Friday, December 16, 2016

Today's Mathematics: Knowledge Equality


A couple of days ago, I visited an old friend. This woman and I share a profession. She actually practices said profession, where I just hold the degree. Still and all it was a pleasant visit. We had been cool in the past and quickly got caught up. BUT.... there's always a but right? She, in her way, judged me for not pursuing my career.

This judgement is not new to me. My godmother said for all in the cipher to hear that I am a huge disappointment to my mother. I mean she said it as casually as one would remark about the weather. And she wonders why I don't call her. I'm used to hearing this over and over again. But on Tuesday, it kind of pissed me off.

I don't get why folks feel comfortable judging other folks. I'm not going to say I don't judge folks... But I don't really. I mean if I see someone I don't know wearing something shady, I will in a passing, wonder where her friends are. But when it comes to people I know, I trust them to make their own decisions. Because at the end of the day.... Their decisions really don't have any affect on my own life. I can show and prove it.... I have a friend who makes soooooo many poor choices. But that's her life to live. Not mine. I mentally support her through the consequences of her actions; but I have no dog in her race.

So my professional friend in her effervescent pity of my life had to get them words. I asked her how her husband was. She said fine. I let her know my husband was fine too. I asked her how her family was. I let her know my family was fine as well. I asked her when her last vacation was. She said she hasn't had one in years. I let her know where I had recently visited and where I'm going next. I asked her about hobbies that I know she likes. She's too busy to busy to do any of them. We used to belong to the same book club, so I asked her what she was reading. She's too busy to read. See where I'm going with this? But after about 30 minutes, she got the picture I was throwing. In a last ditch effort she strived for shade and asked me about my finances. She knows that I had a period of unemployment. I let her know that at no point in my extended vacation did I miss a meal or want for something I needed. I also reminded her that in our 15 year friendship, never have I asked for a penny or a ride to the airport. I just wanted to laugh with an old friend.

But this is a righteous 5% blog. So I should be able to draw up the situation in degrees right? Well..... I can. I counteracted her judgement by forcing her to acknowledge the Equality of our lives. Yes she is working the career that we went to school for. But is she living better than I? I've been to her mansion. She has to work HARD to pay for that. My home is modest in comparison, but even after being unemployed for 8 months, I was able to meet my financial responsibilities. She couldn't do that if the tables were reversed. But that is the Equality of our lives. She's not living better than me. And she needed to be shown that.

There's a reason I haven't seen her in 6 years.....