Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Sex Shaming


This is not one of my normal builds. But it is something that I KEEP seeing and it KEEPS pissing me off. Sex Shaming…

Sex Shaming is when external folks try to make another feel bad about their sexual proclivities. Now I get the shame part if it causes harm to another. If you are a rapist… get shamed. You molest children…. Get shamed. If you hurt another person… get shamed. But folks go too far….

When I was in grad school, I had a roommate who was bitching that her new roommate (after I graduated) had been having sex on her sofa. I could not understand why she was pissed. But I let her vent. Hell, I had sex on that same sofa. What is the big deal? I had slept on said couch, had monthly accidents on that couch, why not get my freak on on that couch? Communal stuff. Shit happens…. Needless to say the next time I visited her, she had a new couch.

Another chick was shamed because she had slept with over 20 men. Actually she was shamed by her pastor and her fiancĂ©’s mother. Why is that shameful? So she likes sex? Big deal. She is in her late 30’s. I could see if she was 18 and at 20. but even that isn't shame worthy. Is she having unprotected sex? No. Had she ever had a disease? No. Did she support herself with a square job and her own crib and car? Yes. Did she have a bunch of kids? No, she didn't have any. So why is it shameful for her to have that sex number?

I was reading an article about a person (they didn't mention the sex of the author but I assume it was a female) had a huge problem with her brother and sister in law having sex in a bathroom while staying as guests in her home. Folks be like, they should wait. WHAT? The reason I assumed it was a female was because she heard the commotion on a baby monitor.

This is my question…. Why do folks find sex so shameful? It’s why you’re here. This last election cycle showed the Republican males were very invested in what happens with a woman’s body. Only the males, though. Republican females were strangely silent on those issues. I wonder why…..

Sex is an activity like any other. It’s enjoyable and one should keep an eye out for safety. That’s it. Solo. Single. No more lo less. I run and I like it, but I watch where I’m going, carry ID, $ and pepper spray. No one shames me for being a runner. Well teenage boys do but that’s another build (and what the pepper spray is for).

Why are clergy so invested in the sex lives of their flock? That is absolutely none of their business. I have cursed out church folk for trying to get in my personal life. And truth be told, the ones who were the most interested also were the ones to make a power move. Seems like clergy should be PRO-sex. More sex = more people. More people = more protection money payments.

Why are folks so interested in whether or not gay people marry? Why do you care if you aren't gay? So somehow your gay neighbors (and we all have them) will somehow attack you if you don’t guard against them legally joining their lives??? That is cray cray. Gay people marrying is no different that any other marriage. Do have a problem with interracial marriage? Interdenominational? I object more to GMO’s than to gay marriage. It ain't my business. What folks object to is what they are doing in their beds and that is none of your business unless you happen to be invited.

I have never understood why ‘virtue’ was a desired attribute for women…. But not for men. Somehow it is preferable to have a frightened inexperienced girl underneath them than a grown assed woman who knows how to get her and the man off. I’m not a man so I don’t get it. Is it undesirable for a man to have a woman with experience? Usually when I hear that foolishness I chalk it up to small equipment. And I know that’s a sensitive topic for dudes. Why do men have issues with women who have been with other men when they have been with other women? There is no Equality in that.

Assigning any special feelings to the process of copulation is done by the people doing it and not the people telling you about it. If I had a child, I would encourage them to wait for love, but if they didn't, I wouldn't have a problem with that either. I would never shame my child, my friend, my mother, my sibling, my coworker, anybody for choices they make that affect them and only them. That’s how you be grown.

You wanna masturbate? Get the lotion. You want to dress like a baby and get spanked? Do it! You wanna have an orgy? Order enough food! (I have heard orgies partakers become ravenously hungry, and you know it makes sense…..) Are you a pillow princess? Lay back. Are you gerbil jammer? Just get it back out alive. PETA will judge you. Whatever you are into…Do YOU!

When folks hear my annoyance with this phenomenon they assume I am a total slut. When I was single I would have dudes disrespectfully try to put hands on me. LOL! They learned. I ain't that chick to put hands on. I’m not saying I’m a slut, I’m not saying I’m not. That’s my grown woman business. And you need to keep your nose out of it.



SupremeVictoryAllah said...


I agree totally Queen. People kill me with that self-righteous judgemental shit. At the end of the day we're all human beings with needs, some of which are of the sexual variety. Part of being a mature adult involves the science of being in touch with every dimension of self including the sexual self. And for the record, any honest man will tell you he would much rather do the forbidden dance with a wisdom that knows how to make her "backbone slip" than some prude who kisses like a 5th grader and fucks like a blind person. No disrespect to blind people born universal truth you get my drift LOL!