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Saturday, February 28, 2009

Going back to Knowledge, Knowledge, Knowledge. Going back to Knowledge... I don't think so

I have gone back to knowledge. Damn! For real? I’m a give you a bit of my story.

This is not my first time as part of the 5% Nation of Gods and Earth’s. I had a bad boyfriend in high school. He claimed to be God. He treated me horrendously, never taught me anything past Supreme Mathematics and a bit of Supreme Alphabet. He never even gave me an appropriate righteous name. He called me by my nick name. Said that was righteous enough. As bad as he was, he interacted with other more upstanding Gods and Earths. In NJ for a minute, everyone was a God or Earth. So I knew from experience that there was a positive side to this nation. Through these other folks I learned that being a true and living God or Earth was a high accomplishment. Unfortunately, I never could figure out how to remain an Earth away from that person. So I went on back to Jesus.

That experience taught me, that if there is something that you want. You gotta want it for yourself. You can’t let someone else want it for you. It doesn’t work like that. Earths in this Nation especially. If we don’t want it for self, and we are only trying to please a man, where does that leave you if y’all separate? I’ll tell you where. Without a firm foundation. And we will fall back into the old ways because that’s all we have. And this life is not an easy life to live in this wilderness. We need each other.

Fast forward exactly 20 years. I have decide to come back to this Nation with my old behind. I wanted it for self. But I have issues. I did not want an enlightener/educator with whom I had a relationship with other than that of student-teacher. If he wasn’t close by that would be a plus too. I found what I was looking for. An enlightener with his own Earth who was willing to instruct me. He moved away, but still kept in regular contact with me. And delivered my lessons via email but followed up with me regularly. I could actually set my clock to his calls. But as life has already shown and proven to me, things change. He disappeared. And he knew this was going to happen. He equipped me with what I needed until he returned. And return he did. But then he disappeared only to return again. I’m a big girl. This ain’t nothing I can’t handle. But in the meantime… I’m still a woman.

I found a man. My own man. A true and living God. He has shown and proven to be what he said he was. And he has shared his wisdom with me. I am supremely happy. I was almost done with my lessons. I was nearly finished with the knowledge to culture cipher. He informed me that in order to be his Earth I had to reflect his light and that I would have to go all the way back to knowledge and redo my lessons with him. ALL OF THEM. Woooooooow.

The feminist in me is screaming hell to the naw! Yeah. I’m slightly country now. I never wanted to receive light from a man who has something to benefit from instructing me. My very first God treated my like shit and claimed his right to do so in the name of Allah. I know Earths who have been Earths for years, months and days who have never knowledge the 120 because they God hop. Gods have no such restriction. Maybe that’s why the 120 is not an Earth requirement. I said when I came back that I was doing this for me; and I meant it. But at what cost?

So back to knowledge I go. So far it’s a nice ride. But this is a one way ticket. I will not repeat this journey for another.


Peace.

2 comments:

Precise said...

Your God must be patient, wonderful, and one hell of a charming man to get you to go back to the foundation to be "his" so-called Earth..... ;-)

Bootzey said...

I'm not speaking to you!