman is uneducated. She has a bachelors and 2 master’s degrees that she earned on her own dime. But she either never got the message that there is a way that you talk to people or she doesn’t care. Even when she is representing her job, she is crass. I’m thinking this is how she is, and I tend to give her passes for that reason and also because she is really very young and has limited life experience. I’m not sure she realizes this. I’ve seen other people do this too. But she went too far. She even had the nerve to ask me if I was going to leave him. Really? Over luggage! I had to check her. And I don’t think I ever did that before. She was very surprised and tried to recover to no avail.

Lets be real, I’m not leaving my man because he made a mistake that could be fixed. No. Not at all. But misery loves company and hurt people hurt people. I’m no longer in her company. I need to find some married friends.

This got me to thinking…. Women are really hard on men and make a lot of claims that I don’t believe are accurate. “All men are dogs.” Since animals rarely breed willingly outside their species, if a woman is getting dogs then that means she is a bitch. “Black men don’t want to work.” That isn’t something that you can really say unless you know ALL Black men. That’s just saying you interact with some pure fools. But I don’t. All my men work. If that isn’t your experience, then that says more about you than it does the genre of men. Women also hold men to a higher expectation than they would like men to hold them. If men are supposed to be the providers (and I’m not saying they aren’t supposed to be), then the women need to show and prove 14:14…. Like a mug. Make them biscuits from scratch honey and get on your hands and knees to scrub the floor. You want your man to stay with you in a nasty house while eating burger king.

I take full responsibility. I should not have discussed my personal business with outsiders. And it wasn’t like I was telling our personal intimate business. I was actually in shock that this happened and on some level I was working it out in my mind but out loud with other people. I’m not saying I should not have done it; I should have been more particular about who I built with. Yet another lesson learned.

Keep taking the best part.



Patience said...

This is so true soon as I got married I have to watch who I associate with because you have those females that do these exact things! Had I not been checking myself I could have easily been singing that same song. Keep posting truth!