Murray Krima

I just completed my 1st non-Christmas December 25th. Interesting.

I have a friend who is always concerned about how I navigate the holidays. I’m a widow and I do not have family in Georgia. People mean well. I understand that. But they should be more respectful of my boundaries. Read on…

I go to my girlfriend’s home, for what she markets to me as a “Card Party.” I told old girl that I was not doing Christmas anymore. She was like it’s cool, her family didn’t either. I go over at 6:30 (the scheduled start time) and nothing is ready. As a matter of fact, there is garbage all over the floor. So I smile and help her quickly clean the rest of her apartment. Another thing that threw me was that my friend lived in the projects. I do not have any problems with folks that live in the projects, but I don’t think there is anything amiss in sharing that with someone when you invite them to your home for thw first time. There was no food either and only 1 table in the spot. Hmmmm? How are you going to have a card party with just 1 table? That 1 table then went into the living room and received a tablecloth. Damn! No cards. This should have been my 1st clue. Then all these people started arriving. Now this is confusing to me, because there are not enough chairs for all these re people. But that must have been discussed, because folks are arriving with folding chairs and food for the table.

Now you are probably thinking I should have taken my leave, but I like colorful people and my friend seemed really happy that I was there. Then she pulls out a box and asks me to put up her Christmas tree. This is when colorful annoyance turns to anger. If I say that I am not celebrating Christmas, then I ain’t celebrating it. Her uncle (with a full complement of gold upper teeth, not a grill) came to her rescue and put it up and also put some space between us because she couldn’t understand why I was salty. Then the festivities began to start. There was no less than 15 babies under age 10 in the house and they all participated in a bootie shaking contest. WOW. Not a dancing contest, B-O-O-T-I-E SHAKING contest. Then all the children ate on the floor like a nest of rodents. Then they were shipped off to the bedroom without adult supervision. But they weren’t allowed to close the door. I don’t have children, but I’m not understanding why you would not allow cousins to be to themselves. All my same age cousins were boys and we were always left alone to our devices with only minimal damages.

The food…. everything they offered had swine in it. SMH. I ain’t playing. The cake was made with lard and the pasta salad was made with chitterlings. WHO DOES THAT? I was scared to eat anything there but a store bought cake. I wasn’t right. But it was humor there too. There was so many people there that doors had to be opened. Knowing Black folk as I know them, I took my seat next to the front door (with all my possessions), JIC. There was a Dave Chappell-ish crackhead running periodically up and down the stairs outside the door. Everytime he/she/it moved passed the door, it wished us a “Murray Krima.” Then there was a phantom grandmother calling everyone’s cell phone calling them whores and rogues. The lady sitting nest to me was telling me about how she was going to get up in the morning and visit one of her sons in prison and another in the halfway house. She also said how she had to be leaving soon because she had to go home and finish Krima dinner for her ’old man.’ I ain’t making this up, y’all. I left because you know I had too. More and more people were filtering into this 2 bedroom apartment and I know family can get when they gather and get some liquor in them. When I started looking for th friend who invited me, I found her taking a shower. There had to be 50 people in her home and it was 9:30 at night, and she was taking a shower? Unbelievable...

I felt betrayed. She misrepresented her event. I know she was only trying to be kind to me and she didn’t want me depressed on the holidays, but she should taken me at my word when I said that I was cool with it. I have spoken with a few folks who don’t celebrate and they pretty much isolate themselves from the world proper during this time. I had wondered why they took this approach. But now I can see the wisdom in this approach.

What have I learned from this experience? (1) Always host my own parties. This way I can control the environment. (2) Do not be ashamed of my lifestyle. Those people were crazy and tripping, but they checked themselves when they got within 3 feet of me. (3) There I nothing wrong with setting and maintaining my boundaries. No matter how masculine that makes me.


Peace

Today's Mathematics: Wisdom Culture/Freedom abbt Equality

Today is Christmas Eve. This is my 1st time not celebrating Christmas. I’m moderately bummed about it. I like Christmas. But I do not adhere to the belief of a mystery god; therefore have to give up that ghost (pun intended). Wisdom is wise words and actions of Original individuals. And Culture/Freedom refers to our lifestyle and just being mentally free of BS. (Forgive me for paraphrasing) So as much as I love this time of year because of the holiday, I have to man up and stand on my square and say…. I don’t celebrate Christmas.

The action of not celebrating Christmas this year has been the cause of much meditation for me. Probably more so than others that don’t observe. I have been very careful not to demonstrate the outer trappings of a religious holiday. I loved the singing and the carols. This time of year I like going to church and seeing the decorations. I like decorating my own queendom. Then I found myself considering whether or not it would be apropos to incorporate the secular aspects of the holiday in my cipher. I’m still on the fence about that. Clearly this needs more consideration. It’s hard to ask others how they negotiate around things. I’m convinced that most Black people are paranoid. And when you start asking questions, no matter how innocently you mean them, they start shutting down on you. And got the nerve to get aggressive to boot!

We have everything we need within our culture. We have our observances and celebrations. We know better than to buy into this wilderness’ foolishness and devilshment. But I ain’t lying when I say that even though BS kills us as a people…. It can be quite enjoyable. But is that ‘fun’ worth what it does to us as a people, as a Nation? And even though I don’t celebrate this so-called holiday, I’m still going to take the best part. I’m going to take a paid holiday and the time off. I’m going to partake of the sales (so to speak). And I plan to visit with my family.

B.U.T. when all is said and done, you have to be able to live a life on you own terms and according to your own system. And that is my Equality.


Peace.

Today's Mathematics: Wisdom Wisdom abbt Culture/Freedom

2- Wisdom -is the wise words spoken by the black man, black woman and black child. Wisdom is the black woman who is the moon, because she receives her light from the sun which is the black man and reflects it on to the star which is the black child. Wisdom is the manifestation of one's knowledge.

4- Culture/Freedom is one’s way of living, meaning one’s language (wisdom) and customs (ways and actions). The Original Man’s culture is Islam: freedom, justice, and equality, which is peace. Free to practice one's own culture, which is Islam. Without conflict.

A friend of mine said that today was a sister’s day because the manifestation of 2 represents woman. I like that. Since every month has a 22nd, I’m going to take it as a personal day!

But back to the manifestation…. I cee today’s math as being we should take care of the words that we Earths utter to each other. At a previous gathering of women I attended, there was another Earth present who has all kinds of animosity towards me. And I knew it, though I don’t know why. (Nor do I care) But every time I made a suggestion or offered support, she slammed me. Now other Earth’s in attendance witnessed the drama but did little to counteract it. I can understand why. They don’t want to get involved with something that’s not their business. I probably would do the same thing. But I wanted to get things on track. And being the older of the pair, I waited until we were breaking and asked her why she felt so strongly against me. She said she thought that I though too much of myself. I agreed with her. I do, but that’s me. I’m too old and unwilling to change is how I explained it to her. But the truth of the matter is I am very confident and I recognize that that can offend the less confident. So I joke about it, but never change it. Ask a confident person where that confidence comes from, and you will a long road of insults, let downs and abuse. She chilled after our talk and we were able to move on.

I could have showed my ass when the Earth confronted me in front of the group. I’m at that age where I know how to irrefutably put people in their places with a smile on my face. But I chose to be more diplomatic.

We women are guilty of being hard on each other while giving men the benefit of the doubt. We need to do better. Earth is the home to Islam. Islam being our culture means we have to watch the 2 that we speak to other 2's.


Peace

Love Hell or Right

Maybe it’s because it’s the end of the year and I’m getting reflective. This is going to sound incredibly crazy. Incredibly. I am typing this and still can’t believe that I am saying this. It’s stupid yet causing my soul to explode if I don’t let it out. Here goes….

I really LOVE this Nation!

Okay. You’re probably wondering why I feel this way at this moment. I have been part of this nation for a year now. I should have felt like this at the start. And you’re probably correct. But I can and only will speak for this Earth. New things can be scary.

I guess it’s like when you get a new job. You’re happy for the new opportunity but after a minute you see the inconsistencies within the cipher that you didn’t originally realize when you were honeymooning. Then you get angry and frustrated. Then finally accept it; maybe even find a way to be happy or love it. I have walked through this same process with the 5% Nation of Gods and Earth’s. I was initially excited to rejoin this Nation. Thrilled when I got lessons passed the math. But then I started coming amongst the righteous people. Witnessed inconsistencies. Got angry. Found my lessons hard to memorize and my folks disappeared. Twice. Saw unnecessary infighting. Got conflicting information. Have been lightly insulted. Made and lost friends, etc.

(1) I was studying my lessons the other day and realized that I had the lessons I had been working on. Not a suspicion, but HAD them. That was a comforting feeling. I have not 1’d the 120 yet, but the ones I have, I have and the 3 on them. Feels good.

(2) I looked at myself in the mirror, and thought to myself that I am more attractive (at least to myself) in ¾ than I was in whatever percentage I was rocking prior. And even without makeup, it’s still a good look. I had been previously convinced that I had to maintain a certain standard for acceptance. Make up was supposed to make me more attractive and more polished. Even my old Earth has a lot to say about how I dress now. But her complaints are due to lack of understanding vs. not being presentable. I look good regardless of whether or not I am wearing makeup and I have found creative ways to express myself without exposing myself. And the men still pause.

(3) Lately I have come to the realization that certain men are not going to come around to my way of thinking and lifestyle. That was initially depressing. But then I reconsidered my thoughts in a different light… Does it really matter? Does it matter that individuals whom I have only social equality with agree with something as personal as my point of view? No. On the flip side of the same album, I realize that I have to do what’s right for Serenity, regardless of whom or what. And I refuse to be ashamed to stand righteously on my own square.

I have more understanding in general too. Not just on Nation issues, but life as a whole. I cee things with the clarity of new glasses. I think and consider more from a mathematical perspective. And not that I didn’t have one before KOS, But I have made plans for the righteous future. Shaking off the mystery god was way more difficult for me than for others. The mystery god had been working for me. But with my clearer vision I cee that that was an illusion. A comfortable illusion, but an illusion all the same.

So what’s next for the Queen? I plan to 1 the 120 by the equinox. That is March 20th 2009. I plan to go to the Show and prove in 2009. I plan to add on with a true and living God. I really want to have seeds too in 2009. I have been in the last decade been preparing for how I’m currently living. Though not consciously. I am seizing the best part. I am so excited for what wisdom cipher cipher born will born into Serenity’s cipher, square and universe.

Keep checking for updates!


Peace.

I.S.L.A.M.

This has nothing to do with today’s math. At least I don’t think it does….

I was thinking about Supreme Mathematics manifestations, i.e. the order that they are displayed. Clearly there is a pre-existing order to the math (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0). But the knowledge, wisdom, understanding, culture/freedom, power/refinement, equality, god, build/destroy, born, cipher. There is a reason for the order.

Knowledge is the foundation of everything in existence… et al. Well ‘1’ begins the numerical system; therefore it’s the foundation. Wisdom corresponds with ‘2’. You cannot have wisdom without having knowledge 1st. And Understanding is a clearly drawn picture in one’s mind through knowledge and wisdom. It’s clear that 1,2 & 3 are in the appropriate order to build.

Can you really be free know who you are and express your lifestyle without 1 2 & 3 beforehand? And Power/refinement… Isn’t that a product of being free to knowledge your culture? Equality (6) comes along to show us balanced living and is 1+2+3. So it’s clear that 1,2 &3 was needed (as always) before hand and in that order. God (7) comes through as always to represent. I find it interesting that God comes in at 7 in the Supreme Math as well as the Supreme Alphabet. God is omnipotent. Build /Destroy comes along at this point because now that we have built up our spheres we need to know how to righteously govern it by building and destroying. Born is 9. 9 months to bring a child into this realm and 9 stages to manifest mentally. And a cipher indicates completion.

I draw this up to mean that mathematics is not just approaching life according to the ideal that each date brings; but to manifest our existences in an orderly fashion that is right and exact. Older people say you have to crawl before you can walk. I see this adage as a meaning that we all have to go though a process while walking our baby to adult to elder steps through this nation. And the learning doesn’t stop after Pluto.

Well…. Gotta get on my grind….

Allah was a genius, and I sincerely love his mathematics.



Peace

Today's Mathematics: Knowledge Born abbt Knowledge

What is my knowledge borning? In my own life? In Allah’s nation? I usually like to think of the phrase as making the unknown known. But I ain’t feeling that this afternoon.

I have plans and ambitions for my seeds. But that’s all a moot point since I don’t have seeds. Planning is always good. People who fail to plan, plan to fail. So borning in my sphere does not bear witness to the womb. The only thing left is mentally through Allah’s mathematics.

Lately I have been building with a God that asked me what is my contribution to this nation. That gave me pause for thought. As a toddler in this nation, I am very focused on getting my lessons. I am even slipping into “I can do it myself” mode. But I am not at all concerned at this point with what I can do. Hmmmm? Maybe I need to rethink that.

I got skills already that I would not mind sharing with the collective. I’m done (for real) with school, I have experiences that I can add on with. I sew, quilt, crochet, cook, bake, uncook, anally clean, have 1 on dentistry, natural health and I sing. I can and am willing to share what I know. But for real, I have come in contact with people who discount anything that you have/do if your pedigree ain’t right. So what I’m new! Does this mean that everything I learned before has no current bearing? Example: I know how to quilt, learned how to quilt from my ancestor Earths, and have made more than a few quilts. Why do I have to give references to prove that I know how to do this? I can show and prove this ability, but still get the fisheyes from chicks who have no clue what a square is. I don’t have a problem discussing my background. I do have a problem with being interrogated.

The above was adding on with Earths. Adding on with Gods is different and tricky. Gods adding on with Gods means that they are being social. But when Gods and Earths add on together…. It can be nice, it can be nasty, it can be mutually beneficial…. But it is always tricky. Gods argue this point to me at nauseum, but I refuse to believe that men and women cannot have a purely platonic working relationship. Gods seem to differ with me on that. And that’s peace. But it’s scary too; because I may know/have something that I can share other than my body and bank account. I know some stuff, damn it! And no I am not trying to be God. I don’t subscribe to that. I don’t even like it when folks be wanting to refer to women as Goddesses.

Now adding on with the Nation is different. But I’d still have to work with Gods and Earth’s proper. Hmmm…. This made more sense when I was getting started. The bottom line is I want to contribute my service, but find it hard to find my place.


Peace

How doth thy soul propser?

My family is Christian. I was raised Christian. And just like most people who were blind deaf and dumb when they where babies, I believed what I was told by the people in power (parents, family friends, teachers, etc.). Even though I was given that information in a certain fashion, didn’t mean that I processed it in the way they wanted. I didn’t. I didn’t know that I was processing off the grid either. I thought everyone saw it the way I did. This was my error… and theirs.

I never believed that GOD was this altruistic, beneficent loving grandfatherly entity that was concerned about me. There were too many people out there who suffered that believed in GOD. But churches will tell you that its not GOD… It’s them. They did something that GOD is punishing them for. So you know where the concept of GOD’s grace and forgiveness went for me, right?

I believed that GOD was neither male nor female. That in order for GOD to be omnipotent, It could not have a body. Like air. Also, Prayer seemed stupid to me. Prayer just seemed like a way to vent. Think about it… if GOD is so powerful and already “knows your heart” then why would one need to pray to share what’s on your mind? Does that make sense? And what kind of all powerful entity can be swayed by prayer, fasting and whatever? Your GOD can be pimped?

So why did I go to church as long as I did? Many reasons. My old Earth is and always has been a holy roller. People in her cipher go to church; her church. Cased closed. Oh you can say what you want about being “your own person”, but that’s for folks whose mother was not that important to them as was/is mine to me. It is this blogger’s opinion that if you truly love and respect people, you don’t want to see them disappointed, upset or hurt. Truth be told…. I am still a little scared of her. I liked the fellowship of church and I love to sing (and am not bad at it). And church, done right, can be a vehicle for community empowerment. I married a man whose beliefs mimicked my mother’s. So I went to church with him. We moved away from our family and friends and then he returned to the Essence. That left me for the first time in charge of how I disperse my Energy.

One of the many inconsistencies about church that irks me to madness is how folks manipulate the Bible. Jesus…our righteous brother… the hardest working zombie in all of history… did not teach Christianity. Paul, who was never a disciple of Jesus, actually initially persecuted the Christians, claimed to have astrally met Jesus on that Damascus road, (if I made the same claim, could I start my own religion?) brought what it is that we know as Christianity. This is all very incorrect. Jesus was a Jew teaching Jewish reform. But let me get on with this and not get sidetracked. Christians pull out the scripture (Romans 12:2) that reads “Be ye not conformed to this world; but transformed by the renewing of your mind…” Conforming is what Christians want you to do. If you have your own thoughts on Biblical issues, even if you have a divine epiphany, you are libel to become excommunicated. That sounds like conforming to me. And why does excommunication even exist in an organization that is supposed to bring salvation to the masses? I cee that scripture as meaning that we should be striving to come into knowledge of self. But that doesn’t fill the coffers of the church now does it? I’d like to pair the Romans scripture with Proverbs 4:7 “… and with all that getting, get understanding.” It’s the best part.

This Christmas season prompted the writing of this blog. I ran into a woman that I used to church with. She is no different from any other previous church person I meet. Instead of inquiring about my health, career, life, any damn thing; they want to know where I worship. The answer that instantly jumps into my head is Bedside Baptist, but I don’t say that. I take it to be the end of our conversation. But as always in parting they offer to pray for me. That always makes me smile. Not because I am happy to be prayed for, or that I’m gonna break out into a spirited rendition of “Somebody Prayed for me/Had me on their mind/Took the time to pray for me…. (told you I liked the singing part) but because it’s a mirror showing me my freedom from that type of foolishness. I suppose I could enlighten them on a few issues, but they have been trained not to hear. And why cast my pearls before swine?

Peace