Thursday, September 20, 2012



My Aunt died on Wednesday September 12, 2012. She was a GREAT aunt. A perfect Aunt. I am a little devastated and will miss her tremendously. She’d been sick with Alzheimer’s for a long time and I knew it was just only a matter of time. That’s the logical Serenity. The emotional Serenity wanted her to get better and live forever. I’m selfish and I admit it.

My Aunt was a lot older than my mother. Her son is nearly the same age as my mother. So it was like I had 2 grandmothers. And Auntie was the nice one. Not saying MaMa (grandmother) wasn’t a good grandmother, she just wasn’t gushy like you see other grandmothers to be. And she died before I could appreciate her.

The thing that brought it home for me was the funeral. I have mentioned that this cipher has lost a few Gods recently. I have been relatively detached from their passings simply because (a) I didn’t know them like that and/or (b) I am usually rational and can see and appreciate the larger picture. But mostly for this reason…. They weren’t my people. I have been righteous for 4 years and that’s as long as I have known those Gods. I have known my Auntie my entire life! She has been there for me and my family for my forever.

This death is technically the 2nd family death since I became righteous. But it’s the 1st truely raw death for me. My father died in 2008. I was 3 months righteous then, but still kind of going to church. So the mystery god thing was still very present for me for that death. But Auntie…. This death right there came raw, with no Vaseline. I know my Auntie is gone and I won’t ever see her again. That shit is a hard sell. At the funeral the preacher was preaching hard and folks were receiving comfort from his words and all the funeral songs, but I wasn’t getting any. I will feel this way, until I feel different.

And that is the reality of our culture people. Unadulterated raw truth. When folks, animals, whatever die… they are dead. They are not coming back when white Jesus comes back. Jesus is dead too. You will not see them again. All you have are the memories and that’s it. That’s all any of us will have to leave. And be mindful that we all had a beginning (birth) so we have an end (9,10:10). Be mindful that one needs to prepare as much for that as one has concern for it. You want to be buried a certain kind of way, you need to put that on paper and pre-pay for it. If you don’t care, then make no plans; and you will get what you get. But you won’t know… you’ll be dead.

So let’s keep this mathematical. Today’s Supreme Mathematics is Wisdom Cipher abbt Wisdom. How do our actions affect the cipher? What is owed by individual G’s And E’s? Our duty as civilized people is to teach the savage…. The prescribed laws of Islam for said person of that ability says that as I have abilities I need to use them to further the work of my beloved and chosen nation. Teaching and working... Both of which are Wisdom if done with Knowledge.

My Auntie was hard working woman. She had a high school diploma and that’s it. She worked retail all her life. She drove a 1974 Chevelle until the state took her license in 2002. Her house was always paid for. She kept a “garden” bigger than my office and she ‘put up’ preserved food. She raised and killed her own chickens and could cook her ass off. She always had enough to share. And share she did. My Auntie was a Christian woman… an evangelist, a missionary, a steward, a choir member, etc. My MaMa held the same titles. And my mother works hard in her church with many of the same titles. But Mommie can’t sing; go figure. When I was a Christian I worked hard in my church. I was a steward, an usher, a Sunday school teacher, a choir member, a missionary, a class leader and an usher. I was not unusual for me to go to the church every day of the week. I guess I got that honest. But I am not a church lady anymore. I’m Earth. But just because I don’t share my ancestors’ faith doesn’t mean I relinquish their responsibility of doing for others. I currently work had for my cipher. And I will continue to add on in the fashion that the women who raised me do.