Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Relationship Complacency

"Cater 2 U"

[Verse 1 Beyonce]
Baby I See You Working Hard
I Want To Let You Know I'm Proud,
Let You Know That I Admire What You Do
The More If I Need To Reassure You, My Life Would Be Purposeless Without You (Yeah)
If I Want It (Got It)
When I Ask You (You Provide It)
You Inspire Me To Be Better
You Challenge Me For The Better
Sit Back And Let Me Pour Out My Love Letter

Let Me Help You
Take Off Your Shoes
Untie Your Shoestrings
Take Off Your Cufflinks (Yeah)
What You Want To Eat Boo? (Yeah)
Let Me Feed You
Let Me Run Your Bathwater
Whatever You Desire, I'll Aspire
Sing You A Song
Turn The Game On
I'll Brush Your Hair
Help Put Your Do Rag On
Want A Foot Rub? (Yeah)
You Want A Manicure?
Baby I'm Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy

Let Me Cater To You
Cause Baby This Is Your Day
Do Anything For My Man
Baby You Blow Me Away
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want Just Let Me Cater To You
Inspire Me From The Heart,
Can't Nothing Tear Us Apart
You're All I Want In A Man;
I Put My Life In Your Hands
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want, I Want To Cater To You

[Verse 2 Kelly]
Baby I'm Happy You're Home,
Let Me Hold You In My Arms
I Just Want To Take The Stress Away From You
Making Sure That I'm Doing My Part (Oh)
Boy Is There Something You Need Me To Do (Oh)
If You Want It (I Got It)
Say The Word (I Will Try It)
I Know Whatever I'm Not Fulfilling (Oh)
Another Woman Is Willing (Oh)
I'm Going To Fulfill Your Mind, Body, And Spirit

I Promise You (Promise You)
I'll Keep Myself Up (Oh)
Remain The Same Chick (Yeah)
You Fell In Love With (Yeah)
I'll Keep It Tight, I'll Keep My Figure Right
I'll Keep My Hair Fixed, Keep Rocking The Hottest Outfits
When You Come Home Late Tap Me On My Shoulder, I'll Roll Over
Baby I Heard You, I'm Here To Serve You (I'm Lovin It, I'm Lovin It)
If It's Love You Need, To Give It Is My Joy
All I Want To Do, Is Cater To You Boy


[Bridge Michelle]
I Want To Give You My Breath, My Strength, My Will To Be Here
That's The Least I Can Do,
Let Me Cater To You
Through The Good (Good)
The Bad (Through The Bad)
The Ups And The Downs (Ups And Downs)
I'll Still Be Here For You
Let Me Cater To You
Cause You're Beautiful (You're Beautiful)
I Love The Way You Are (You Are)
Fulfill Your Every Desire (Desire)
Your Wish Is My Command (Command)
I Want To Cater To My Man
Your Heart (Your Heart)
So Pure Your Love Shines Through(Shines Through)
The Darkness We'll Get Through (So Much)
So Much Of Me Is You (Is You)
I Want To Cater To My Man

[Chorus Out]

Peace Y’all,

This build has been with me for a minute. I didn’t want to write it, because I know it will offend folks. But in my beloved Nation, we honor Truth regardless of whom or what. And what I write is the Truth as I see it. You don’t have to agree. And let’s be real, this is a blog. If you don’t like what I write, don’t read it. And feel free to comment. I ain’t scurred!

There is a phenomenon that afflicts women… (It afflicts men too, but in a different way. So different it would require its own build). I call it Relationship Complacency or RC. When a woman gets in a relationship she loses sight of the work she did to attain said relationship and becomes a slouch. If you are offended then it is a case of “hit dog will holler.”

When women settle into a relationship one of the 1st things that go is her appearance. And this happens for many reasons. Eating becomes social. And that causes you to gain weight. Or you feel like you no longer need to work so hard since you got your desired product. Maybe your man feels like you have to tone things down now that y’all all loved up. That last one concerns me. I have found in my Koran, that a man is proud of his woman most when there are other men are checking her out. When I got engaged to my 1st husband, I found it scandalous to eat dinner then breakfast with him. I gained a tuck load of weight and was oblivious to it. The sad thing was I had been on a savage diet and had lost a tremendous amount of weight before getting involved. But love skews your vision. I have never been able to get back to my ‘Air Force Fine’ weight. So I am freely admitting that I too, can fall victim to the RC.

As an Earth, I see other Earths falling into RC with this nation. Once we are in and find a home here, we fall Waaaaaaaaaaaay off. Most women come to this Nation through or because of a man. And the strive to please the man. 3/4ths is part of our Culture. For a lot of newborn Earths that can be translated as busted-ass-outed-ness. Not a good look. And I see how it happens. You go from wearing fitted body baring outfits, with high MAC or Fashion Fair, and perms to natural haired, long skirts with headwraps and clean faces. Yeah. You can get REALLY busted along that route. And the fact that the transformation is usually driven by men who have absolutely NO concept of the work that it takes to maintain beauty. Men think that it is all lazy and effortless. We just fall out of the bed looking gorgeous. No Suns. Beauty hurts. The longer you share a cipher with a woman, the day will come when she walks out of the bathroom with green mud and rollers.

I know many Earths. I was raised in NJ during the 80’s. For some reason Allah’s Garden Earths who read my blog assume I’m talking about them like I don’t know other righteous people. Whatever.

I prefaced this blog with a Destiny Child’s song. I don’t know if you remember the 2005 BET Awards. They performed this song by giving lap dances to Magic, Nelly and Terrance Howard. Before that time, the song ticked me off, catering goes both way and the way the ladies where singing it didn’t give me that impression. But then after truly giving serious and dedicated consideration to the lyrics, I see that this song assures a man that his woman won’t fall into RC. And lets be real, it’s a true fear for a man. That his fly assed woman will morph into a busted looking crud muffin.

Not to be accused of jaw jacking, I ask, what can we do about this? Just because you are Earth doesn’t mean you have to be frumpy. It doesn’t mean you have to rep the continent of Africa either. I’m going to suggest a really simple activity that helped me sort things out. I’m a girl and I like girly things. Magazines and Paper dolls. Cut out a woman’s form in a paper doll, and then go to cutting out different outfits from magazines. The reason I recommend the dolls is so you can see and monitor the proportion. There is nothing in 120 that says the Earth should be busted and outdated.

Currently Maxi dresses are in style, but that doesn’t always mean they will be. When they go out of style, when you continue to wear them you will date yourself. That’s not important to you? Great. But looking fashionable is something that a lot of women find important, whether 5% or 85%, hell… even the 10% want to look good! Find a way to cover your head that works in the corporate environment vs. educational environment vs. healthcare environment or what have you. We have to earn a living and there is no need to be or feel held back because you cover your head. If you wear pants, that covers 50% of your body. I’m assuming that you will wear a top with said pants and now your 3/4th is complete. Add a hat to refine even further. Pay attention to your skin. If you have acne; find a product to correct that. I never had moderate to bad acne so I can’t advocate anything. But I can advocate proper hygiene. Oral and other. Coordinate your clothes. Iron your clothes. Don’t wear something that needs to be repaired until it’s repaired. Get your eyebrows groomed. Uni-brows ain’t sexy. Wear perfume and high heels. Paint your toenails. Use lotion. Just because you have a long skirt o doesn’t mean you get to be ashy underneath. Slather Carmex on those lips. Breath mints don’t hurt. You still want to wear them bootie shorts with your ass hanging out? Then wear them for your man... at home. They say they don’t like lingerie; but when they tell you to take it off, it’s because it’s done its job, not because he doesn’t like it. Take time with your hair. Fix it up for your man. Yes you wear your head covered (some of you) while you are abroad, but the God deserves special treatment and goodies for your God and Earth time. Be that Chick he fell in love with. Read them lyrics chile!

Come on ladies! Let’s take back Jerusalem (our Gods) back from these 85% hoochies!



Hakeem EL7 said...

Peace Queen/Earth/Mother of Civilization, as I follow your builds for sometime. I read both blogs 25th, 26th 2011 and truly appreciate the wisdom you manifest about Earths. As for me being a new born studying to master my lessons. I don't come across many pluses that speaks of the Earths/Queens hell who came speak for you all and share that wisdom within of her nature. Me being married coming out of 10% beliefs, I now know who the Original man is B.U.T my wife fail to recognize her true self and just learning really what wisdoms are from ya builds helps me understand the approch I'm set out to make manifests. Again keep building it give eyesight/Insight to us men who are just learning who is the Original woman. Peace Hakeem Igod Allah

Serenity Love Sincere Peace Earth said...