Monday, April 16, 2012

That Chick


I freely admit this is a rant. So feel free to skip it….

I hate people sometimes. I really do. One of my dealbreakers in any relationship is lack of reciprocity. If I do something for you…. especially something YOU asked me to do; you better be willing to pay it back. On Demand. I am a good friend. Not everyone that has my cell number is considered my friend. Some folks are just associates. I go all out for the people I care about. I need that for that to be mutual in order to maintain ‘friendship’ standing.

I need to clarify that I am not a "That Chick". You know that female who is always in need of aid. I can say that in complete honesty. I have had all manner of bad shit happen to me and I bare it on my own back. I don’t go off all ham needing other people to hold me up. In fact, I am the one usually holding other people up. So let me get into what is pissing Serenity off today….

I have a ‘friend’ who doesn't think twice about calling me last minute requesting that I ride with her to AL, LA or some other mystery god forsaken locale. And I went it every time she asked me. AT MY OWN EXPENSE. I buy my own food and entertainment and sometimes chip in on gas. She once wanted some barbequed swine and I drove 6 hours to SC to procure it. I’m a good friend. When she was sick, I cooked real food for her family for a week on my own dime. When she was taking care of her mother in another state, I cleaned her house and looked after her husband and children. (and she has a son that I don’t like) But when I asked her to ride with me to niece’s baby shower more than 2 months away, she couldn’t be bothered. Guess who is getting cut off?

I have another ‘friend’ who, when I was single used to invite me to everything going on in her home. I was invited to breakfasts and dinners and parties. I spoke to her at least 5 times a week and we used to hang out like pseudo-ballers. And now… Nothing. Now that I have a live in God, she doesn’t want to be hang out with me. Now that’s not me projecting. Those were her words. She doesn’t feel comfortable around him. She met him once… In a grocery store parking lot…. He didn’t say much and gave her the hug she asked for. But now she acts like he threatened or molested her. Yeah… I can’t.

There is are Earths in the cipher that add on regularly with each other and NEVER include me. Not that I need to be included. But it’s disconcerting to find out that such social equality existed and I was purposefully not included. What, I don't have feelings?

There are folks that would argue that they are jealous. But …. No. Folks say that to help them sleep through the night. Others have said that I intimidate people that’s why they don’t want to be around me. And I have had the experience of paying for services and not getting what I paid for because the people are scared of me. That’s some punk bitch shit right there. Your scared of dealing with me so you take my money and don't give me what I paid for? You really think that will work in your favor?

I have never been the type of female to have a load of female friends. Call it however you see it. I was raised in a house with 3 other men and I was the baby and only girl. That means I never shared anything with another female. I am more used to how men do things than the politics of women. And growing up I had female friends but not a lot. Yes I used to sit on the phone for hours at a time, but with the same circle of friends. And no I haven’t always kept the same friends but it has never been more than say 4 or 5 friends. That includes cousins. And I have had the experience of going into situations were I knew no one and still managed to get by. So it’s not that I need this interaction. It just would be nice.

Recently I was told it’s because I’m strong that this shit keeps happening to me. Really? That’s some bullshit if I ever heard of one. So because I strive to keep my business in good working condition, and not need to rely on others outised my personal cipher (and very few within) this precludes me from social equality? SMH…. I hardly believe that. But whatever the reason is, I want all these chicken heads to welcome and accept my finger with a gooey turd. I’m done with y’all pathetic asses.